2 Years and Counting...

Two years ago, I was sipping a latte and getting my hair and makeup done at this time.

After that, I rushed home, packed (so belatedly) for a Canadian honeymoon, hurried to the church, and got dressed in the best dress I've ever worn.

I tried not to break down when my mom had a breakdown.

I took pictures with my best friends in the beautiful September sunshine outside my childhood church.

My dad walked me down the aisle.

And Ross and I said "I do."

His family

joined my family,

and two became one.



Today, I'm celebrating like I seem to celebrate every "holiday"-- by working. We're also babysitting for family friends this week so Ross is at their house and I'm post-dating this entry to publish while I'm with "my" babies at work.

Last year, our fancy dinner plans fell apart and we ended up eating pizza on a beach. We actually served pizza at our wedding as well, so we decided to start a tradition and have pizza on our anniversary every year. We ended up ordering it last night because the kids we're watching had friends over and it made sense to just feed them all something easy. Sadly, we didn't have any cake to eat on our first or second anniversary, but one year we will go back to that bakery and have them make a mini cake for us to celebrate with.

Since Ross and I aren't going to see much of each other today, I'm doubly glad we took our first-anniversary/pre-move-to-one-income vacation to Florida last year! And today, I guess it's okay that we're spending the day with kids. We kind of like them.

Happy anniversary, Ross! I cannot believe we've been married two years already... and we still like each other most days ;-)

The Best National Neonatal Nurses Day

I took care of Johanna's little marshmallow at work today. I knew it was going to be a busy day, but when that sweet baby opened her big eyes to look at me after I changed her diaper and started her feeding, I knew I couldn't walk away.  I got some warm blankets and sat down in her dark room to hold miss marshmallow for 20 minutes. She was so happy!  She was looking around, looking at me, sucking her thumb, and trying to show me what a big girl she was.

After a few minutes, she got sleepy and snuggled in. I took a deep breath to wake myself up and enjoy this moment of peace, and then I felt the baby's tummy pooch out as SHE took a deep breath. A few minutes later, I sighed again, and the baby took another big breath and let it all out.  IT WAS SO SWEET!  Best part of my day week, hands down. I did this several more times while holding her, and she responded with her own deep breath every time. I think both of us got a lot off our shoulders :o)

I know I complain about work a lot, but I do love the part of my job that allows me to interact with tiny patients every day. They are so sweet and so strong and I have so much love to give them! I hope they know over the beeping monitors, hissing breathing machines, constant hum of voices, and occasional bright lights, that someone out there loves them. It's an honor to help them grow and to spend precious moments like this with them.

Sometimes "my" babies are so beautiful it makes me want to cry.

Just Say No

This entire thought process occurred yesterday (Sunday) afternoon at work:

After I got back from lunch, the charge nurse asked if I wanted to work extra today (Monday). I had already signed up for overtime Wednesday, but they had several babies who needed one-on-one nurses Monday, so they were more desperate for help than usual.  I said, "Sure, take me off of Wednesday and I'll work Monday instead."

Then I remembered I had to have my Bone Marrow Donor labwork done this morning, so I said, "Actually, I can help out, but I can't come in until 11." Which was fine. Then I started to get anxious thinking about it. That meant putting myself at 3 in a row, which always stresses me out now that I'm on day shift. Granted, I'm doing three in a row by working Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, but I was mentally prepared for that. I started wondering, what will I pack for lunch? Will I have time to run errands, workout, and get blood drawn before going in at 11? So I erased my name and put myself back on Wednesday.

Then I felt guilty. But I reminded myself that the entire NICU does not (by any stretch of my imagination) depend on me and me alone. Yes, I work overtime almost every week because we are consistently short every shift thanks to a summer baby boom. Yes, it frustrates me that other people complain about staffing, yet refuse to work overtime. Yes, I like to help when I can. But it's my life, too!  And I'm SO glad I decided not to work today.

On the way to the lab

I got my blood drawn without incident. It's always good when the lab tech tells you that you have good veins before she even applies the tourniquet to your arm. (As an aside, every time I get blood drawn, I feel a little more guilty for sticking our babies when they don't know what's coming. And in general, they do NOT have good veins, so it's never a simple stick.)

Success

I went to Coffee Girls in Brookside and got a fresh squeezed juice as my reward. I'm hoping the extra dose of vitamins and minerals will help my now-slightly-diminished blood supply. After all, I have a 10k to run in two weeks!

Liquid Sunshine

I ate a big lunch at home and then I sat by the pool for 3 hours, soaked up the sun, and read a book nearly cover to cover. As much as I complained about the heat this summer, I'm shockingly upset that summer is fading and I needed one last fling with it.

I love summer!

Dear sunshine, please don't leave me.

 Now I'm anxious about work again, but it's nice to know that I got at least 3 hours of relaxation and sunshine in.  Changing seasons always leave me nostalgic. When I was walking back from the pool, I thought of one of my favorite quotes from Elizabeth Gilbert:

"Of course, we all inevitably work too hard, then we get burned out and have to spend the whole weekend in our pajamas, eating cereal straight out of the box and staring tat the TV in a mild coma (Which is the opposite of working, yes, but not exactly the same thing as pleasure)."

Substitute computer for TV and that's usually my day off in a nutshell-- the opposite of work, yes, but not exactly relaxation. The moral of my story is, just say no. Sometimes "me" time is more important than overtime!

8 Vials of Blood

Freshman year of college, I went to a campus blood drive to donate and ended up signing up to be a bone marrow donor. I didn't really give it a second thought after that. But last week, I had several urgent messages from a woman in Ft. Worth wanting to know if I was still interested in donating. Apparently I'm a possible match for a 20 year old with leukemia.

Tomorrow morning, I go to the lab to get 100ml of blood drawn. I know that's not a lot compared to donating blood, which I've also done, but it sounds like a lot right now. After all, we give 8ml blood transfusions to our smallest babies in the NICU! 100 is a lot in our tiny world.

I'm also nervous because they will be scrutinizing every possible number on my lab results (and, of course, genetic markers) to see if I'm a good match.  More than wanting all my numbers to be perfect, I want to be good enough to help!

Please pray that this keeps moving forward and I can help someone during such a desperate time. I know I'm not even a definite match, but I already feel really good about signing up to be a donor. I highly recommend it! It's humbling to know that I could literally save someone's life with generosity.

Someone Called Me Fast!

Ross and I ran 5 miles this morning.  I felt good and the weather was, for the most part, cloudy and about 65 degrees. I beat last week's 5-mile time by 2 minutes! You know how they say that if an experiment is "repeatable," it's more valid? That's how I feel about my longer distances right now. If I can do it 2 weeks in a row, it's not a fluke!

The BEST part of the run, though, was when we passed a mom with a little girl in a stroller after turning around at the halfway point. The little girl pointed at us and said "fast!"

I'm learning to love hills. At least on out-and-back runs. After all, what goes up must come down. And I found a route that ends on a downhill! I heard this quote in high school and fell in love:

Can I butcher it and say, "I am not afraid of hills, for I am learning to run my race"?! Two weeks until my 10k!

Now I'm Supposed to Keep Doing Things?!

Another long day at work. Monitor alarms are still ringing in my ears. Sock ridges are indented into my edematous legs. I came home to a sink full of dirty dishes. What to do? More work? Or be lazy and know that I have to wake up to this mess in the morning?

I sat on the couch. And read this awesomely hilarious blog post: This is Why I'll Never be an Adult 

Click on the link and read the whole post. Seriously. It's like READING THE STORY OF. MY. OWN. LIFE! It's so nice to know I'm not alone. I made Ross read the post when I was done laughing and I said, "isn't it me?!" He said, "frighteningly so."

Now, in an effort to be responsible and have a productive day off tomorrow,  I'm going to shut off the computer and get in bed.

Oh, and I loaded the dishwasher.

CSA Week 18 + farmer's market fruit

WOW I haven't really posted on our CSA in over a month! But we're still chugging (and eating) along with it. Last week's butternut squash was so good. I was hoping for more this week, but looks like I'll have to wait for a few weeks again. Here's what we got this week:

Kale. I want to love it, but I have to disguise it in soups to eat it.

The last few tomatoes for the summer.

They've been so good while they lasted.

Garlic and sweet peppers.

Cucumbers. One of my favorite veggies!

Lots of potatoes.

Okra-- finally!

Before picking up our CSA share on Wednesday, I stopped by the Westport Organic Farmer's Market and found a few signs of fall:

Delicious buttery pears.

Crisp local apples! Perfection.