Praise

Nothing is an accident.

1.) I'd been feeling pretty humdrum about life and my work lately, but there's nothing like shaking things up to be grateful for what you do have. Today, I am ridiculously grateful for the fact that I've been on day shift for two years, and I'm perpetually grateful and in awe of my co-workers and anyone else who can/has worked night shift for years on end. Someone has to do it, but I'm so thankful it's not me!

However, for the next 2 weeks I will be on nights again, so excuse me if I seem to fall off the face of the earth. Actually, I crammed two week's worth of shifts into 8 days. I'm not sure if that's better or worse.

2.) I went to the InMed Exploring Medical Missions Conference a week and a half ago and it was outstanding. I want to write a lengthier post on it, but it's still marinating. For now I will say that I'd already been unsettled about my vocation and this conference shook things up even more. I've been fretting things I really can't change at this point and that's creating some low-lying but constant stress in addition to everything else going on. But I will say it seems like God is stirring my heart and preparing me for a change. Terrifying and exciting at the same time!

I've been trying to force this change, scout around for the dream job, etc. But today I realized that, as always, I can't make something happen before God wills it to happen. Maybe this wait isn't just a void; maybe there's something very purposeful I'm supposed to learn here until the path becomes clear.

Before my pre-night-shift nap this afternoon, I was reading Tactics, and it was discussing the importance of prayer, individual worship, and Bible reading. The author points out 2 Corinthians 3:17-4:1.

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory. Therefore, since through God's mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart.

I've always skimmed over that last bit because it seemed specific to Paul and his ministry, but the author pulls a word out of that last verse and asks, what ministry? The answer: reflecting His glory! I'm sitting here thinking I need to find this grandiose ministry, but it all boils down to the same things, right? Reflecting His glory. Stoeker says,

A large part of the ministry you're called to is simply to get in God's presence and soak Him up. You are to spend time with Him, and then you're to come off the mountain and shine... The common element of real ministry--whether it's working on a community cleanup project or participating in a mission trip--is getting into His presence and soaking in His glory... If you're not spending time soaking in His presence in worship and cultivating that relationship, then you're not living in the center as a believer in Christ. You won't be transformed the way God desires.

And then this verse. This verse kicked me in the pants, made me re-examine my intentions, my thought life, and my motivations:

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--His good, pleasing, and perfect will. {Romans 12:2}

Sometimes the answer is right in front of me.