Milk + Motherhood: June 2023

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I’m Therese Dansby: wife, mom of 3, homeschool educator, lactation consultant, postpartum doula, gardener, reader, writer, and Wild + Free group leader. 

I’m unapologetically vulnerable but not pessimistic about the struggles of motherhood and what I’ve learned as I move through these challenges. In fact, I have a whole podcast about this with guests talking about postpartum nutrition, mental health, bodywork, breastfeeding, and so much more. It’s called ​Milk + Motherhood​ and you can find it on all major podcast platforms!

Summer is in full swing here, and if you follow me on Instagram you may have already seen that I'm *gulp* taking June and July off of Instagram. It's a very risky move for a smlal business owner, but it's also a very clear prompting that I've been feeling for several months now, so I'm trusting that if God is calling me to it, he will get me through it. 

I'm still doing 1:1 consults and releasing 2-3 podcast interviews a month! I also recently started an affiliate program, so if you have my course or cookbooks, or you're a birth worker or other medical provider and you'd like to earn 10% commission for recommending the cookbooks or 20% commission for referring people to the breastfeeding and postpartum course, hit reply to this email to let me know and I'll get you set up! 

 What I'm learning

I'm gearing up for a "fun mom summer." One friend asked what that means, and while I used to love bucket lists when the kids were younger and we had a bunch of cool stuff nearby in the middle of the city, I'm not feeling that this summer. Instead, I want it to be my attitude that's fun. I'm aiming for connection, conversation, and really seeing my kids again instead of seeing them as obstacles in the way of my to-do list. I think this has been one of the biggest pros and cons of homeschooling for me: the kids are always around. Of course, homemaking and housekeeping have to happen, too. But I really want to work smarter, not harder in this regard and it starts with my attitude and priorities.

I'm also learning that contentment has to be cultivated and it's takes a lot of practice for me to learn this skill. I loved this quote I read from Charles Spurgeon recently: 

"They may have desired to live in the city, amid its life, society, and refinement, but they kept their appointed places, for they also were doing the king's work. The place of our habitation is fixed, and we are not to remove from it out of whim and caprice, but seek to serve the Lord in it, by being a blessing to those among whom we reside. These potters and gardeners had royal company, for they dwelt 'with the king' and although among hedges and plants, they dwelt with the king there. No lawful place, or gracious occupation, however mean, can debar us from communion with our divine Lord."

What I'm reading

In nonfiction, I just started  Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle  for the third time. But it's resonating with me so much that I know I'll finish it this time. I also appreciate that I can recognize this funk I've been in is burnout and sleep deprivation and not a flare-up of PMADs or some ambiguous health problem.

I have read some really bad fiction lately! Is it just me, or is it getting harder to find good books? I've read some highly-rated new releases and the characters are so politically correct and one-dimentional (aka boring) or the writing is filled with so much jargon that it's hard to take the author seriously. I FINALLY broke that streak (no pun intended) with the quick-paced tennis comeback novel,  Carrie Soto is Back  by Taylor Jenkins Reid. Reid is a truly phenomenal writer and her novels are filled with amazing insights without being sentimental. If you've never read anything she's written, you'll love the movie-like way that she writes. It's not written like a script, but her writing is fast-paced and easy to visualize. She also wrote The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, Daisey Jones and the Six, and more.

What I'm listening to

I like Abby Halberstadt's message, although sometimes I struggle a bit with how she presents it. HOWEVER, episode 16 of her M is for Mama podcast is so good. It's called  Identity in Christ, Not Struggles  and it's an interview with Ann Swindell about trichotillomania, which I struggle with and I never hear anyone talking about! So it was refreshing and encouraging and a good listen for anyone who has ever dealt with "a thorn in their side."

I'm also diving into new-t0-me podcast Quiet the Diet and I'm loving it. She interviews Liz Wolfe and Steph Gruenke on  the evolution of the paleo diet , and it's just a really sane conversation about diet trends, knowing what works for your body, and the difference between healthy eating and orthorexia.

On the podcast

Last fall, I started a podcast called  Milk + Motherhood  and it's been so fun. Season 1 was focused on postpartum identity, recovery, and nutrition. Seson 2 is diving into more specialized subjects regarding postparutm and motherhood. Even if you don't listen, check out the shownotes for a wealth of additional information on these subjects. Here's a review of the episodes I've published since my last newsletter:

20.)  Troubleshooting Pelvic Floor Problems with Physical Therapist Christina Walsh  - Christina (@tighten.your.tinkler) and I bounce back and forth talking about our own postpartum experiences, how they led us to the work we do, and how you are not alone if your pelvic floor doesn't feel the same postpartum. She answers so many listener questions and also shares hope for addressing your symptoms via the program she and her colleague, Jenn, have developed. Their program, Tighten Your Tinkler, is offered virtually and is backed by three years of academic research.

21.)  Sensory Overwhelm, Mom Friends, and Small Changes with author and counselor Amber Trueblood  - In this episode, Amber (@officialambertrueblood) and I have a really great conversation covering lots of ground: sensory overwhelm and how to handle it, anxiety styles and how knowing yours can affect your relationships, choosing empathy over comparison, the big impact of small changes, boundaries in motherhood, and more! She just released a book called The Unflustered Mom, so of course we talk about that too.

22.)  Dinnertime Decisions and Doing it All with bestselling cookbook author Cassy Joy Garcia  - This conversation with Cassy Joy Garcia (@fedandfit) was so encouraging to me. Even a professional cookbook author finds dinnertime difficult sometimes! In this interview, we talk about shifting priorities, how to make work time work with young children, asking for help, and our favorite dinner go-tos. Of course, we also talk about Cassy's second and third cookbooks and why they're perfect for this exact season of life that we are both in.

If you're loving my podcast, please subscribe and leave an  Apple podcast review ! It's really easy to type a few sentences in, and it helps more people find the fantastic information my guests are sharing with you all. 

What We're Eating

 Interviewing Cassy  a few weeks ago re-ignited my love for her cookbooks, so we're eating lots of recipes from Cook Once Eat All Week and Cook Once Dinner Fix (you can find these along with my other favortie cookbooks in my  Amazon storefront ). We recently found a week of meals we hadn't tried yet and the whole family was so excited for some new flavor profiles! 

But also, May was a really busy month so we relied on some of our favorite allergy-friendly snack staples: Macro Bars, GoodPop Freezer Pops, and Serenity Kid Pouches. We order a lot of these for cheaper on Thrive Marketplace and you can get 40% off your first order with  this link .

Seasonal Recipe

Our raspberry and blackberry plants are all flowering right now, so it's the perfect time of year to utilize the herbal benefits of berry leaves.  This cool article  shares some nutritional and medicinal benefits of various types of berry leaves. 

Berry Leaf Mineral Infuison (makes 2-3 servings)

--1 cup fresh red raspberry, blackberry, and/or strawberry leaves --1 liter of boiling water

1. Place the leaves into a 1 liter glass jar.
2. Pour the boiling water over the leaves.
3. Cover and jar and let steep for at least 4 hours or overnight. Note that this infusion may be lighter in color than one made from dried herbs.
4. Strain and refrigerate within 24 hours, and the infusion will be good for 48 hours total. 
5. Re-warm in the sun for a warm beverage, or sip on it iced!

Fruits and Roots and Fireflies

This is, somehow, our fourth summer in this house. The first summer, we were really just getting the lay of the land. The second summer, I was pregnant and yard work didn't happen. The third summer, I spent DAYS weeding to recover from the past year's neglect, and then we (Ross) tore up the garden beds and redesigned the garden space and laid a bunch of sod. This summer, we tore up an old RV pad taking up 1/4 of the yard and... now we have a pit of mud and weeds there. BUT the rest of the yard is... dreamy. It truly makes me so happy. The green, the smells, the dew in the mornings, the promise of bountiful things to come.

This winter was particularly long, cold, and snowy, so when spring finally cane, the wonderful succession from crocuses to daffodils to tulips to lilacs to asparagus to peonies to roses and strawberries has felt nothing short of miraculous. 

Of course, in this life season perhaps more than any other, it's not lost on me that small (and occasionally) large daily tasks are required to keep this progression running smoothly. For a few weeks, I was knocking asparagus beetles off my precious asparagus into soapy water every time I went outside. (One of those days, Isaac came to me crying... all wet... with dead beetles all over his shoulders, having mistaken the beetle cup for an innocent cup of water).

Then, of course, weeds always need to be pulled-- urgently in April when all the dandelions start to bloom, and constantly in little windows of 5 minutes here, 10 minutes there throughout the summer. Even the good plants that overwintered need tending to: pruning, fertilizing, watering, training. And of course the new ones need to be planted or transplanted and watered and tended until they're stronger. In a perfect world, we'd be seeding and feeding the lawn so it's healthier and more resistant to weeds. And moles. Maybe someday.

But for now, I'm reveling in the fruits of our labor thus far, and I'm reminded that big tasks get done in small, daily, consistent ways that don't feel like work in the way that a full day of yard work would. In fact, they almost feel... fun. They build gratitude. I'm hoping care breeds contentment. It benefits my body and spirit in ways I'll never understand to have my bare feet in the earth and bare shoulders to the sun (or, even better, to the dusk and the first fireflies of the year). I'm grateful to have this time to notice and to do the work of tending to a small plot of land: to pluck weeds while keeping one eye on Isaac. To stumble upon yet another one of Rosie's kitchen garden creations simmering away with water, mud, leaves, and flower petals. To see Noah reading in his de facto camp: flags, army tent, bike, Nerf guns, and all. Or to enjoy the silence while watering after the kids have gone to bed and to witness the first long awaited firefly signaling that seasons really do change and the world is bigger than I remember sometimes.