As has been the trends this fall, I started this email last month and I'm finally sending it out this month! I had surgery 2.5 weeks ago and recovery has been a little rougher than I anticipated. Exacerbated, I think, by the fact that I have to do this two more times in February and that feels a little intimidating. But I think it will be worth it. I have dealt with truly awful pain for about 1/3 of the month for most of my adult life, but particularly in the last 5 years. I truly feel like I tried everything holistic I possibly could and I finally just realized I'd tried it all, and feeling like this was unsustainable. So I took myself and my lingering health issues to a NaPro surgeon. I had a D & C that did intentify/help remove some of my bleeding issues, and I also asked her to do a laparoscopy while I was under anesthesia because I was already committed to the process.
She found severe endometriosis as well as herniated round ligaments. Which not only explains why I was in so much pain monthly, but also explains why I was in so much pain with my last pregnancy, and why bodywork, stretching, spinning babies, etc consistency make me feel worse (I cringe every time I think how I was stretching an already torn and overstretched ligament!) I actually initially drafted a whole email about gaslighting and both allopathic and holistic providers kind of shaming your symptoms instead of taking them seriously or referring you on. But I realized that it required too much nuance, so into the podcast drafts folder it goes!
What I'm learning
What I've learned through all of this is that, of course, health is more complex than any one provider can give it credit for. Trauma, history, genetics, environment, diet, nutrition, mindset, community. It all plays a part. And each part might need something different to heal. What's helping me right now happens to be two surgeons coordinating an 8 hour robotic surgery to remove things that shouldn't be there and repair things that should.
I'm anxious, but weirdly relieved. An endo diagnosis has been a long time in coming and it's so validating. I also feel like I'm far enough into ownership over my own health that having a diagnosis like this doesn't feel too overwhelming or victimizing. The endo surgeon asked me prior to surgery if I had specific pain points and I gave her some detailed diagrams. Every point but one of them can be explained by large endometriosis lesions or the round ligament damage. I'm glad I finally accepted that I didn't want to be in this much pain forever, and that it wasn't a normal amount of pain, regardless of what I told myself for a long time.
What I'm reading
Ahhhhh I finally returned two overdue books to the library, so my Libby account has been unlocked. I was an avid books-only reader until about 3 years ago, and I have to admit that reading on my Kindle is a game-changer with small kids in the home!
Good fiction can teach us so much about ourselves and the world. It doesn't even have to be stuffy literary fiction! I recently highlighted so many insightful passages in Emily Henry's Happy Place. In non-fiction, I finally finished What Happened to You? I really didn't like Oprah's side of the conversation... it didn't seem to add value to the book as a whole. However, Dr. Bruce Perry does a really great job of breaking down what trauma is, how it affect us, and how we move through it. I really appreciated his segments.
This isn't quiiiiiite what I'm reading right now, but I read Daisy Jones and the Six a few years ago. If you haven't gotten into Taylor Jenkins Reid yet, I highly recommend her novels. I was skeptical when I heard a limited TV series was coming out with an adaptation, but I started watching Daisy Jones and the Six while recovering post-op, and WOW. I guess it has a bunch of Golden Globes nominations, so I'm not alone in thinking the acting is truly phenomenal and the filmography is stunning. It might be the only time I've ever said the screen version was better than the book!
What I'm listening to
I've listened to a lot of podcasts this month, driving to appointments and doing food prep. Here are my favorites:
- The Emotional Impact of Divorce, part 1 on the Bravewriter podcast. No, I'm not getting divorced. Although I was close to it this time 5 years ago. However, we all know someone who has been affected by divorce. Julie (the podcast host) is in her 50s with grown children and she's active in AlAnon recovery. She's also the most realistic homeschool podcaster I listen to. So I knew she'd have some great insights about marriage, parenting, and school choice in this episode, and I was right. Can't wait to listen to part 2!
- How to Make the Rest of 2023 Easier on the Lazy Genius podcast. Once of the lazy genius principles is Knowing Your Season, and for a long time, I knew that even the simple, straightforward advice that Kendra offers would be too overwhelming. However, I've been back on the Lazy Genius train lately. Even if I'm not truly implementing what she talks about, I always appreciate the points she brings up and it allows me to think through whatever current challenge she's discussing, even if I don't sit and journal through it.
On my podcast
I started a podcast called Milk + Motherhood last October. Season 1 was focused on postpartum identity, recovery, and nutrition. Seson 2 is dove into more specialized subjects regarding postparutm and motherhood. Season 3 is coming this spring!
Even if you don't listen, check out the shownotes for a wealth of additional information on subjects like postpartum nutrition and biologically normal infant sleep. Spotify wrap-ups just told me these were your favorite episodes in the past year:
-- Wise Traditions in Early Motherhood with Sally Fallon -- What to Expect When You Were Expecting to Sleep Like a Baby with Taylor Kulik -- Breastfeeding a Baby with Food Allergies with Dr. Trill If you're loving the podcast, please subscribe and leave an Apple podcast review! It's really easy to type a few sentences in, and it helps more people find the fantastic information my guests are sharing with you all. I also love it when you screenshot the episode you're listening to and tag me in your Instagram stories (@happy.mama.healthy.baby)
What We're Eating
You all got my freezer meal freebie when you signed up for this newsletter, and if you haven't opened it yet, you're missing out. This is helpful for any busy life season, not just postpartum. I made about half a dozen of these meals to prepare for my surgery and it was so helpful because I was more down and out than I anticipated. Will absolutely be doing this again in February.
I also ordered a few frozen meals from Mama Meals to eat for lunch those first two weeks post-op and I was so happy with them! Totally wish they'd been a postpartum option for me, but I will absolutely be using them again post-op.
Seasonal Recipe
Do you eat cinnamon rolls on Christmas? It was my family's tradition growing up, and I've stuck to it with my kids. But going gluten free and then, at various points with various kids, dairy free and egg free, it's felt like an impossible task some years and we've had some pretty sub-par cinnamon roll attempts. Last Easter, I found this recipe and I remember LOVING IT. Just got my brown rice starter out of the fridge, and I'm hoping these cinnamon rolls are as good as I remember!
Parting Thoughts
Thank you so much for subscribing to this little missive, following me on social media, supporting my podcast, and using my affiliate links. I'm so grateful for this community and your support.
