It's really hard not to count down to 38.5 weeks, when Noah was born. I'm 38.1 weeks today and I went into labor at 38.4 with Noah. I have a feeling I'm going to go past that, yet I'm also making zero plans past Thursday. This week finds me really patient with Noah, nostalgic for my baby belly already, and a little bit stir-crazy. It's weird to have time to wrap stuff up, yet I don't quite have the energy to do so after the last few weeks ended up being so eventful! It's simply impossible to keep the house clean with a toddler on the loose, but I am slowly still organizing nooks and crannies and weeding through stuff that's always accumulating. I'd like to have a few solid hours to actually update pictures on the blog! I'm like 2+ years behind, and it feels like now or never! That's the only other big project left undone, though. It's weird to have clothes and diapers washed and folded. I even have the hospital bag mostly packed!
So, here are some reflections on this pregnancy. The past 9 months have felt like an eternity, yet gone by in the blink of an eye when I look at how much Noah has grown and changed! And of course, baby sister has gone from the size of a poppy seed to, well, the size of a 6.5+ pound baby!
Most exciting moment:
Probably a tie between the positive pregnancy test on Thanksgiving morning, and the 20 week ultrasound. The positive test-- it's something I'll only see a very few times in my life, and there's nothing like all the promise that second line holds! The ultrasound-- it's when both babies really felt "real" to me, and I was able to start imaging all of this actually happening.
Most challenging moment:
Gosh, I was simply not prepared for how awful I'd feel this time around, and I quickly understood why being pregnant with a toddler is even harder. We made it through! But there were so many days either when Noah was home that I felt like I neglected him a bit, or when he went to his once-a-week Parent's Day Out, and I was too sick to be at all productive with my elusive solo time.
One thing I'm proud of:
Last time, I totally would've said I was proud of my consistent workouts and the fact that I ate vegetables every day, even when I felt kind of gross. This time, wow. Probably both because of the loss between pregnancies, but also because of the fact that I have 3 years of mom-ming under my belt, I'm always humbled by how much is out of my control, and how little I can actually claim to be proud of. Not to mention the fact that I was so much sicker this time, and circumstances are just so different. So yeah, I'm proud I've worked out when I can. I'm proud that I somehow had the foresight to potty train Noah before getting pregnant again. I'm proud that I've really been utilizing the warmer weather to get out and spend time with Noah after a gross winter and spring. I'm proud of all the work I put into physical therapy, counseling, and self-care to make this pregnancy and postpartum (hopefully) much smoother! But mostly I'm just grateful for the good days, and aware that I can't take much credit for them.
One thing I wish were different:
I wish I'd made more time to go swim laps/get out of the house/hang out with friends in the evening before being tied down for a few months. Between Noah's sleep regression and Ross' work deadlines, that just hasn't been feasible. I also legitimately wish we could hire a housecleaner once a month. I realize that sounds spoiled, but with me being so sick, and so uncomfortable, it's been impossible to clean the floors regularly, and in a house with all wood floors, they get dirty like hours after cleaning them. Even someone who coming to mop the floors and scrub the bathtub once a month would be a huge luxury! Maybe someday.
Favorite foods:
Right now I'm craving sushi and a huge Chick-fil-a lemonade! But in general, food hasn't been my favorite thing this pregnancy, which is very unlike me!
Least favorite food:
Anything I make myself? Ha! We do eat at home so so much, but I'll confess I always jump at the chance to go out. I find that even though the nausea has mostly subsided, I am generally tired of the food/flavors by the time I'm finished cooking dinner and before we've even eaten!
Physical state:
Today is the first day in a week or so that I've felt kind of normal. Yay for a reprieve! But generally feeling pretty heavy. My feet hurt when I stand up in the morning. They're not used to carrying this much weight! But I love love love the baby belly and wouldn't trade it for anything!
Mental state:
Oh gosh. It varies between exhausted, excited, and really really nervous about all the change that's coming.
One thing that surprised me:
How different my pregnancies would feel. I'm also surprised at how much Noah seems to "get it." He asks a lot of good questions, and it blows my mind! "How will my baby sister get out?" "Why is she upside down?" "Where are her toes? Where are her eyeballs? Will she have teeth when she comes out? Can she eat ___ (insert whatever food Noah is eating at the time)? When you eat, does she eat?"
Looking forward to:
Meeting the baby, of course. I'm almost more excited for that this time around, since now I know how fun it is it to get to KNOW a tiny human! I'm also really curious to see how/when labor plays out. We had a great experience with Noah, but I hear second babies come faster and I can't afford to be in denial for the first 75% of my labor, especially when toddler childcare is a factor! It's also hard to imagine my labor story going any differently than it did the first time, although I know logically there's no way everything would/could play out exactly the same way. So, we wait. And pray for a safe delivery!
Showing posts with label third trimester. Show all posts
Showing posts with label third trimester. Show all posts
Monday, July 24, 2017
Sunday, July 2, 2017
34 weeks and a false alarm
It's July 2. I'm 35 weeks pregnant today. 35 days to go until my due date, but we are likely to meet baby a bit before that. THIS MONTH. How is that possible?!
We rung in 34 weeks with a fun false alarm. I'm not sure if was because baby's position changed, or if my body was just over the last few weeks of go, go, go, but after church on Sunday I started having... contractions? They didn't quite feel like LABOR contractions, but they were also pretty different compared to the normal Braxton-Hicks I have all the time. My lower back was killing me, and the contractions were coming every 2 minutes. They didn't hurt? Per se? Not compared to labor, at least. But they were intense enough to stop me in my tracks when walking. I went home and laid down, and they didn't stop, so I called the Midwife. Since they DID finally stop with a warm bath, I narrowly avoided a visit to triage. But I had to stay in bed the rest of the day because they started up again the minute I would stand up! I drank a ton of water and Gatorade, took Benadryl and Tylenol that night, and slept it off.
I woke up on Monday quite sore, but thankfully back to my normal Braxton-Hicks. My Midwife appointment verified that I hadn't made any actual labor progress. Whew! I was really starting to panic there. However, it was soon evident that sister is now in a transverse position, which is REALLY uncomfortable given that she's 4.5-5 pounds, and roughly 18 inches long. I mean, there's a BABY in there and I am not wide enough for her to be chilling out sideways. It feels like my abs and my tailbone are going to rip open.
I'm not going to lie... it's making me nervous. Turns out transverse is actually a little more worrisome than a frank breech position at this stage, suggesting that possibly the placenta or cord is in the way, keeping her from turning again. I'm constantly praying for her to get head down, but I'm also praying that she stays SAFE. It makes me so nervous to think about cord accidents, nuchal cords, true knots, placental abruption. Ugh. So many many things that can go wrong between now and the sweet day I get to hold her in my arms. Pregnancy is so miraculous and so humbling, and I'm just praying that God keeps us both safe for a few more weeks. And a head-down baby with an uneventful birth would be even better.
This week, I happened to have a chiropractor appointment, acupuncture, physical therapy, and yoga. Ha! Even if she hasn't moved, I'm marginally more comfortable, but also way bigger than I was 7 days ago. Someone had a growth spurt! I don't remember the stretching being this painful last time. Either it's her fun position, or I just forgot about this part. I thought since everything has already been stretched once, it wouldn't be that big of a deal, but I three years was a long time ago, I guess, and my body has been through a lot.
Best moment of the week: We got a care package from the family I used to nanny for in Texas. They sent a perfect big brother book for Noah that made me tear up, but they also sent some adorable pajamas and a Madeline book for baby sister. Well. Noah is OBSESSED with the Madeline book. Like we read it a dozen times a day. He calls it his baby sister book. SO CUTE. (Runner up moment was the way Noah's eyes lit up when I told him he would get to meet baby sister in one month. "Not two months!?" "Nope, just one more month!")
We rung in 34 weeks with a fun false alarm. I'm not sure if was because baby's position changed, or if my body was just over the last few weeks of go, go, go, but after church on Sunday I started having... contractions? They didn't quite feel like LABOR contractions, but they were also pretty different compared to the normal Braxton-Hicks I have all the time. My lower back was killing me, and the contractions were coming every 2 minutes. They didn't hurt? Per se? Not compared to labor, at least. But they were intense enough to stop me in my tracks when walking. I went home and laid down, and they didn't stop, so I called the Midwife. Since they DID finally stop with a warm bath, I narrowly avoided a visit to triage. But I had to stay in bed the rest of the day because they started up again the minute I would stand up! I drank a ton of water and Gatorade, took Benadryl and Tylenol that night, and slept it off.
I woke up on Monday quite sore, but thankfully back to my normal Braxton-Hicks. My Midwife appointment verified that I hadn't made any actual labor progress. Whew! I was really starting to panic there. However, it was soon evident that sister is now in a transverse position, which is REALLY uncomfortable given that she's 4.5-5 pounds, and roughly 18 inches long. I mean, there's a BABY in there and I am not wide enough for her to be chilling out sideways. It feels like my abs and my tailbone are going to rip open.
I'm not going to lie... it's making me nervous. Turns out transverse is actually a little more worrisome than a frank breech position at this stage, suggesting that possibly the placenta or cord is in the way, keeping her from turning again. I'm constantly praying for her to get head down, but I'm also praying that she stays SAFE. It makes me so nervous to think about cord accidents, nuchal cords, true knots, placental abruption. Ugh. So many many things that can go wrong between now and the sweet day I get to hold her in my arms. Pregnancy is so miraculous and so humbling, and I'm just praying that God keeps us both safe for a few more weeks. And a head-down baby with an uneventful birth would be even better.
This week, I happened to have a chiropractor appointment, acupuncture, physical therapy, and yoga. Ha! Even if she hasn't moved, I'm marginally more comfortable, but also way bigger than I was 7 days ago. Someone had a growth spurt! I don't remember the stretching being this painful last time. Either it's her fun position, or I just forgot about this part. I thought since everything has already been stretched once, it wouldn't be that big of a deal, but I three years was a long time ago, I guess, and my body has been through a lot.
Best moment of the week: We got a care package from the family I used to nanny for in Texas. They sent a perfect big brother book for Noah that made me tear up, but they also sent some adorable pajamas and a Madeline book for baby sister. Well. Noah is OBSESSED with the Madeline book. Like we read it a dozen times a day. He calls it his baby sister book. SO CUTE. (Runner up moment was the way Noah's eyes lit up when I told him he would get to meet baby sister in one month. "Not two months!?" "Nope, just one more month!")
Sunday, May 21, 2017
27 and 28 Weeks: Ish is Getting Real
How big is baby? At 29 weeks, she is as big as a butternut squash (roughly 2.5 lbs and 15 inches long). Funny, because I just planted some squash seeds this week! Honestly, she feels huge when she moves-- I can feel her simultaneously kicking my ribs and punching my bladder some days!
Total weight gain/loss: I finally made up for lost time, and at my 28 week appointment, I was up 21 pounds! Not surprising, given that I've been waking up super hungry and thirsty in the middle of the night (and eating a Larabar) for the past two weeks.
Exercise: I'm finally easing back into this a bit. Trying to take a walk 1-2 times a week, weather and schedule permitting. I LOVE the fresh air and movement, but pushing a heavy stroller and/or walking a long distance really doesn't feel great on my hips, unfortunately. I'm also trying to do a 10-20 minute Barre3 workout 2-3 times a week. Life has been so crazy, though, that it's been more like 1-2 times a week. I really like these workouts because they take effort, and help with back pain, but they don't totally wipe me out.
Stretch marks: None yet, knock on wood. Trying to moisturize most nights now that baby is growing so quickly!
Swelling: Just yes. It's really uncomfortable. I had a reprieve for about a month there, but she flipped into a vertex position at 28 weeks, and the discomfort increased again. It's much more comfortable when she's transverse or butt-down, but I think she's running out of room to hang out like that. It's nice to know that she can safely be head-down (I was starting to wonder...), but now of course I wish she'd waited a few more weeks!
Sleep: Oh boy. The past two weeks I've had some crazy 4am insomnia! I fall asleep instantly at night, but then wake up in the early hours and cannot go back to sleep. I started taking a bathroom break, eating a Larabar, and chugging water at that time. It helped a bit, but it was still hit or miss whether or not I'd fall back asleep. Even when I did fall asleep again by 0530 or so, I'd actually wake up more tired when Noah got up at 0600. Thankfully, the past few days I seem to be falling back asleep much quicker, but I've been going to bed WAY too late. We finally finished (knock on wood) the last big house project, and I've been trying to get everything back in order after having the house in disarray again.
Food cravings: It's funny, I think I'm just not going to have cravings this pregnancy. In reality, it's only been about 8-9 weeks since EVERYTHING sounded disgusting, and even now, I'm not really interested in eating certain things at certain times. However, I will almost never say no to seared scallops (!!!), a gluten free lemon bar from Dolce bakery (SO amazing), or CoYo dairy-free yogurt (particularly the mango flavor, but all of them are thick and tart, like a coconut-based Greek yogurt).
Symptoms: Thankfully the heartburn has decreased, and I'm so thankfully that the nausea is gone. I feel like pregnancy is moving crazy quickly now, and I think it's because I really only stopped feeling miserable about 8 weeks ago! Swelling is my biggest symptom right now, and I know that's just going to get worse. Oh! And the crazy Braxton-Hicks have decreased significantly since I started drinking red raspberry leaf daily. I definitely notice the days I don't take it!
Movement: Lots, and all over. She's pretty quiet when I'm up and about, but almost always makes her presence known when I lay down. Noah often asks, "Is my baby sister awake?" Of course, she's usually asleep when he asks that!
What I'm loving: Looking pregnant. The third trimester is my very favorite for this fact alone.
What I'm looking forward to: Meeting her. I'm going to try really hard to enjoy the last 10 weeks (although if she's early like Noah, it'll be even less than that. Yikes!) but now that I know how fun it is to get to know the little PERSON in there, I'm excited to see what she's like on the outside.
Best moment this week: I passed my glucose tolerance test. Yay! The bummer is that I'm slightly anemic, but I'm so glad I don't have gestational diabetes.
Friday, June 6, 2014
39 Weeks: The End, and the Beginning
Where to begin? I guess we left off with me feeling cautiously optimistic that maybe we'd make it to our due date and actually have time to get stuff done and take a breather before beginning the next chapter of our lives.
This week started with my brother's wedding on Saturday. All along everyone gave me a hard time about going into labor at the rehearsal dinner, and I'm happy to report the weekend went off without a hitch. In hindsight, we should've gone to bed earlier Friday and Saturday, but when your family is partying, you don't want to be the spoilsport! Also, the wedding was actually really fun and we're so happy for Tommy and Sarah!
So we were super tired on Sunday, but that's to be expected after several long days and late nights. That evening, our doula came over for the last bit of our childbirth class. When she left, I said, "I'm so not ready to be done being pregnant. I haven't hit the miserable point yet. I really love it and I'm going to miss it!" She laughed and said, "that's exactly why you're not even on my labor radar yet!"
I had a ton of hip pain Sunday night and didn't sleep well at all, but I chalked it up to being on my feet all day Saturday. The hip and back pain continued into Monday, which I had planned to be a really productive day but I think making one freezer meal and running a few errands totally wore me out and I ended up taking an afternoon nap on the couch before meeting Ross at our hospital for a tour of Labor and Delivery (procrastinate much?!).
So... Saturday wedding. Sunday childbirth class. Monday hospital tour. Tuesday... I went into labor.
I say that in hindsight, of course, because I was totally in denial at the time. I started having painful contractions Tuesday morning at work. I'd had regular Braxton-Hicks contractions for months, so I wasn't really concerned at first. But these contractions continued to be just painful enough to make me take notice. It was really the perfect day to go into labor (besides, you know, being a good week or so earlier than I was mentally prepared for): I was at work in the NICU, so I had something to occupy myself with, but I had a really easy assignment meaning I got to sit when I needed to sit, and drink lots (and lots) of water.
[As a funny aside, one of my patients was going home, and the baby had a due date just one or two days off from mine. He was 7 1/2 lbs and seemed huge to me. When his mom found out that my own delivery was imminent, she said, "as for a spinal the minute you get to the hospital. This sh*t is going to hurt!" Uhhh...How do you even respond to that?! ]
Throughout the day, the contractions continued to be frequent enough and "painful" enough that I timed them every few hours. (I put painful in quotation marks, perhaps because I now know how much more painful they were going to get, but also because they weren't really painful enough for me to stop what I was doing when it happened... just enough to make me take notice and take a deep breath). Anyway, they were 8-18 minutes apart all day.
I gave my doula a heads-up, but I really didn't think much of it. My Braxton Hicks always acted up during 12-hour shifts, so I figured this was going to be the same kind of thing... practice contractions, doing some of the work of labor (work that I wouldn't have to do later on in the hospital, as my doula always said) but not the real deal yet. I had big plans to go home, take some Benadryl, and go to bed.
Which is more or less what I did, after making a labor playlist and throwing some stuff into a hospital bag (maybe I knew something was really happening after all?). I went to bed around 11pm or so, only to wake up at 2am. There was a HUGE storm that night and I listened to the thunder and laid in bed for a few contractions before waking Ross up to time them. Then I proceeded to have a few painful hours of contractions lasting 1-2 minutes, and coming 5-6 minutes apart. I was really able to breathe through them, but they were significantly more painful compared to the ones I'd had all day. But again, it was a different kind of pain than I'd ever experienced. Maybe because it was productive pain instead of needless pain? I felt normal between the contractions throughout all of labor, which was an immense relief to me. The pain isn't continuous! It can and will end! Although as I laid there that night, I noticed my shoulders were starting to hurt from being clenched up and my abs were sore like I'd been doing situps.
I was planning to head to the hospital when either my water broke, or when contractions were one minute long and 4 minutes apart for one hour. Since neither of those was true, I laid there through the contractions, taking slow deep breaths. In hindsight maybe this is when you would typically go to the hospital. But whether it was my fatigue after the last few days, the Benadryl, or my straight up denial, I didn't even consider leaving the house yet. After an hour or two of those painful contractions, I got up and had Ross finish packing our hospital bags (again... procrastinate much?!)
Ross had actually planned to take Wednesday off to finish a few things around the house, put the crib together, unpack a few boxes... you know, important things. He said at this point, though, that if he didn't have the day off already he would've called in then. I was moving out of my denial a bit, but still thinking we had a ways to go. Yet I was literally praying, "God, make these contractions stop. Give us a few more days. I'm not ready!"
I managed to get up, make a smoothie, take a long hot shower and take a second Benadryl (I'd taken one capsule before bed earlier in the evening). By that point, I was comfortable enough to go back to bed, although it was a weird sleep. I feel like I slept seamlessly through the contractions, but was still coherent enough to feel each one before drifting off again. I woke up around 9am and the contractions were still just as painful, but had spaced out to 8-10 minutes apart.
I walked to the garden in our backyard with Ross to get some kale to eat with my eggs for breakfast, and the uneven ground was incredibly painful to walk on and basically gave me constant contractions as I walked out and back. I remember saying to Ross, "this is so painful! How on earth do people go on long walks in early labor?!" (Spoiler alert, I was not in early labor anymore!)
Around 10am I decided to call my Midwife's office just to be sure my water hadn't broken or anything (I always swore I'd never be one of those people who "wasn't sure" if her water was broken or not. Joke's on me!) The nurse called back and told me to come on in to be checked. I hemmed and hawed for a bit. Considered painting the kitchen cabinets that really needed painting. Considered baking brownies because I wanted to bring them to the hospital. Finally decided I should probably be seen before the office staff went to lunch, so we left the house around 11:15am.
I was really afraid they'd say I was crazy and send me home, but we also brought everything we'd need to stay and I think I knew deep down that we were leaving the house for good. But again, I was in denial. It was easier to say, "I'll bake the brownies when we get home later!" than to say, "the next time I walk through that door I will have a baby and life will never be the same again."
We got to the office around 11:45am and the elevators were being slow, so I said, "let's just take the stairs!" Up 4 flights. I had one or two contractions on that hike. I think that kicked things into gear again and from that moment on, my contractions started getting closer together. When we got to the office, they took me back pretty quickly. I went to sit on the exam table, but had a contraction again and stood up to bend over the table. (Ever since the end of my shift the day before, it hurt to sit during a contraction). Of course, that's when my Midwife walked in and I think she went into labor mode right then and there. She said, "oh, you didn't tell me you were having labor contractions!" I said, "I wasn't sure if I was!" She was like, "Um yeah those are not your Braxton-Hicks anymore."
She checked me and said, "well, your water's not broken, but you're 6cm dilated, 100% effaced, baby's at zero station, and we're going to direct admit you to labor and delivery right now!" All I heard was, "6cm... direct admission..." I started tearing up and it was all I could do not to sob. It was starting. We were going to meet our baby THAT DAY! I was shocked, elated, and... mostly shocked. Also relieved that the pain had been productive and I was over halfway there!!! Ross started tearing up, too, and I think we were both just completely in awe. This was real. It was really happening!
When Ross pulled my phone out to tell my parents we were being admitted, he noticed a missed call from our doula around 11:30am. He called her back to update her and she said she was calling to tell us that if we hadn't been checked yet, we should think about going in. She knows me so well. She said when I rated my overnight contractions at a 7 out of 10 on the pain scale, she knew it was the real deal. I just couldn't stop apologizing because all along, she'd said "don't be the hero. I don't want my first update to be your calling from the hospital." Ooops! But I legitimately didn't think I was in real labor yet until my Midwife said those words.
Then the nurse brought a wheelchair over to take us to L and D. Of course, I took one look at it and in my split second of hesitation, the Midwife said, "It's going to hurt to sit isn't it? You can walk if you'd rather." So we walked very slowly across to the hospital and I had very frequent contractions the whole way there. I'm glad we left the house when we did, because things had accelerated rapidly in that hour.
We were admitted Wednesday afternoon and had a baby four hours later. One of the best days of my life thus far! And that's the story of my 39th week of pregnancy... the day we would've been celebrating turning 39 weeks, we left the hospital with a baby instead. The end of this pregnancy, but a whole new beginning.
This week started with my brother's wedding on Saturday. All along everyone gave me a hard time about going into labor at the rehearsal dinner, and I'm happy to report the weekend went off without a hitch. In hindsight, we should've gone to bed earlier Friday and Saturday, but when your family is partying, you don't want to be the spoilsport! Also, the wedding was actually really fun and we're so happy for Tommy and Sarah!
 |
| (May 31) |
So we were super tired on Sunday, but that's to be expected after several long days and late nights. That evening, our doula came over for the last bit of our childbirth class. When she left, I said, "I'm so not ready to be done being pregnant. I haven't hit the miserable point yet. I really love it and I'm going to miss it!" She laughed and said, "that's exactly why you're not even on my labor radar yet!"
 |
| (June 1... notice the nursery jam-packed with moving boxes...) |
So... Saturday wedding. Sunday childbirth class. Monday hospital tour. Tuesday... I went into labor.
I say that in hindsight, of course, because I was totally in denial at the time. I started having painful contractions Tuesday morning at work. I'd had regular Braxton-Hicks contractions for months, so I wasn't really concerned at first. But these contractions continued to be just painful enough to make me take notice. It was really the perfect day to go into labor (besides, you know, being a good week or so earlier than I was mentally prepared for): I was at work in the NICU, so I had something to occupy myself with, but I had a really easy assignment meaning I got to sit when I needed to sit, and drink lots (and lots) of water.
 |
| (lopsided belly at work) |
[As a funny aside, one of my patients was going home, and the baby had a due date just one or two days off from mine. He was 7 1/2 lbs and seemed huge to me. When his mom found out that my own delivery was imminent, she said, "as for a spinal the minute you get to the hospital. This sh*t is going to hurt!" Uhhh...How do you even respond to that?! ]
Throughout the day, the contractions continued to be frequent enough and "painful" enough that I timed them every few hours. (I put painful in quotation marks, perhaps because I now know how much more painful they were going to get, but also because they weren't really painful enough for me to stop what I was doing when it happened... just enough to make me take notice and take a deep breath). Anyway, they were 8-18 minutes apart all day.
I gave my doula a heads-up, but I really didn't think much of it. My Braxton Hicks always acted up during 12-hour shifts, so I figured this was going to be the same kind of thing... practice contractions, doing some of the work of labor (work that I wouldn't have to do later on in the hospital, as my doula always said) but not the real deal yet. I had big plans to go home, take some Benadryl, and go to bed.
Which is more or less what I did, after making a labor playlist and throwing some stuff into a hospital bag (maybe I knew something was really happening after all?). I went to bed around 11pm or so, only to wake up at 2am. There was a HUGE storm that night and I listened to the thunder and laid in bed for a few contractions before waking Ross up to time them. Then I proceeded to have a few painful hours of contractions lasting 1-2 minutes, and coming 5-6 minutes apart. I was really able to breathe through them, but they were significantly more painful compared to the ones I'd had all day. But again, it was a different kind of pain than I'd ever experienced. Maybe because it was productive pain instead of needless pain? I felt normal between the contractions throughout all of labor, which was an immense relief to me. The pain isn't continuous! It can and will end! Although as I laid there that night, I noticed my shoulders were starting to hurt from being clenched up and my abs were sore like I'd been doing situps.
 |
| (at 3:25am June 4) |
Ross had actually planned to take Wednesday off to finish a few things around the house, put the crib together, unpack a few boxes... you know, important things. He said at this point, though, that if he didn't have the day off already he would've called in then. I was moving out of my denial a bit, but still thinking we had a ways to go. Yet I was literally praying, "God, make these contractions stop. Give us a few more days. I'm not ready!"
I managed to get up, make a smoothie, take a long hot shower and take a second Benadryl (I'd taken one capsule before bed earlier in the evening). By that point, I was comfortable enough to go back to bed, although it was a weird sleep. I feel like I slept seamlessly through the contractions, but was still coherent enough to feel each one before drifting off again. I woke up around 9am and the contractions were still just as painful, but had spaced out to 8-10 minutes apart.
I walked to the garden in our backyard with Ross to get some kale to eat with my eggs for breakfast, and the uneven ground was incredibly painful to walk on and basically gave me constant contractions as I walked out and back. I remember saying to Ross, "this is so painful! How on earth do people go on long walks in early labor?!" (Spoiler alert, I was not in early labor anymore!)
Around 10am I decided to call my Midwife's office just to be sure my water hadn't broken or anything (I always swore I'd never be one of those people who "wasn't sure" if her water was broken or not. Joke's on me!) The nurse called back and told me to come on in to be checked. I hemmed and hawed for a bit. Considered painting the kitchen cabinets that really needed painting. Considered baking brownies because I wanted to bring them to the hospital. Finally decided I should probably be seen before the office staff went to lunch, so we left the house around 11:15am.
 |
| (5 HOURS PRE-BABY! So oblivious. Photo taken mid-contraction.) |
We got to the office around 11:45am and the elevators were being slow, so I said, "let's just take the stairs!" Up 4 flights. I had one or two contractions on that hike. I think that kicked things into gear again and from that moment on, my contractions started getting closer together. When we got to the office, they took me back pretty quickly. I went to sit on the exam table, but had a contraction again and stood up to bend over the table. (Ever since the end of my shift the day before, it hurt to sit during a contraction). Of course, that's when my Midwife walked in and I think she went into labor mode right then and there. She said, "oh, you didn't tell me you were having labor contractions!" I said, "I wasn't sure if I was!" She was like, "Um yeah those are not your Braxton-Hicks anymore."
She checked me and said, "well, your water's not broken, but you're 6cm dilated, 100% effaced, baby's at zero station, and we're going to direct admit you to labor and delivery right now!" All I heard was, "6cm... direct admission..." I started tearing up and it was all I could do not to sob. It was starting. We were going to meet our baby THAT DAY! I was shocked, elated, and... mostly shocked. Also relieved that the pain had been productive and I was over halfway there!!! Ross started tearing up, too, and I think we were both just completely in awe. This was real. It was really happening!
When Ross pulled my phone out to tell my parents we were being admitted, he noticed a missed call from our doula around 11:30am. He called her back to update her and she said she was calling to tell us that if we hadn't been checked yet, we should think about going in. She knows me so well. She said when I rated my overnight contractions at a 7 out of 10 on the pain scale, she knew it was the real deal. I just couldn't stop apologizing because all along, she'd said "don't be the hero. I don't want my first update to be your calling from the hospital." Ooops! But I legitimately didn't think I was in real labor yet until my Midwife said those words.
Then the nurse brought a wheelchair over to take us to L and D. Of course, I took one look at it and in my split second of hesitation, the Midwife said, "It's going to hurt to sit isn't it? You can walk if you'd rather." So we walked very slowly across to the hospital and I had very frequent contractions the whole way there. I'm glad we left the house when we did, because things had accelerated rapidly in that hour.
 |
| (family of THREE) |
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| (baby cheeeeeks) |
Friday, May 30, 2014
38 Weeks
Holy. Crap. All week, I've been telling everyone who asks that my due date is three weeks away. BUT IT'S JUST TWO WEEKS AWAY! Completely surreal. We had some pictures taken on Memorial Day... our last holiday sans baby! Tomorrow marks the end of our mental list of, "baby absolutely cannot come until..." We had maternity photos taken by my awesome friend Lindsay on Monday, I worked my last day at New Birth Company on Tuesday, we finally had our childbirth class on Wednesday, I started making freezer meals on Thursday, Ross finished a huge work deadline today, and my brother and his wonderful fiance get married tomorrow. Also as of this past week, our kitchen has a floor and the laundry room is next! Kitchen counters and backsplash aren't in yet, but the house finally feels like a HOUSE and not a construction zone! (Have I mentioned that Ross is the hardest worker ever?)
Next week I hope to have time/wherewithal/access to my belongings to pack a hospital bag! I feel like a terrible hypocrite and procrastinator given my line of work and the fact that I'm always encouraging parents to get stuff done sooner rather than later. The NICU nurse in me felt like I was living on the edge (not in a good way) entering 37 weeks without a packed hospital bag or a childbirth class under my belt. Without a crib mattress, let alone a "nursery." Without so many of the little "necessities" and niceties that it seems like most of my friends had finalized and checked off their lists back at 35-36 weeks.
I've spent far too much time being anxious about this kid coming before we're ready. (Although, are you ever ready?!) I'm going to be so fat and happy if I end up going past my due date, and I will of course regret every minute I freaked myself out analyzing early signs of labor!
Most of my pregnancy "buddies" (friends I knew well enough to know they were pregnant before social media did) have now delivered, which blows my mind. Now that I am not working two jobs, I've had a few days to actually sit and think more about how our reality is about to totally change.
Pregnancy hasn't looked like I thought it would, but I don't mean that in a bad way. Seriously, growing up I used to stuff a pillowcase under my shirt and imagine what it would be like to be pregnant. Even in the past few years, I've looked pregnant co-workers, looked at myself, and been completely unable to fathom a pregnant body. In reality, it doesn't feel like an out-of-body experience at all. Sure, I've reached the point where I absolutely cannot bend at the waist, and yeah I get tired an uncomfortable more easily, but I still feel like me. Especially when I'm laying in bed in the morning, I forget anything is different! (Then, of course, baby squeezes my bladder and I try to roll over and I remember my ab muscles are no longer functioning.)
I thought I'd be miserable physically, but the mental aspect is what has really thrown me for a loop. I think first trimester was the worst in terms of irrational freakouts, but that's not to say I've been entirely sane since then. I find myself very possessive of this baby. I keep thinking pregnancy is all about me, and feeling sorry for myself when it's not. I'm starting to realize that it's about to not be about me at all. (And I'm realizing it plenty well on my own without the horror stories that other people tell me about life never being the same, thankyouverymuch.)
I have friends who talk about other people calling their babies "my baby" and the thought of someone else calling MY baby theirs, makes me break out in a cold sweat. I'm not saying it's right, but it is how I feel. Every time I find myself snidely and self-righteously thinking, it's not about you, I have to remind myself, it's not about me either. This kid is about to be his own entity, independent of me. I completely anticipate that the first and hardest (and most enduring) lesson of parenting will be the realization that I'm not in control. And, as with all of those hard lessons, it will be good. But man, I'm not looking forward to that particular challenge.
Physically, we're still chugging along. Sore hips are my only real complaint, as well as a sore lower back on the days I don't wear my support hose (WOW those were a good investment. I'd be miserable without them!) Getting bigger by the day, of course! I have noticed in the past week or so that occasional nausea as well as aversions to coffee, chocolate, and nut butter have crept back in, reminiscent of the first trimester. But I'm still enjoying being pregnant and not ready for it to end yet!
Also, being full term means delivering a full-term sized baby! Gulp. So I still need to psyche myself up for that. Ross asked what I wanted for a "push present," and I told him in 100% honesty that a healthy baby is more than enough motivation!
Also, outtakes:
Next week I hope to have time/wherewithal/access to my belongings to pack a hospital bag! I feel like a terrible hypocrite and procrastinator given my line of work and the fact that I'm always encouraging parents to get stuff done sooner rather than later. The NICU nurse in me felt like I was living on the edge (not in a good way) entering 37 weeks without a packed hospital bag or a childbirth class under my belt. Without a crib mattress, let alone a "nursery." Without so many of the little "necessities" and niceties that it seems like most of my friends had finalized and checked off their lists back at 35-36 weeks.
I've spent far too much time being anxious about this kid coming before we're ready. (Although, are you ever ready?!) I'm going to be so fat and happy if I end up going past my due date, and I will of course regret every minute I freaked myself out analyzing early signs of labor!
Most of my pregnancy "buddies" (friends I knew well enough to know they were pregnant before social media did) have now delivered, which blows my mind. Now that I am not working two jobs, I've had a few days to actually sit and think more about how our reality is about to totally change.
Pregnancy hasn't looked like I thought it would, but I don't mean that in a bad way. Seriously, growing up I used to stuff a pillowcase under my shirt and imagine what it would be like to be pregnant. Even in the past few years, I've looked pregnant co-workers, looked at myself, and been completely unable to fathom a pregnant body. In reality, it doesn't feel like an out-of-body experience at all. Sure, I've reached the point where I absolutely cannot bend at the waist, and yeah I get tired an uncomfortable more easily, but I still feel like me. Especially when I'm laying in bed in the morning, I forget anything is different! (Then, of course, baby squeezes my bladder and I try to roll over and I remember my ab muscles are no longer functioning.)
I thought I'd be miserable physically, but the mental aspect is what has really thrown me for a loop. I think first trimester was the worst in terms of irrational freakouts, but that's not to say I've been entirely sane since then. I find myself very possessive of this baby. I keep thinking pregnancy is all about me, and feeling sorry for myself when it's not. I'm starting to realize that it's about to not be about me at all. (And I'm realizing it plenty well on my own without the horror stories that other people tell me about life never being the same, thankyouverymuch.)
I have friends who talk about other people calling their babies "my baby" and the thought of someone else calling MY baby theirs, makes me break out in a cold sweat. I'm not saying it's right, but it is how I feel. Every time I find myself snidely and self-righteously thinking, it's not about you, I have to remind myself, it's not about me either. This kid is about to be his own entity, independent of me. I completely anticipate that the first and hardest (and most enduring) lesson of parenting will be the realization that I'm not in control. And, as with all of those hard lessons, it will be good. But man, I'm not looking forward to that particular challenge.
Physically, we're still chugging along. Sore hips are my only real complaint, as well as a sore lower back on the days I don't wear my support hose (WOW those were a good investment. I'd be miserable without them!) Getting bigger by the day, of course! I have noticed in the past week or so that occasional nausea as well as aversions to coffee, chocolate, and nut butter have crept back in, reminiscent of the first trimester. But I'm still enjoying being pregnant and not ready for it to end yet!
Also, being full term means delivering a full-term sized baby! Gulp. So I still need to psyche myself up for that. Ross asked what I wanted for a "push present," and I told him in 100% honesty that a healthy baby is more than enough motivation!
Also, outtakes:
Friday, May 23, 2014
37 weeks
Dear Baby Boy,
Time is simply flying as we (by we, I really mean Ross because I simply cannot bend at the waist or get up and down off the floor repeatedly anymore) try to cram in as much house work as possible before you get here. We want a safe, happy, and functional house to bring you home to. In part because we've simply been so busy, I cannot believe that your arrival is imminent. I mean, it could technically be as much as 5 weeks away, but I doubt you'll be two weeks overdue (famous last words?).
I have loved being pregnant with you, although I struggle with how to grasp the fleeting reality of this time. Honestly at this point I'm fine if you make it to your due date or beyond, because that means more time with you squirming away inside of me. September seems like YEARS ago, and I can't believe we've been inseparable all this time. You've been with me during a complete whirlwind of a season. Just when I think life can't get more chaotic, it does! In last 8.5 months, you've been with me as I underwent the stress of starting not just one, but two new jobs simultaneously. We lost Grandma Ginny over the course of one long, sleepless, emotional week. We bought a house. Said house turned out to be a POS. Moving time came right about the same time that pregnancy started getting uncomfortable. We lived at Tommy's house for three weeks, and at Aunt Theresa's house for a week. We moved into a construction-zone house. We've eaten takeout, sandwiches, and otherwise non-homemade food for the past two months and for that I am MOST sincerely sorry. It doesn't make my stomach feel good and I don't like that I'm not feeding you fruit or vegetables on a regular basis. I hope eating crappy food doesn't make you feel crappy, too! Believe me, I'm just as tired of it as you are!
I hate that you seem to be really active in the afternoons when I'm at work, and I have to push you out of my ribcage and keep working, instead of being able to sit back and enjoy your squirming. I want to memorize all of your kicks and hiccups and twists and turns.
I want to remember how your favorite position seems to be with your back facing my right side. I always feel lopsided, but I love seeing your feet occasionally pop out to the left of my belly button. I can often feel your left leg, as well, and I find myself scrutinizing its circumference, praying you've not yet reached Michelin Man proportions. I also think it's hilarious that when I lovingly pat your butt, you turn away from me. Maybe I'm about to get payback for the decades I've spent shrugging off my mom's hugs and wiping off my grandma's kisses. *sigh*
In the last few weeks, I've rediscovered my love for swimming and being weightless in the pool is the BEST THING EVER. I hope you love the water as much as I do!
At today's checkup, the midwife told me, you have great abdominal tone for being 37 weeks pregnant! I was all like, oh, thanks! And then she went on to say, buuut that actually means you could be hiding a deceptively large baby in there since your muscle tone is still holding so much in. Um. Please no. Full-term labor is now a reality... this means you won't be the size of the 4-5 pound babies I'm used to in the NICU. Don't get me wrong: full-termed and developed is exactly what we want! Just... 7+ pounds seems like a lot sometimes.
Forget those silly fruit and vegetable comparisons. There's no denying now that you're the size of a BABY now. When you move, I can feel it from all angles. Even your hiccups are big enough to see across much of my belly, and not just where your back is. Speaking of your back, last weekend you turned briefly so your back was curved out with my belly and when I held my breath, we could actually see you taking a few consistent practice breaths. It was so bizarre and completely non-replicable, but really fun to see from the outside and not just on ultrasound. You're so strong!
Your movements started to diminish toward the end of the week, which I hear is normal since you're running out of room. But the midwife did an NST just in case, since we were going into a long holiday weekend. You were asleep for the first ten minutes, but some cold apple juice woke you right up and you started partying away! I was able to push the "movement" button tons of times, and it was reassuring to hear you swooshing around even when I couldn't feel any motion (darn anterior placenta). You had a good number of textbook accelerations and Ross and I were so proud of you. It was fun sitting there with nothing to do but pay attention to you and hear your heartbeat going up and down and louder and quieter in the background. (Also so surreal since I've put countless people on that monitor myself... this time it was my turn!)
All in all, I'm really enjoying being pregnant with you. Thank you for going with the flow! I'm hoping you come one one resilient baby after everything we've been through. Sorry if you're feeling any of my stress second-hand! We are so excited (also terrified) to meet you and to realize that you're REAL. That being said, feel free to stay in until your due date. We think it'd be kind of cool if you were born on Friday the 13th. No matter when you come, though, we will be here with huge smiles ready to squeeze you and love you!
Love,
yo mama
Time is simply flying as we (by we, I really mean Ross because I simply cannot bend at the waist or get up and down off the floor repeatedly anymore) try to cram in as much house work as possible before you get here. We want a safe, happy, and functional house to bring you home to. In part because we've simply been so busy, I cannot believe that your arrival is imminent. I mean, it could technically be as much as 5 weeks away, but I doubt you'll be two weeks overdue (famous last words?).
I have loved being pregnant with you, although I struggle with how to grasp the fleeting reality of this time. Honestly at this point I'm fine if you make it to your due date or beyond, because that means more time with you squirming away inside of me. September seems like YEARS ago, and I can't believe we've been inseparable all this time. You've been with me during a complete whirlwind of a season. Just when I think life can't get more chaotic, it does! In last 8.5 months, you've been with me as I underwent the stress of starting not just one, but two new jobs simultaneously. We lost Grandma Ginny over the course of one long, sleepless, emotional week. We bought a house. Said house turned out to be a POS. Moving time came right about the same time that pregnancy started getting uncomfortable. We lived at Tommy's house for three weeks, and at Aunt Theresa's house for a week. We moved into a construction-zone house. We've eaten takeout, sandwiches, and otherwise non-homemade food for the past two months and for that I am MOST sincerely sorry. It doesn't make my stomach feel good and I don't like that I'm not feeding you fruit or vegetables on a regular basis. I hope eating crappy food doesn't make you feel crappy, too! Believe me, I'm just as tired of it as you are!
I hate that you seem to be really active in the afternoons when I'm at work, and I have to push you out of my ribcage and keep working, instead of being able to sit back and enjoy your squirming. I want to memorize all of your kicks and hiccups and twists and turns.
I want to remember how your favorite position seems to be with your back facing my right side. I always feel lopsided, but I love seeing your feet occasionally pop out to the left of my belly button. I can often feel your left leg, as well, and I find myself scrutinizing its circumference, praying you've not yet reached Michelin Man proportions. I also think it's hilarious that when I lovingly pat your butt, you turn away from me. Maybe I'm about to get payback for the decades I've spent shrugging off my mom's hugs and wiping off my grandma's kisses. *sigh*
In the last few weeks, I've rediscovered my love for swimming and being weightless in the pool is the BEST THING EVER. I hope you love the water as much as I do!
At today's checkup, the midwife told me, you have great abdominal tone for being 37 weeks pregnant! I was all like, oh, thanks! And then she went on to say, buuut that actually means you could be hiding a deceptively large baby in there since your muscle tone is still holding so much in. Um. Please no. Full-term labor is now a reality... this means you won't be the size of the 4-5 pound babies I'm used to in the NICU. Don't get me wrong: full-termed and developed is exactly what we want! Just... 7+ pounds seems like a lot sometimes.
Forget those silly fruit and vegetable comparisons. There's no denying now that you're the size of a BABY now. When you move, I can feel it from all angles. Even your hiccups are big enough to see across much of my belly, and not just where your back is. Speaking of your back, last weekend you turned briefly so your back was curved out with my belly and when I held my breath, we could actually see you taking a few consistent practice breaths. It was so bizarre and completely non-replicable, but really fun to see from the outside and not just on ultrasound. You're so strong!
Your movements started to diminish toward the end of the week, which I hear is normal since you're running out of room. But the midwife did an NST just in case, since we were going into a long holiday weekend. You were asleep for the first ten minutes, but some cold apple juice woke you right up and you started partying away! I was able to push the "movement" button tons of times, and it was reassuring to hear you swooshing around even when I couldn't feel any motion (darn anterior placenta). You had a good number of textbook accelerations and Ross and I were so proud of you. It was fun sitting there with nothing to do but pay attention to you and hear your heartbeat going up and down and louder and quieter in the background. (Also so surreal since I've put countless people on that monitor myself... this time it was my turn!)
All in all, I'm really enjoying being pregnant with you. Thank you for going with the flow! I'm hoping you come one one resilient baby after everything we've been through. Sorry if you're feeling any of my stress second-hand! We are so excited (also terrified) to meet you and to realize that you're REAL. That being said, feel free to stay in until your due date. We think it'd be kind of cool if you were born on Friday the 13th. No matter when you come, though, we will be here with huge smiles ready to squeeze you and love you!
Love,
yo mama
Friday, May 16, 2014
36 Weeks and Other Milestones
Wohoo! Today marks a big milestone: if baby was born today, he wouldn't have an automatic ticket to the NICU. However, since he is unfortunately a white male (dare I use the NICU term "wimpy white boy") I'd be thrilled if he stays put for another 4 weeks! And all jokes about my brother's wedding aside, there don't seem to be any signs of impending labor, thank goodness. I plan to be there large and in charge in my bridesmaid's dress two weeks from now!
This week actually marked several other milestones as well: my "first" Mother's Day was on Sunday, and while I feel silly claiming the title until I've gone through the Ultimate Test (aka labor), Ross was still sweet and bought me a few simple gifts: he snuck out to buy me a vegetable juice in the morning before church (because vegetables are seriously lacking when you're living out of a suitcase... and because he hopes our kids get my tastebuds); then he gave me a few tomato cages for the seedlings my mom graciously bought for us (I've been working every Saturday and haven't been able to get to the farmer's market); he also reserved the latest Bill Bryson book at the library, stating he hopes our kids get my love of reading. It was sweet.
We also got to go to brunch with my parents and my brother Tommy, which was extra nice because I'm not sure of the last time I actually got to see my mom on Mother's Day.
Then Tuesday marked ONE MONTH UNTIL HIS DUE DATE. Which is simply not possible. Tuesday we also "moved into" our "house."
Let's be honest, it's still only half done but Ross set up the bedroom and hooked up the washer and dryer, so its livable. We were ready to sleep in our own bed and have all our belongings in one place after a month of couch-surfing! But to be honest my stress levels haven't really gone down yet. There's a LOT left to do.
Until this week, I'd been cruising along with these house renovations. Okay, maybe not cruising, but staying pretty busy. Wearing myself out. But this week, my belly is just too big. My hips are just too sore. It felt good to go to my Midwife appointment today (I've been going weekly since 34 weeks) and hear her say, "stop making yourself miserable!"
So while our to-do list is still a mile long, I'm going to try my best to limit the manual labor since I'm already on my feet all day at work. I'm also going to try to take one day of complete rest each week (no errands or stress-inducing activities). Sure, I'd LOVE to be nesting and getting the nursery ready and washing baby clothes, but we're not there yet. And I feel like even me busting my butt on my days off won't really get us there much sooner. All I can do is one thing at a time on my to-do list, and keep plugging away at a pace that doesn't make me lose my sanity. (At least I finally met with the pediatrician and got our info into their system.)
The good news is that even though half of our house is still a construction zone, it's livable! We sleep there now, after 25 long nights of living out of a suitcase (yes, totally a first world problem).
The list of "things that still need to get done" probably won't ever end, but at least the pre-baby checklist is getting shorter. What still really needs to happen:
-cabinets needs to be finished, painted, and cleaned
-kitchen countertops need to be ordered and installed
-kitchen and laundry room floors need to be installed
-kitchen and laundry room walls need to be painted (but praise God the drywall plastering, sanding, and priming is DONE in those two rooms! And we did a mighty fine job if I do say so myself.)
What would be nice, but might not be realistic:
-setting up the baby's room
-finishing the drywall in the "ugly bedroom" (the room with plumbing damage and the compromised walls with exposed lead paint that we ended up replacing-- thank you Dad for helping Ross get those walls up so quickly!)
-fixing the bathroom (it works fine, but it's fascinatingly ugly; a different coat of paint and a new shower curtain would do wonders)
-decorating the living room
-replacing the gross linen closet or whatever it's supposed to be in the hallway
Things left to do to prepare for baby? I seriously don't want to think about it. The house needs to be at least semi-finished before I can make a trip to the store for last-minute baby essentials.
...
Wait, this was supposed to be a pregnancy update and not a house update? Am I too fixated on this house? Can you blame me? A pregnant lady can't help but want a safe, comfortable place to bring a baby home to! But.
Craving this week?
-WATER. I seriously drink 5+ liters of water some days because I'm so thirsty.
-Also finally satisfied my PF Chang's craving from... oh... two trimesters ago. Those lettuce wraps were delicious, and for the record the "gluten-free chocolate dome" is a more than reasonable substitute for my once-beloved Great Wall of Chocolate!
Symptoms?
-Pretty regular Braxton-Hicks contractions. But don't get excited! The Midwife confirmed that they're definitely just practice contractions and not the real thing! She said that me overworking myself will make me miserable, but it won't bring on labor, thankfully. (I'm sure most post-date pregnant ladies wish that inducing labor was as easy as scrubbing floors and painting walls and working 12 hour shifts).
-The numb/painful spot on my stomach is still there above my belly button.
-Is waddling a symptom?
-Frequent bathroom breaks (baby "dropping" + 5 liters of water a day will do that).
-Totally messed up sense of balance. I was clumsy before, but it's frightening now. Sometimes I'll get extremely lightheaded out of the blue and feel like passing out. Other times, I'll lose my balance and trip over nothing. The other day I fell completely to the ground simply while walking around in bare feet. And I'm starting to roll my ankles in my sensible work shoes. Ouch. A constantly shifting center of gravity + extremely loose joints isn't the best combination.
How's baby?
Still head down, thankfully! And he moves so much, which I love. I totally wish I could see what the heck he's doing in there sometimes. I think my favorite is when I feel his arms moving at night when I lay down, and I can imagine him sucking his thumb and soothing himself.
How's mom?
-So very ready for things to calm down so maybe I can focus on pregnancy and baby things while I'm still pregnant. So not ready to be done with pregnancy yet, although I can tell things are going to start getting more uncomfortable. I still love it!
-Swimming has become my favorite exercise. It feels so good to be weightless.
-You know what's starting to stress me out in my extremely tired and vulnerable state? People telling me the baby is going to come early. It used to be funny, but as the due date draws closer, it's no longer entertaining to think about him coming early. It stresses me out when people ask if I think he's going to come even one day before his due date. We will know when he gets here, right? When people ask, it makes me feel like a ticking time bomb-- let's all remember that I actually have a max of 6 weeks left. That's a long time, people! I'm probably going to freak out if people keep asking me if the nursery is done or if I'm having signs of labor, even though I know they're just making conversation.
-Hmmm. I may also be hormonal and emotionally labile at this point...
This week actually marked several other milestones as well: my "first" Mother's Day was on Sunday, and while I feel silly claiming the title until I've gone through the Ultimate Test (aka labor), Ross was still sweet and bought me a few simple gifts: he snuck out to buy me a vegetable juice in the morning before church (because vegetables are seriously lacking when you're living out of a suitcase... and because he hopes our kids get my tastebuds); then he gave me a few tomato cages for the seedlings my mom graciously bought for us (I've been working every Saturday and haven't been able to get to the farmer's market); he also reserved the latest Bill Bryson book at the library, stating he hopes our kids get my love of reading. It was sweet.
We also got to go to brunch with my parents and my brother Tommy, which was extra nice because I'm not sure of the last time I actually got to see my mom on Mother's Day.
Then Tuesday marked ONE MONTH UNTIL HIS DUE DATE. Which is simply not possible. Tuesday we also "moved into" our "house."
Let's be honest, it's still only half done but Ross set up the bedroom and hooked up the washer and dryer, so its livable. We were ready to sleep in our own bed and have all our belongings in one place after a month of couch-surfing! But to be honest my stress levels haven't really gone down yet. There's a LOT left to do.
Until this week, I'd been cruising along with these house renovations. Okay, maybe not cruising, but staying pretty busy. Wearing myself out. But this week, my belly is just too big. My hips are just too sore. It felt good to go to my Midwife appointment today (I've been going weekly since 34 weeks) and hear her say, "stop making yourself miserable!"
So while our to-do list is still a mile long, I'm going to try my best to limit the manual labor since I'm already on my feet all day at work. I'm also going to try to take one day of complete rest each week (no errands or stress-inducing activities). Sure, I'd LOVE to be nesting and getting the nursery ready and washing baby clothes, but we're not there yet. And I feel like even me busting my butt on my days off won't really get us there much sooner. All I can do is one thing at a time on my to-do list, and keep plugging away at a pace that doesn't make me lose my sanity. (At least I finally met with the pediatrician and got our info into their system.)
The good news is that even though half of our house is still a construction zone, it's livable! We sleep there now, after 25 long nights of living out of a suitcase (yes, totally a first world problem).
The list of "things that still need to get done" probably won't ever end, but at least the pre-baby checklist is getting shorter. What still really needs to happen:
-cabinets needs to be finished, painted, and cleaned
-kitchen countertops need to be ordered and installed
-kitchen and laundry room floors need to be installed
-kitchen and laundry room walls need to be painted (but praise God the drywall plastering, sanding, and priming is DONE in those two rooms! And we did a mighty fine job if I do say so myself.)
What would be nice, but might not be realistic:
-setting up the baby's room
-finishing the drywall in the "ugly bedroom" (the room with plumbing damage and the compromised walls with exposed lead paint that we ended up replacing-- thank you Dad for helping Ross get those walls up so quickly!)
-fixing the bathroom (it works fine, but it's fascinatingly ugly; a different coat of paint and a new shower curtain would do wonders)
-decorating the living room
-replacing the gross linen closet or whatever it's supposed to be in the hallway
Things left to do to prepare for baby? I seriously don't want to think about it. The house needs to be at least semi-finished before I can make a trip to the store for last-minute baby essentials.
...
Wait, this was supposed to be a pregnancy update and not a house update? Am I too fixated on this house? Can you blame me? A pregnant lady can't help but want a safe, comfortable place to bring a baby home to! But.
Craving this week?
-WATER. I seriously drink 5+ liters of water some days because I'm so thirsty.
-Also finally satisfied my PF Chang's craving from... oh... two trimesters ago. Those lettuce wraps were delicious, and for the record the "gluten-free chocolate dome" is a more than reasonable substitute for my once-beloved Great Wall of Chocolate!
Symptoms?
-Pretty regular Braxton-Hicks contractions. But don't get excited! The Midwife confirmed that they're definitely just practice contractions and not the real thing! She said that me overworking myself will make me miserable, but it won't bring on labor, thankfully. (I'm sure most post-date pregnant ladies wish that inducing labor was as easy as scrubbing floors and painting walls and working 12 hour shifts).
-The numb/painful spot on my stomach is still there above my belly button.
-Is waddling a symptom?
-Frequent bathroom breaks (baby "dropping" + 5 liters of water a day will do that).
-Totally messed up sense of balance. I was clumsy before, but it's frightening now. Sometimes I'll get extremely lightheaded out of the blue and feel like passing out. Other times, I'll lose my balance and trip over nothing. The other day I fell completely to the ground simply while walking around in bare feet. And I'm starting to roll my ankles in my sensible work shoes. Ouch. A constantly shifting center of gravity + extremely loose joints isn't the best combination.
How's baby?
Still head down, thankfully! And he moves so much, which I love. I totally wish I could see what the heck he's doing in there sometimes. I think my favorite is when I feel his arms moving at night when I lay down, and I can imagine him sucking his thumb and soothing himself.
How's mom?
-So very ready for things to calm down so maybe I can focus on pregnancy and baby things while I'm still pregnant. So not ready to be done with pregnancy yet, although I can tell things are going to start getting more uncomfortable. I still love it!
-Swimming has become my favorite exercise. It feels so good to be weightless.
-You know what's starting to stress me out in my extremely tired and vulnerable state? People telling me the baby is going to come early. It used to be funny, but as the due date draws closer, it's no longer entertaining to think about him coming early. It stresses me out when people ask if I think he's going to come even one day before his due date. We will know when he gets here, right? When people ask, it makes me feel like a ticking time bomb-- let's all remember that I actually have a max of 6 weeks left. That's a long time, people! I'm probably going to freak out if people keep asking me if the nursery is done or if I'm having signs of labor, even though I know they're just making conversation.
-Hmmm. I may also be hormonal and emotionally labile at this point...
Friday, May 9, 2014
35 weeks and feeling good
I started off with a weekend of trying to flip the baby: ice on my
stomach, downward dog, headstand, swim laps, handstand in the pool. By
Sunday night I felt more limb movement at the top of my stomach again,
but it also still didn't feel like he was head down.
I also did tons of housework this week. We can at least see the light at the end of the tunnel! I'm feeling rushed because I'm moving slower with every passing week. Must get things done while I still can!
I decided to use a pregnancy survey this week instead of my usual train-of-thought babbling. I can't believe how quickly time is passing and I want to remember all of this!
How far along? 35 weeks pregnant today. 35 days left until my due date! (absolutely crazy!)
Weight gain: Uhhh it greatly depends on the time of day, but it's safe to say I've gained at least 26-28 pounds. Perfectly normal considering I'm supposed to gain 25-35 pounds based on my pre-pregnancy weight. My weight stalled out for a while there between 28-32 weeks, but has picked up rapidly in the last few weeks! The baby alone is gaining up to half a pound per week at this point.
It's funny because I'm bigger than ever, but I am finally comfortable with it. I love being pregnant right now! I feel like my belly is going to pop sometimes, but it's so fun to watch it grow. And to be totally vain, I feel like it's big enough to pull some of my back fat forward and smooth things out. It's also big enough that my legs are starting to look skinny in comparison! Hey, just being real.
Stretch marks? Shockingly none yet. I do have some from a growth spurt between 8th grade and high school, so I'm assuming more will pop up eventually. For now, though, slathering on the almond oil every night seems to help. If nothing else, my skin is super moisturized!
Sleep: I struggled on and off with early morning insomnia for a while there, but lately I've been sleeping like a rock between bathroom breaks! I very rarely wake up hungry like I did during the first trimester, but I'm definitely thirsty when I get up to go to the bathroom once or twice. Overall I think I'm so physically exhausted from the days I do work on the house that sleep thankfully isn't an issue right now! (Although I'd like to stop going to bed after 11pm. I'm sleeping well, just not long enough due to our schedules right now!)
Best moment of the week: Tuesday night, the baby was kicking directly outward and making all sorts of hilarious shapes in my stomach. I could tell it was a foot pressing out every time, which was awesome. But hands down the best moment was the bedside ultrasound that the Midwife did at my appointment Wednesday to confirm that baby was no longer breech! He'd been head down for months but then flipped last Thursday and really freaked me out. I spent the weekend doing all the things they tell you to do for breech babies: go swimming, do handstands, put ice on the baby's head, sit in an inverted posture for a while... something must've worked because early in the week I started feeling kicks to the side and top of my stomach again. I'm so thankful to know that the little movements I feel down low now are just his hands and arms, which aren't so little anymore! He was sucking his thumb on the ultrasound and his fingers are getting chubby! He's really folded up in there, but my fluid levels looked good and baby was opening his eyes and practicing breathing. I'm officially in love.
I didn't even realize I'd been holding my breath until that day. I have been maintaining my distance emotionally. Why? Partly because I think with your first kid, it's hard to fathom just how drastically your life is about to change; partly because I'm so distracted by this stinkin' house; and partly out of fear that something will still go wrong. Late miscarriage and stillbirth still scare me. But after I hit 34 weeks, I noticed I started to believe this might actually just happen. He might be born healthy. It might just be real, and not too good to be true. I bought some baby clothes this week for the first time this pregnancy because I suddenly realized oh crap, this kid is actually real and he's going to need something to wear when he comes out. So it's been a fun mental transition and the ultrasound just made me even more excited to meet him in person!
Miss anything? Nah. I believe in everything in moderation (except the obvious things like cocaine), so I've been cautious but not ridiculous with food restrictions and all that. I miss working out more than 1-2 times a week, but that's more a product of my schedule right now than anything else. I'm by no means over pregnancy yet, and as excited as I am to meet him, I'm in no rush for him to come out. I'm still enjoying feeling him move all day long, and if anything I'm preemptively worrying about missing being pregnant!
Movement: I still don't feel it all day every day, thanks to an anterior placenta, but I certainly feel lots of movement. It was nice to know my intuition was right last week when he flipped himself into a complete breech position, and it's equally nice to know that his little butt is right back where it was... crammed beneath my right ribcage.
Cravings? It's been quite a while since I've had OMG pregnancy cravings. I really enjoyed leftover jam teff cookies last week, but I wouldn't call it a craving. Most of those seem to have been limited to the first trimester when not much sounded good. I think overall the cravings that have characterized this pregnancy have been Lulu's Thai food, sushi, and grapefruit. Strawberry jam, fresh pineapple, watermelon, and fresh berries would be next. All of these things always sound good!
Aversions? On the nights I'm nauseated, nothing sounds particularly good, but I don't have any true aversions to any one thing in particular.
Symptoms: Nausea and heartburn haven't been as bad since I got my massage last week, but they still pop up if I'm not careful if/when/how much I eat. Otherwise, in the last few weeks I've noticed skin tags (who knew that was a pregnancy symptom?), hair loss (my thyroid is fine, so my midwife things it's stress. Hair loss isn't supposed to come until postpartum!), and occasional waddling now that baby is head down again. Also, I have a numb/tingly spot on my stomach that comes and goes! It popped up unexpectedly over the weekend and it was a good reminder that things could always be worse. Overall I don't have many symptoms to complain about, but I'm aware that could change at any moment.
Signs of labor? Thankfully none! I do have Braxton-Hicks contractions all day long, but the painful contractions I had while we were packing and moving seem to be backing off for now.
Belly button in or out? It was a solid innie pre-pregnancy, but it's been out since about 15 weeks. Ridiculous! I think it's because I had an umbilical hernia when I was a kid and the muscle is just weaker there.
Wedding rings on or off? On. They've always been kind of loose, so thankfully they still fit. The fit seems to change with my temperature more than with my weight gain, but that's not new.
Happy or moody? Last week might best be defined as panicky. This week, thanks to good baby news, house progress, and sunshine, I'm feeling pretty happy!
Looking forward to: Moving into our own house! The nomadic lifestyle is not for me.
I also did tons of housework this week. We can at least see the light at the end of the tunnel! I'm feeling rushed because I'm moving slower with every passing week. Must get things done while I still can!
I decided to use a pregnancy survey this week instead of my usual train-of-thought babbling. I can't believe how quickly time is passing and I want to remember all of this!
How far along? 35 weeks pregnant today. 35 days left until my due date! (absolutely crazy!)
Weight gain: Uhhh it greatly depends on the time of day, but it's safe to say I've gained at least 26-28 pounds. Perfectly normal considering I'm supposed to gain 25-35 pounds based on my pre-pregnancy weight. My weight stalled out for a while there between 28-32 weeks, but has picked up rapidly in the last few weeks! The baby alone is gaining up to half a pound per week at this point.
It's funny because I'm bigger than ever, but I am finally comfortable with it. I love being pregnant right now! I feel like my belly is going to pop sometimes, but it's so fun to watch it grow. And to be totally vain, I feel like it's big enough to pull some of my back fat forward and smooth things out. It's also big enough that my legs are starting to look skinny in comparison! Hey, just being real.
Stretch marks? Shockingly none yet. I do have some from a growth spurt between 8th grade and high school, so I'm assuming more will pop up eventually. For now, though, slathering on the almond oil every night seems to help. If nothing else, my skin is super moisturized!
Sleep: I struggled on and off with early morning insomnia for a while there, but lately I've been sleeping like a rock between bathroom breaks! I very rarely wake up hungry like I did during the first trimester, but I'm definitely thirsty when I get up to go to the bathroom once or twice. Overall I think I'm so physically exhausted from the days I do work on the house that sleep thankfully isn't an issue right now! (Although I'd like to stop going to bed after 11pm. I'm sleeping well, just not long enough due to our schedules right now!)
Best moment of the week: Tuesday night, the baby was kicking directly outward and making all sorts of hilarious shapes in my stomach. I could tell it was a foot pressing out every time, which was awesome. But hands down the best moment was the bedside ultrasound that the Midwife did at my appointment Wednesday to confirm that baby was no longer breech! He'd been head down for months but then flipped last Thursday and really freaked me out. I spent the weekend doing all the things they tell you to do for breech babies: go swimming, do handstands, put ice on the baby's head, sit in an inverted posture for a while... something must've worked because early in the week I started feeling kicks to the side and top of my stomach again. I'm so thankful to know that the little movements I feel down low now are just his hands and arms, which aren't so little anymore! He was sucking his thumb on the ultrasound and his fingers are getting chubby! He's really folded up in there, but my fluid levels looked good and baby was opening his eyes and practicing breathing. I'm officially in love.
 |
| (doctor's office selfie-- so excited to have a belly!) |
I didn't even realize I'd been holding my breath until that day. I have been maintaining my distance emotionally. Why? Partly because I think with your first kid, it's hard to fathom just how drastically your life is about to change; partly because I'm so distracted by this stinkin' house; and partly out of fear that something will still go wrong. Late miscarriage and stillbirth still scare me. But after I hit 34 weeks, I noticed I started to believe this might actually just happen. He might be born healthy. It might just be real, and not too good to be true. I bought some baby clothes this week for the first time this pregnancy because I suddenly realized oh crap, this kid is actually real and he's going to need something to wear when he comes out. So it's been a fun mental transition and the ultrasound just made me even more excited to meet him in person!
Miss anything? Nah. I believe in everything in moderation (except the obvious things like cocaine), so I've been cautious but not ridiculous with food restrictions and all that. I miss working out more than 1-2 times a week, but that's more a product of my schedule right now than anything else. I'm by no means over pregnancy yet, and as excited as I am to meet him, I'm in no rush for him to come out. I'm still enjoying feeling him move all day long, and if anything I'm preemptively worrying about missing being pregnant!
 |
| (entryway selfie at my brother's house after Body Pump) |
Movement: I still don't feel it all day every day, thanks to an anterior placenta, but I certainly feel lots of movement. It was nice to know my intuition was right last week when he flipped himself into a complete breech position, and it's equally nice to know that his little butt is right back where it was... crammed beneath my right ribcage.
Cravings? It's been quite a while since I've had OMG pregnancy cravings. I really enjoyed leftover jam teff cookies last week, but I wouldn't call it a craving. Most of those seem to have been limited to the first trimester when not much sounded good. I think overall the cravings that have characterized this pregnancy have been Lulu's Thai food, sushi, and grapefruit. Strawberry jam, fresh pineapple, watermelon, and fresh berries would be next. All of these things always sound good!
Aversions? On the nights I'm nauseated, nothing sounds particularly good, but I don't have any true aversions to any one thing in particular.
Symptoms: Nausea and heartburn haven't been as bad since I got my massage last week, but they still pop up if I'm not careful if/when/how much I eat. Otherwise, in the last few weeks I've noticed skin tags (who knew that was a pregnancy symptom?), hair loss (my thyroid is fine, so my midwife things it's stress. Hair loss isn't supposed to come until postpartum!), and occasional waddling now that baby is head down again. Also, I have a numb/tingly spot on my stomach that comes and goes! It popped up unexpectedly over the weekend and it was a good reminder that things could always be worse. Overall I don't have many symptoms to complain about, but I'm aware that could change at any moment.
Signs of labor? Thankfully none! I do have Braxton-Hicks contractions all day long, but the painful contractions I had while we were packing and moving seem to be backing off for now.
Belly button in or out? It was a solid innie pre-pregnancy, but it's been out since about 15 weeks. Ridiculous! I think it's because I had an umbilical hernia when I was a kid and the muscle is just weaker there.
 |
| (taken in a spare bedroom at my brother's house... suburbia started to look reeeeeally good while we were there) |
Happy or moody? Last week might best be defined as panicky. This week, thanks to good baby news, house progress, and sunshine, I'm feeling pretty happy!
Looking forward to: Moving into our own house! The nomadic lifestyle is not for me.
Friday, May 2, 2014
34 Weeks
Welp, our 34th week went by in one crazy blur of work and renovations, and ended with an emotional breakdown. It started off on a wonderful note, though, with my family baby shower in Omaha. It was book-themed and so sweet that it really deserves its own post. And the leftover cake and jam cookies certainly contributed to this week's weight gain :-)
Speaking of weight gain, I feel really and truly pregnant all the time now. I know I'm just going to get bigger, but it's still so surreal to see my belly in the mirror and connect it with the fact that it's actually me I'm seeing! (I'm soooo used to seeing other women as the pregnant ones, I think). The baby is officially taking up all the vertical real estate he can get and he's having to expand horizontally now. It's all happening so rapidly! So weird that I barely grew for the first 20 weeks and now I'm growing daily! Sometimes it feels like baby's projected half pound weekly weight gain happens overnight.
Still struggling to get veggies and real meals in. I'm so very tired of living out of a suitcase and being on the go so much. I'm definitely exhausted, but it's hard to know if that's pregnancy, or life chaos and the physical work of renovation, or both. Same with the return of nausea and heartburn this week.
Cramps and hip pain picked up again as well and I was definitely waddling uncomfortably until I splurged on a massage Thursday. Problem is, baby might've liked the massage a little too much. He was squirming like crazy Thursday night and Friday morning, something was different. He was sitting higher. I distinctly felt painful kicks to my bladder. Hiccups were in a different place. I left work that morning saying, "I really hope the Midwife doesn't tell me he's breech today." But sure enough, she did. He was completely breech with his feet tucked beneath him and his head beneath my ribs.
I came back to my brother's house (where we're staying right now) and bawled. Everything just seemed to hit me at once and I was really freaking out. Not even so much about the baby or about the risk of a c-section, or any one thing in particular. Just all of it combined felt very heavy all of a sudden. Thankfully Ross just listened to me sob and we made plans to have a date night Saturday and get away from all the stress for a bit. I'm so grateful we're doing this together!
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| yummy gluten free cake for all! |
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| my friend Tina is due 2-3 weeks before me! |
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| baby! |
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| never-ending house work |
I came back to my brother's house (where we're staying right now) and bawled. Everything just seemed to hit me at once and I was really freaking out. Not even so much about the baby or about the risk of a c-section, or any one thing in particular. Just all of it combined felt very heavy all of a sudden. Thankfully Ross just listened to me sob and we made plans to have a date night Saturday and get away from all the stress for a bit. I'm so grateful we're doing this together!
Friday, April 25, 2014
32 weeks and 33 weeks: Ready or not...
32 Weeks
This week FLEW by. I don't even know what to report pregnancy-wise. Things have been more or less status quo compared to last week. What consumed my mind, my time, and my energy this week was moving.
Major thanks to my mom for helping us pack the apartment! No joke, she probably packed about 2/3 of it (maybe more). I don't know what I would've done without her. I was working hard, and exhausted at the end of the day, but moving so slowly in comparison! We never would've been out of the apartment on time if it weren't for her.
We did hire movers as well, which made me feel so spoiled. But this is our third 3rd story apartment and since I'm basically out of commission when it comes to heavy boxes right now, I knew we needed help this time around. (I can't hug the big boxes to my torso to lift them anymore. Somethingone is in the way!) The movers came Friday to move the majority of our stuff, and I busted my butt to finish packing before they came. Then I organized our stuff for quick loading since we paid by the hour (maybe nesting is kicking in after all, but I just don't have the energy for it).
Then I beat the movers to the house and scrubbed the floors in two of the bedrooms for them to have somewhere relatively dust-free to put all of our belongings! (Also, nothing like moving to remind you that you have WAY too much stuff.) I was going non-stop on Friday with the exception of a one-hour break around noon to catch my breath. I paid for it dearly with lots of contractions and a headache and hip pain by that night. And tears. Oops.
33 weeks
To say that I've been steamrolled by this move would be an understatement. I feel a little guilty that the move feels like it's taking more of a physical and emotional precedence than the baby right now. When people ask if the baby's room is ready, I want to cry. Our HOUSE isn't ready! No I'm not nesting or painting or folding cute little baby clothes! I'm trying to figure out where we're going to live until our house is safe to inhabit. (Thankfully my brother volunteered his house).
We had to turn our keys in on Sunday, so we got most of our stuff moved out that Friday and spent Friday and Saturday night on an air mattress at the apartment.
Some massive shift happened physically between 28-32 weeks and I went from feeling more or less like myself, to feeling like I couldn't get anything done, and how on earth is this house going to be ready to live in, and are we going to have any down time to prepare for this baby?! I mentioned I spent last Friday packing the last bit of stuff (which always ends up being more than you think) and moving with the movers. Even though I didn't carry a single box up or down the three flights of stairs leading to our apartment, I was tired and sore to the point of tears that evening.
Watching Ross' face while I cried about not having eating vegetables all week and feeling like I'm not taking care of the baby, embarrassed me. My internal voice (today it was the nurse triage personality from my time in the high-risk OB clinic) had been telling me all day, you need to take it easy. You're having too many painful contractions. Lay down. Drink water. I drank lots of water, but I just didn't feel like I had the luxury of laying down because I wouldn't be able to relax knowing how much stuff has to be done.
Anyway, I felt guilty every time my stomach tightened and by the end of the day, I was worn out physically and emotionally from that on top of the packing and scrubbing floors and walls. My outburst must've left quite an impression because it caused Ross to leave the apartment before I went to work Saturday to buy smoothie ingredients and to pick up a juice and a treat from the Filling Station to go with my breakfast. It was so sweet!
Symptoms-wise, I've already discussed the inability to really push myself in regards to the move and the renovation and keeping up like I used to. I don't feel awful during my normal daily activities, but I can feel it at the end of the day when I've tried to push myself. Otherwise, fatigue is back. Sleep is hit or miss. Nausea and heartburn come and go, but overall they're not terrible. Feels a bit like first trimester again in that regard!
Baby is still head down with his butt on the right, facing the left. I LOVE when he presses something outward and I can get a mental image of an arm or a foot there. Again, SO happy to finally feel pregnant and not just weird and different! I'm already getting nostalgic for the baby bump, but excited for the baby!
This week FLEW by. I don't even know what to report pregnancy-wise. Things have been more or less status quo compared to last week. What consumed my mind, my time, and my energy this week was moving.
 |
| that moment when I realized moving and renovating in the third trimester was an awful idea |
We did hire movers as well, which made me feel so spoiled. But this is our third 3rd story apartment and since I'm basically out of commission when it comes to heavy boxes right now, I knew we needed help this time around. (I can't hug the big boxes to my torso to lift them anymore. Some
Then I beat the movers to the house and scrubbed the floors in two of the bedrooms for them to have somewhere relatively dust-free to put all of our belongings! (Also, nothing like moving to remind you that you have WAY too much stuff.) I was going non-stop on Friday with the exception of a one-hour break around noon to catch my breath. I paid for it dearly with lots of contractions and a headache and hip pain by that night. And tears. Oops.
33 weeks
To say that I've been steamrolled by this move would be an understatement. I feel a little guilty that the move feels like it's taking more of a physical and emotional precedence than the baby right now. When people ask if the baby's room is ready, I want to cry. Our HOUSE isn't ready! No I'm not nesting or painting or folding cute little baby clothes! I'm trying to figure out where we're going to live until our house is safe to inhabit. (Thankfully my brother volunteered his house).
We had to turn our keys in on Sunday, so we got most of our stuff moved out that Friday and spent Friday and Saturday night on an air mattress at the apartment.
 |
| saying a tearful goodbye to apartment 332 |
Watching Ross' face while I cried about not having eating vegetables all week and feeling like I'm not taking care of the baby, embarrassed me. My internal voice (today it was the nurse triage personality from my time in the high-risk OB clinic) had been telling me all day, you need to take it easy. You're having too many painful contractions. Lay down. Drink water. I drank lots of water, but I just didn't feel like I had the luxury of laying down because I wouldn't be able to relax knowing how much stuff has to be done.
Anyway, I felt guilty every time my stomach tightened and by the end of the day, I was worn out physically and emotionally from that on top of the packing and scrubbing floors and walls. My outburst must've left quite an impression because it caused Ross to leave the apartment before I went to work Saturday to buy smoothie ingredients and to pick up a juice and a treat from the Filling Station to go with my breakfast. It was so sweet!
Anyway, this is supposed to be a pregnancy update, not a moving update. I'm SO thankful that I look pregnant now!!! I've become obsessed with taking selfies like, every day. It's embarrassing. But it's not because I think I look super cute (ha)... it's because you can practically see the little baby curned up in there! It's so fun to have a baby bump and it's so weird that it doesn't feel weird! I think it just comes in so gradually that you adjust daily. My mass feels the same, but my stomach sticks way out now when I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror! Also, Ross struggles to pick me up when he hugs me now. Makes me feel better about being out of breath when I walk up the stairs. Gaining a pound a week is no joke!
Symptoms-wise, I've already discussed the inability to really push myself in regards to the move and the renovation and keeping up like I used to. I don't feel awful during my normal daily activities, but I can feel it at the end of the day when I've tried to push myself. Otherwise, fatigue is back. Sleep is hit or miss. Nausea and heartburn come and go, but overall they're not terrible. Feels a bit like first trimester again in that regard!
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| Easter 2014... last holiday with just the two of us |
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