Sunday, December 17, 2023

M + M: December 2023 (The Hopes and Fears of All the Years)

As has been the trends this fall, I started this email last month and I'm finally sending it out this month! I had surgery 2.5 weeks ago and recovery has been a little rougher than I anticipated. Exacerbated, I think, by the fact that I have to do this two more times in February and that feels a little intimidating. But I think it will be worth it. I have dealt with truly awful pain for about 1/3 of the month for most of my adult life, but particularly in the last 5 years. I truly feel like I tried everything holistic I possibly could and I finally just realized I'd tried it all, and feeling like this was unsustainable. So I took myself and my lingering health issues to a NaPro surgeon. I had a D & C that did intentify/help remove some of my bleeding issues, and I also asked her to do a laparoscopy while I was under anesthesia because I was already committed to the process.

She found severe endometriosis as well as herniated round ligaments. Which not only explains why I was in so much pain monthly, but also explains why I was in so much pain with my last pregnancy, and why bodywork, stretching, spinning babies, etc consistency make me feel worse (I cringe every time I think how I was stretching an already torn and overstretched ligament!) I actually initially drafted a whole email about gaslighting and both allopathic and holistic providers kind of shaming your symptoms instead of taking them seriously or referring you on. But I realized that it required too much nuance, so into the podcast drafts folder it goes!

What I'm learning

What I've learned through all of this is that, of course, health is more complex than any one provider can give it credit for. Trauma, history, genetics, environment, diet, nutrition, mindset, community. It all plays a part. And each part might need something different to heal. What's helping me right now happens to be two surgeons coordinating an 8 hour robotic surgery to remove things that shouldn't be there and repair things that should. 

I'm anxious, but weirdly relieved. An endo diagnosis has been a long time in coming and it's so validating. I also feel like I'm far enough into ownership over my own health that having a diagnosis like this doesn't feel too overwhelming or victimizing. The endo surgeon asked me prior to surgery if I had specific pain points and I gave her some detailed diagrams. Every point but one of them can be explained by large endometriosis lesions or the round ligament damage. I'm glad I finally accepted that I didn't want to be in this much pain forever, and that it wasn't a normal amount of pain, regardless of what I told myself for a long time.

What I'm reading

Ahhhhh I finally returned two overdue books to the library, so my Libby account has been unlocked. I was an avid books-only reader until about 3 years ago, and I have to admit that reading on my Kindle is a game-changer with small kids in the home! 

Good fiction can teach us so much about ourselves and the world. It doesn't even have to be stuffy literary fiction! I recently highlighted so many insightful passages in Emily Henry's Happy Place. In non-fiction, I finally finished What Happened to You? I really didn't like Oprah's side of the conversation... it didn't seem to add value to the book as a whole. However, Dr. Bruce Perry does a really great job of breaking down what trauma is, how it affect us, and how we move through it. I really appreciated his segments.

This isn't quiiiiiite what I'm reading right now, but I read Daisy Jones and the Six a few years ago. If you haven't gotten into Taylor Jenkins Reid yet, I highly recommend her novels. I was skeptical when I heard a limited TV series was coming out with an adaptation, but I started watching Daisy Jones and the Six while recovering post-op, and WOW. I guess it has a bunch of Golden Globes nominations, so I'm not alone in thinking the acting is truly phenomenal and the filmography is stunning. It might be the only time I've ever said the screen version was better than the book!

What I'm listening to

I've listened to a lot of podcasts this month, driving to appointments and doing food prep. Here are my favorites:

  • The Emotional Impact of Divorce, part 1 on the Bravewriter podcast. No, I'm not getting divorced. Although I was close to it this time 5 years ago. However, we all know someone who has been affected by divorce. Julie (the podcast host) is in her 50s with grown children and she's active in AlAnon recovery. She's also the most realistic homeschool podcaster I listen to. So I knew she'd have some great insights about marriage, parenting, and school choice in this episode, and I was right. Can't wait to listen to part 2!
  • How to Make the Rest of 2023 Easier on the Lazy Genius podcast. Once of the lazy genius principles is Knowing Your Season, and for a long time, I knew that even the simple, straightforward advice that Kendra offers would be too overwhelming. However, I've been back on the Lazy Genius train lately. Even if I'm not truly implementing what she talks about, I always appreciate the points she brings up and it allows me to think through whatever current challenge she's discussing, even if I don't sit and journal through it.

On my podcast

I started a podcast called Milk + Motherhood last October. Season 1 was focused on postpartum identity, recovery, and nutrition. Seson 2 is dove into more specialized subjects regarding postparutm and motherhood. Season 3 is coming this spring!

Even if you don't listen, check out the shownotes for a wealth of additional information on subjects like postpartum nutrition and biologically normal infant sleep. Spotify wrap-ups just told me these were your favorite episodes in the past year:

-- Wise Traditions in Early Motherhood with Sally Fallon -- What to Expect When You Were Expecting to Sleep Like a Baby with Taylor Kulik -- Breastfeeding a Baby with Food Allergies with Dr. Trill If you're loving the podcast, please subscribe and leave an Apple podcast review! It's really easy to type a few sentences in, and it helps more people find the fantastic information my guests are sharing with you all. I also love it when you screenshot the episode you're listening to and tag me in your Instagram stories (@happy.mama.healthy.baby)

What We're Eating

You all got my freezer meal freebie when you signed up for this newsletter, and if you haven't opened it yet, you're missing out. This is helpful for any busy life season, not just postpartum. I made about half a dozen of these meals to prepare for my surgery and it was so helpful because I was more down and out than I anticipated. Will absolutely be doing this again in February.

I also ordered a few frozen meals from Mama Meals to eat for lunch those first two weeks post-op and I was so happy with them! Totally wish they'd been a postpartum option for me, but I will absolutely be using them again post-op.

Seasonal Recipe

Do you eat cinnamon rolls on Christmas? It was my family's tradition growing up, and I've stuck to it with my kids. But going gluten free and then, at various points with various kids, dairy free and egg free, it's felt like an impossible task some years and we've had some pretty sub-par cinnamon roll attempts. Last Easter, I found this recipe and I remember LOVING IT. Just got my brown rice starter out of the fridge, and I'm hoping these cinnamon rolls are as good as I remember!

Parting Thoughts

Thank you so much for subscribing to this little missive, following me on social media, supporting my podcast, and using my affiliate links. I'm so grateful for this community and your support.

Friday, October 27, 2023

M + M: October 2023 (Fall... and Falling)

Our October started off with a bang. Our toddler loves moving chairs all over the house to get over the baby gates he's not able to just scramble over, so we bought a solid wood picnic table to put in the dining room for a while. While we were unloading the table, said toddler tried to "help" while our backs were turned, and pulled the table top entirely onto himself. What could have been very tragic ended up being a wild ride. In an ambulance. Separated from my baby with a head injury of unknown severity.


After hours in the ER, it turned out he had a broken brow bone and elbow, but no brain bleeding or swelling. No spinal cord injury. No abdominal injuries. We stayed overnight for pain relief, got an arm cast 48 hours later, and have had tons of follow-ups. But he got his cast off yesterday, and we have our big appointments with ophthalmology and plastic surgery next week, and now somehow October is almost over.

The whole ordeal has been stressful and very expensive (the $99 picnic table that actually cost $40,000) but since my son is still his usual feisty self, the aftermath of this finds me with a sense of relief. I usually tend to think, "yes it could have been worse, but please validate what I AM feeling about what DID happen." But this time, it's just pure relief for some reason.

What I'm learning

In light of the above story, I'm solidifying some of the vague feelings of shifting life seasons and gratitude for what I do have. As we emerge from a solid 5 years of hard thing after hard thing, traumatic event after traumatic event, I find myself with the old temptation to look back and dissect it all to make sense of it. To define when this season starts and ends. To prove to other people that it's been hard.

But these days, I just have to say about 3 sentences to my new counselor and see the look on her fact to know that this season has been hard by all accounts and my emotions are proportional to what went down. I don't need the world to know my story or to care, but a few compassionate witnesses makes all the difference.

The cloudy weather today reminds me that I'll never fully make sense of the dark seasons. And more will certainly come and go. The hazy borders don't make the clouds less real. But I also don't need to manufacture grey skies when they're not there to prove that they were there at one point.

All I've had energy for this month is putting one foot in front of the other and enjoying the sun when it shines. Maybe someday there will be a beach vacation. For now, treading water feels like a relief compared to drowning.

"How kind is weariness sometimes! It is like the Father's hand laid a little heavy on the heart to make it still." George MacDonald

What I'm reading

My reading life had been a bit of a bummer this month. Partly because my Libby account is locked down thanks to overdue library books! Like, I think I re-read some novels that were on my Kindle, but nothing new or life-changing. I have been reading Hard is Not the Same as Bad for my book club, but I'm not a fan, so I'm not even going to link to that ;-)

What I'm listening to

Again listening to anything requiring brainpower was put on hold for most of this month:

  • I've actually been listening to lots of music, and cautiously starting to praise and celebrate more that way. If you have Spotify, you can listen to my current playlist HERE.

  • Anemia, Iron Deficiency, and IV Iron on the Curbsiders Internal Medicine Podcast. My Nurse Practitioner friend Karin shared this with me, since I've been diving into iron this past year. She and I will eventually talk about this on my own podcast, because WOW there's a lot of bad information and advice on both sides of the iron debates on social media.

  • Are We in a Pre War Era? on the Honestly podcast. I'm not usually one for politics or current events, but I find this podcast to be more... honest than most news outlets. I appreciate the variety of perspectives, and this one was really good. It came out this summer, but I listened to it a few days after the recent devastating Israel/Hamas conflicts began and found it to be really enlightening.

On my podcast

Happy one year birthday to my podcast!!! I started a podcast called Milk + Motherhood last October. Season 1 was focused on postpartum identity, recovery, and nutrition. Seson 2 is diving into more specialized subjects regarding postparutm and motherhood. 

Even if you don't listen, check out the shownotes for a wealth of additional information on these subjects. I actually haven't had any new ones this month! I had meant to get a weaning episode out to wrap up season 2, but obviously this month got a little crazier than normal. However, here are some of my favorites (and yours) from the past year:

2.) The Birth of a Mother with Amanda Radan

My herbalist friend Amanda was my first guest. She says, "Matrescence is the change that happens between who you are and who you're becoming. Adolescence takes years and your body changes, your hormones change, what you like and dislike changes, and how you act and see the world changes. The same goes for matrescence. The only difference is, there's a clear start to matrescence: birth."

6.) Minerals + Motherhood with Amanda Montalvo

This is a crowd favorite, where Amanda (@HormoneHealingRD) and I chat about how mom's mineral status may or may not affect breastmilk. I love that Amanda's approach to this is intuitive and not rule- or fear-based: "Just be mindful of any lab testing. It's only going to get you so far. I think it can be helpful, but if it's not going to change what you're currently doing, if you don't have the capacity to change what you're doing, the test might only add stress and not help right now... Our bodies are so intelligent. At some point we have to drop in and listen to what our bodies actually need. Ultimately, you have to do the best with what you have. It's easy to want to focus and control and fixate on food, but what else are you giving your baby? We give them nourishment in so many other ways."

23.) Does my Baby Really Need a Probiotic? With Cheryl Sew Hoy

One of the most frequent DM questions I get is some variation of, "My baby has eczema/mucousy poop/food allergies/colic... what's the best probiotic?" I finally recorded an entire podcast with extensive resources in the show notes send people when they ask this question. 

In short, you may not need probiotics at all, and if you do, there's no way to know which strains you need without testing. Taking the wrong strain will be expensive poop at best, and problematic at worst. This is my fourth most-listened to episode because many natural health practitioners tout the benefits of certain brands of probiotics, but a one-size-fits-all approach can leave moms pretty confused as to what's best for THEIR baby's needs.

Tiny Health is having a SALE right now, too! Their baseline kit is $199 and it INCLUDES a very in-depth report. This is much cheaper than other types of GI testing with holistic practitioners. However, for those who want even more information, or learn better through interaction, there's now an option to add-on a call with a functional health practitioner. This package will be $249 after October 31, but for right now it's $199. This means the functional consult is free, PLUS you get an additional $20 off with my code HAPPYMAMA20.

If you're loving the podcast, please subscribe and leave an Apple podcast review! It's really easy to type a few sentences in, and it helps more people find the fantastic information my guests are sharing with you all. 

What We're Eating

I... don't even know. I always resort to Cook Once Dinner Fix when life is crazy, which has definitely been the case this month.

Seasonal Recipe

Friday, September 29, 2023

Milk + Motherhood: September 2023 (Changing Seasons of Motherhood)

 Wow I didn't mean to skip August's monthly email, and I'm barely sliding in under the ropes for September. The summer baby boom is very real! In addition to helping local mamas via in-home visits, I've also been getting the ball rolling on local breastfeeding classes, starting a new job at the local women's hospital, and making several changes in school and work and parenting... I've been dealing with major decision fatigue and I'm starting counseling again to process some of the big shifts I feel like we are dealing with. 

What I'm learning

I feel like change is the only constant in parenting and that's good and bad. This has been a major theme in my life in the last few months. Once I have a grasp on one season, we seem to jump ahead to a new one! With the 9 year old moving into a new, much more independent developmental stage, and the 1 year old being solidly a toddler, I feel like I am rapidly shifting into the middle years of motherhood. There's a lot to look forward to there, but like anything, there's also something to grieve in the season I'm leaving behind.

What I'm reading

It has been so long since my July email that I can't even remember everything I've read. My favorite recent fiction read was Nora Goes off Script. I feel like good fiction (good living books, if you will) teach you a lot about yourself, life, and humanity, without tediously spelling things out. This was one of those books. It was so easy and enjoyable to read, but also relatable as the character struggles with certain aspects of motherhood and marriage. 

In non-fiction, I have started about half a dozen books but not made it very far. Those require more focus (aka not bedtime reading) and no interruptions (aka no reading with the kids awake and up and about) so there's that. But if poetry counts, I am trying to read one Mary Oliver poem per day, just to help me focus on the present and my surroundings a little more because that's the only antidote I've really found to feeling like time is moving too quickly!

What I'm listening to

Here are some podcast episodes I loved listening to since we last chatted:

  • If you struggle with the recent trend toward femininity only being flowy dresses and long hair and dreamy read-abounds and jaunts through the woods with your perfectly obliging homeschool children, this episode is for you: Are Women Human? This podcast interview has actually changed my life, given me so much to thing about and talk about, and gave me the confidence to admit that a part-time hospital job would serve my family's time and finances really well right now. A friend share it with me after I sent this other podcast to her (Simple Farmhouse Life: Do Homemakers Have too Much Time on Their Hands?) and... yeah. I will eventually be expounding on this in my own podcast after I read Dorothy Sayers' book on this + a few other related books.

  • Babies Aren't the Parasites We've Been Told. This recent episode of 1000 Hours Outside podcast was about the mental load of motherhood, motherhood overwhelm, attachment, and looking to our common complaints to find out what our unmet needs are in the hard seasons.

On my podcast

Last fall, I started a podcast called Milk + Motherhood and it's been so fun. Season 1 was focused on postpartum identity, recovery, and nutrition. Seson 2 is diving into more specialized subjects regarding postparutm and motherhood. Even if you don't listen, check out the shownotes for a wealth of additional information on these subjects. Here are the episodes I've published since my last newsletter:

25.) Homeopathy for Breastfeeding and Postpartum with Jenna Dodge

In this episode, I talk with Certified Classical Homeopath Jenna Dodge (@projecthomeopathy) about how homeopathy can be a helpful tool in your postpartum, breastfeeding, baby-raising era. She explains how she became a homeopath, what homeopathy is, how it works, how it differs from other home remedies like herbal tinctures, and how to find remedies that could work for you.

26.) Feeling Strong in Your Postpartum Body with Adina Rubin

I really loved chatting with Adina in this interview because I purchased her program last fall and I loved it so much! In this episode, she and I chat about life with 3 kids, kettlebells, why moms need to be strong, how this looks practically in the postpartum season, why walking isn’t always the best postpartum exercise, and how a strength program doesn’t have to be complicated or even hard to be effective.

27.) Let's Talk About Breastfeeding Toddlers

I just released this solo episode this weekend, and you all are LOVING it! I am solidly in my toddler breastfeeding era right now, so I figured this was the perfect time to talk about it! In this solo episode, I cover toddler breastfeeding myths, my personal change of heart in this regard, global breastfeeding recommendations and the benefits of breastfeeding, and the benefits of breastfeeding for more than a year. I talk about how your milk changes over time and how the experience of nursing definitely changes. PRO TIP: You guys, I spend so much time working on my show notes. Don't forget to check them out when you listen, because they are FULL of rabbit trails, articles, other podcast episodes, anything that has encouraged me or informed me on the subject at hand. 

If you're loving the podcast, please subscribe and leave an Apple podcast review! It's really easy to type a few sentences in, and it helps more people find the fantastic information my guests are sharing with you all. 

What We're Eating

I feel like I gave myself a bit of a break in the past month and just made really simple meals. It helps when the weather is hot and all the good stuff is fresh and in-season! But I've been re-vamping my gluten-free sourdough starter after it spent a few too many weeks in the fridge (I mean, it was too hot to bake in August) and I made sourdough discard chocolate zucchini muffins and sourdough pumpkin chocolate chip cookies last week. The kids we skeptical, but ultimately appreciative of fall vegetables in their baked goods ;-)

Seasonal Recipe

This recipe is from my Nourished with Nuance cookbook and it's perfectly in season right now as I harvest a bumper crop of honeynut squash from our garden.

Autumn Pork Salad (makes 5 servings)

-20 ounces of cubed butternut squash -1.5 lbs pork tenderloin -2 Tbs olive oil for baking -2 Tbs olive oil for dressing salt and pepper -5 cups fresh arugula -3 Tbs lemon juice for dressing -2 ripe Asian pears, diced

  1. Preheat oven to 425.
  2. Toss the squash in olive oil, salt, and pepper andspread on a lined, rimmed baking sheet.
  3. Pat the tenderloin dry and place on the other side of the baking sheet. Drizzle with olive oil and sprinkle with salt and pepper. (For additional flavor, you can sear the pork in a hot pan until all the sides are browned BEFORE baking, but this isn’t required).
  4. Bake squash and pork for 20-25 minutes until pork’s internal temperature is 160 degrees. Remove from oven and let meat rest 5-10 minutes before cutting.
  5. In a small bowl, whisk the lemon juice and 2 Tbs olive oil with salt and pepper to taste.
  6. In a large bowl, combine the arugula and pears and toss in the homemade salad dressing.
  7. Add cubed pork and roasted butternut squash and serve.