Currently: Change of Seasons

Favorite part of the day: Naptime? We had a busy weekend and I'm craving some down-time. I also worked night shift Monday night and didn't sleep for over 24 hours, so I'm still recovering.

Eating: A gluten-free chocolate crinkle cookie from Dolce Bakery.

Drinking: Decaf coffee. The doctor I saw this spring recommended avoiding caffeine when possible, because it will just continue to stress my adrenals. Even though I only drank it in the morning, it was affecting my sleep at night.

Reading: For fun, I just finished the novel The Highest Tide. It was good, it reminded me of my first love (the ocean), and the character was obsessed with Rachel Carson's work. Which reminds me, I've been wanting to read her books for years! For church small group, we are reading The Voice of the Heart: A Call to Full Living. It's a book about feelings, which sounds weird, but it's really good. For Bible Study Fellowship, I'm reading the book of John. And on top of all of that, I'm slowly working my way through Shauna Niequist's Present Over Perfect.

Listening To: "It is Well" by Kristen DiMarco and Philip Paul Bliss. They sang it a few times at the Women's Conference I went to last week, and I really like it.

Guilty Pleasure: I've been making a lot of trips to Dolce lately since I'm baking less at home.

Wanting: A clean house/no more renovations!

Needing: Umm... same as above?

Loving: Sunshine! The cool mornings are still tolerable because it's t-shirt weather by afternoon. I'm learning that I like fall well enough, but it gets a bad rap in my head because it just means winter is coming.

Thinking: I have so many thoughts in my head right now, and I'm struggling to get them all out in my journal, to my counselor, or on this blog to help me make sense of them.

Feeling: Grateful with a tinge of bittersweet. This time last year, I was pregnant, and right now my arms are empty. It's weird. At the same time, Noah's definitely outgrowing the baby stage, and I miss him needing me so much. It's all emotional!

Missing: Summer! The pool! Our June and July routines!

Exercise: My pain has flared up the past few weeks, but before that I was enjoying the simplicity of the 30 minute workouts via 21-Day Fix. I'm trying to get into Yoga with Adrienne on YouTube even on the days I feel blah, though.

Bane of my Existence: Um... my pain? I'm struggling with some new ways of thinking of it, and the fact that it may indeed be chronic. It's still an overwhelming thought.

Mood: Pensive and anxious.

Link: I'm Pro-Life. And I'm voting for Hillary. Here's Why.

Outfit: It's leggings season!

Looking forward to: This Sunday! We're planning a family day, since things have felt pretty crazy lately.

Currently: 30 Years Old

Favorite part of the day: drinking coffee while Noah crawls around like a crazy man after his breakfast every morning.

Eating: Ever since I got pregnant, I've been averse to a lot of green food. Therefore, I'm eating lots of carbs and meat, but not much in the way of produce. Hoping that changes this summer!

Drinking: For the first time in my life, I am having to force myself to drink enough water. After the insatiable thirst of pregnancy and early breastfeeding days, I forget what normal water intake looks like.

Reading: Still working on the The Boys in the Boat for fun, reading A Praying Life with our Gospel Community, and potentially about to start reading 1,000 Gifts with some other friends.

Listening To: "I Need Jesus" by Nathan Partain is the last song I downloaded, but I haven't been listening to anything on repeat for the last few weeks.

Guilty Pleasure: Watching a show on my laptop before bed. I finally quit my nighttime pumping session last week (!!!) but I'd gotten in a terrible habit of watching TV in the evening thanks to that. Need to get back to reading instead of watching.

Wanting: More sleep. More money.

Needing: Exercise and vegetables!

Loving: The longer and warmer days. It feels like it just rained for a month straight, so I love the intermittent sunny days!

Thinking: I intended to fill out the rest, but Noah woke up from his nap. Ha!

Feeling:

Missing:

Exercise:

Bane of my Existence: 

Mood: 

Link:

Outfit:

Looking forward to:

Currently: February

Watching: Ross and I are loving Downton Abbey. We're like 2 years late to the party, but we watched the first two seasons over the summer and we were quite excited for Season 3 to start this winter!

Eating: Frequently. Like every 1-2 hours. Not terribly picky about what I eat, although savory food still sounds better. (I won't say no to a cookie, but the thought of my favorite Thai dish from Lulu's makes my stomach growl!)

Drinking: Gobs of water. Still craving a glass of red wine. Must find a supportive friend who will buy a glass and let me have a sip ;-)

Wanting: My old NICU day shift job back! If they would just post a job opening...

Needing: Need is such a strong word. Thankful to have a toasty apartment this frigid winter!

Loving: Our ultrasound pictures from two weeks ago, and the increasingly strong kicks I'm starting to feel.

Feeling: So. many. feelings. Thankfully the hormones seemed to have leveled out for the time being, but my thoughts are still racing a lot... especially when I wake up at 4am.

Wondering: What I used to think about in my spare time, prior to getting pregnant? Probably myself and my momentary concerns, which isn't the worst rut to be breaking out of! Also wondering how a baby will affect our marriage. It's been just us for 5+ years. No more making quick decisions or going to dinner at the drop of a hat!

Looking forward to: VACATION. For the last two years, Ross and I have been saying we needed to get out of town in February or March. This year, we're actually doing it. I've been working so many nights and weekends that a long weekend off with Ross sounds awesome in and of itself, but that fact that it's going to be in sunny San Diego is even better!

Currently: February

February. Can you believe it?! I'm okay with it since the daylight hours are already growing longer and the temperatures, in theory, are creeping upward.



Eating: I'm trying to bake less, but I'm really tempted to bake with joy on Fridays and to bake out of anxiety on Sundays. I've been loving these brownies. I won't tell you how quickly Ross and I finished the first pan...

Reading: The Mark of the Lion series by Francine Rivers. It's historical fiction based in the early years of Christianity. So good.

Wanting: Clarity. Answers. A direction in life. Nothing new there.

Needing: Sunshine and warm air!

Loving: A more predictable schedule, even if it is a busy one.

Thinking: I need to take advantage of this schedule and get into a workout routine again. I love endorphins and working out once or twice a week isn't going to cut it.

Feeling: Very ready for our mini-vacation in Nebraska City this weekend. Wohoo!

Missing: Hawaii. How can it be that a full 365 days have gone by since we went?

Looking forward to: Being done with accutane. I'm on the downhill slope, but I think I'm going to need 20 weeks instead of 16 weeks like I was hoping.



What's new with you?

Currently: November

Location: The big brown couch in our apartment.

Watching: Big Bang Theory.  I love nerds.

Eating: Dates with sunflower seed butter. Our debit card got stolen recently and we've been waiting for our negative bank account to normalize. Meanwhile, the grocery situation is getting a little ridiculous.

Drinking: Actually limiting my water intake since it's bedtime...

Wanting: Simultaneously desperately wanting December 14 to be here, but hoping it won't come too quickly because I have a bajilion things to do between now and then. Why December 14? Because on that day, I will go from The Great Juggling Act of November 2012 involving 4 part-time jobs + school to ONE job and Christmas break!!!!!!!!

Needing: A good night's sleep. Always.

Loving: The short run I went on in the sunshine this afternoon. My nervous energy needs a physical outlet. When I forget that, the anxiety just builds and builds and I lay in bed at night exhausted but with my mind racing. No bueno.

Creating: A mess. 'Tis the season for stacks of papers.

Thinking: That we often misread Philippians 4:13: "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." The questions is, What does GOD want to strengthen me for? Not, To what selfish end can I rely upon God's strength today? 

Feeling: Relieved that a big decision is behind me: starting mid-December I will be a full time RN in the Center for Advanced Fetal Health and High Risk Pregnancy. This comes with the dreaded 8a-5p schedule I've avoided for 5 years now. But no weekends or holidays! And it's going to be a great opportunity for patient education (to see if I can do something with this Master's degree I'm struggling with.)

Wondering: If I'm up for the huge learning curve my new job will entail. And wondering if I could possibly love any other job as much as I love those precious NICU babes.

Currently: October

I saw this list on Magnolia Grace and I really liked it. The "present" is ever-changing and this seems like a fun way to document it! Today, I'm grumpily home on a forced sick day. Darn you chicken pox virus... hiding in my nervous system, ready to strike when I'm at my weakest.

Location: Our one-bedroom, third-floor apartment in Kansas. As of this month, we've been in this apartment for two years and this city for three years!

Watching: The timer... I have cookies in the oven. And the phone... I'm playing phone tag with the doctor's office.

Eating: WAY too much cookie dough. Ugh.

Drinking: Ginger tea in hopes that I can stave off the stomachache that will inevitably come from the above sentiment.

Wanting: To feel peace in my heart.

Needing: To be present and prioritize my time better.

Loving: The warm sunshine today! I hear a cold front is coming in tonight.

Creating: ??? I need to write a paper later...

Thinking: That I can't make up my mind about anything right now and I want to quit everything. Black-and-white thinking, no?

Feeling: I'm embarrassed that my plate is so small. My life isn't even close to being as busy as some other people's lives, but this illness and mandatory sick day is pretty good evidence that I just can't handle having this much on my plate.

Wondering: What beautiful things could possibly come out of this mess of me right now.