Weeks 14 and 15 and Reassurance

I really do feel like a first-time mom in some ways. I had some cramping yesterday and combined with lower progesterone and estradiol levels last week + inadvertently reading a vivid depiction of a miscarriage (seriously, why was that the first chapter of a pregnancy nutrition book), I asked to pop in between visits (I had a 5 week stretch between visits for some reason) to make sure baby was okay. He was flipping all around on the doppler and they found a great heart rate in the 150s. Then I saw him briefly on ultrasound and he's SO much bigger than 3 weeks ago, and so active! 

This pregnancy has been such a trippy experience. Since 12 weeks, I've maybe had 1-2 days of fatigue and not-quite-nausea, but overall I feel... great. Which is great! Except also weird. Like I keep being surprised when my pants don't fit or when I run into something with my belly because I feel so... not different. 

That being said, there's nothing to really report except my little bout of anxiety. I went camping with Rosie and her AHG troop last weekend. The relaxin effect made my air mattress more uncomfy than usual, but overall it was actually a really fun weekend. Rose and I got some girl time, and baby boy had his first camping experience. 

I do feel him moving every few days, not quite regularly enough to be reassuring. But he's definitely busy and I really just love that. My nausea basically dropped off somewhere between 12-13 weeks and I love that too, except when it makes me momentarily anxious. What a wild thing to experience this all again, different but the same. I'm sure one would never fully get used to the miracle of growing a human from scratch. It's so normal and so extra-ordinary. To think all the personalities in our house started out this way, safe in my body, swimming and growing and chilling. I am so excited to meet this little guy, too. 

Isaac is really excited to be a big brother now that he's gotten used to the idea of not being the baby. He really wants to see the baby "pop out," so we will need to do some birth prep and see if the kids are actually interested in that! Overall, 15 weeks down and 25 to go. I kind of want to cherish this season with my three bigs, but also having them bigger and seeing how their personalities form makes me ready to see what this baby is like, too!