Our October started off with a bang. Our toddler loves moving chairs all over the house to get over the baby gates he's not able to just scramble over, so we bought a solid wood picnic table to put in the dining room for a while. While we were unloading the table, said toddler tried to "help" while our backs were turned, and pulled the table top entirely onto himself. What could have been very tragic ended up being a wild ride. In an ambulance. Separated from my baby with a head injury of unknown severity.
After hours in the ER, it turned out he had a broken brow bone and elbow, but no brain bleeding or swelling. No spinal cord injury. No abdominal injuries. We stayed overnight for pain relief, got an arm cast 48 hours later, and have had tons of follow-ups. But he got his cast off yesterday, and we have our big appointments with ophthalmology and plastic surgery next week, and now somehow October is almost over.
The whole ordeal has been stressful and very expensive (the $99 picnic table that actually cost $40,000) but since my son is still his usual feisty self, the aftermath of this finds me with a sense of relief. I usually tend to think, "yes it could have been worse, but please validate what I AM feeling about what DID happen." But this time, it's just pure relief for some reason.
What I'm learning
In light of the above story, I'm solidifying some of the vague feelings of shifting life seasons and gratitude for what I do have. As we emerge from a solid 5 years of hard thing after hard thing, traumatic event after traumatic event, I find myself with the old temptation to look back and dissect it all to make sense of it. To define when this season starts and ends. To prove to other people that it's been hard.
But these days, I just have to say about 3 sentences to my new counselor and see the look on her fact to know that this season has been hard by all accounts and my emotions are proportional to what went down. I don't need the world to know my story or to care, but a few compassionate witnesses makes all the difference.
The cloudy weather today reminds me that I'll never fully make sense of the dark seasons. And more will certainly come and go. The hazy borders don't make the clouds less real. But I also don't need to manufacture grey skies when they're not there to prove that they were there at one point.
All I've had energy for this month is putting one foot in front of the other and enjoying the sun when it shines. Maybe someday there will be a beach vacation. For now, treading water feels like a relief compared to drowning.
"How kind is weariness sometimes! It is like the Father's hand laid a little heavy on the heart to make it still." George MacDonald
What I'm reading
My reading life had been a bit of a bummer this month. Partly because my Libby account is locked down thanks to overdue library books! Like, I think I re-read some novels that were on my Kindle, but nothing new or life-changing. I have been reading Hard is Not the Same as Bad for my book club, but I'm not a fan, so I'm not even going to link to that ;-)
What I'm listening to
Again listening to anything requiring brainpower was put on hold for most of this month:
- I've actually been listening to lots of music, and cautiously starting to praise and celebrate more that way. If you have Spotify, you can listen to my current playlist HERE.
- Anemia, Iron Deficiency, and IV Iron on the Curbsiders Internal Medicine Podcast. My Nurse Practitioner friend Karin shared this with me, since I've been diving into iron this past year. She and I will eventually talk about this on my own podcast, because WOW there's a lot of bad information and advice on both sides of the iron debates on social media.
- Are We in a Pre War Era? on the Honestly podcast. I'm not usually one for politics or current events, but I find this podcast to be more... honest than most news outlets. I appreciate the variety of perspectives, and this one was really good. It came out this summer, but I listened to it a few days after the recent devastating Israel/Hamas conflicts began and found it to be really enlightening.
On my podcast
Happy one year birthday to my podcast!!! I started a podcast called Milk + Motherhood last October. Season 1 was focused on postpartum identity, recovery, and nutrition. Seson 2 is diving into more specialized subjects regarding postparutm and motherhood.
Even if you don't listen, check out the shownotes for a wealth of additional information on these subjects. I actually haven't had any new ones this month! I had meant to get a weaning episode out to wrap up season 2, but obviously this month got a little crazier than normal. However, here are some of my favorites (and yours) from the past year:
2.) The Birth of a Mother with Amanda Radan
My herbalist friend Amanda was my first guest. She says, "Matrescence is the change that happens between who you are and who you're becoming. Adolescence takes years and your body changes, your hormones change, what you like and dislike changes, and how you act and see the world changes. The same goes for matrescence. The only difference is, there's a clear start to matrescence: birth."
6.) Minerals + Motherhood with Amanda Montalvo
This is a crowd favorite, where Amanda (@HormoneHealingRD) and I chat about how mom's mineral status may or may not affect breastmilk. I love that Amanda's approach to this is intuitive and not rule- or fear-based: "Just be mindful of any lab testing. It's only going to get you so far. I think it can be helpful, but if it's not going to change what you're currently doing, if you don't have the capacity to change what you're doing, the test might only add stress and not help right now... Our bodies are so intelligent. At some point we have to drop in and listen to what our bodies actually need. Ultimately, you have to do the best with what you have. It's easy to want to focus and control and fixate on food, but what else are you giving your baby? We give them nourishment in so many other ways."
23.) Does my Baby Really Need a Probiotic? With Cheryl Sew Hoy
One of the most frequent DM questions I get is some variation of, "My baby has eczema/mucousy poop/food allergies/colic... what's the best probiotic?" I finally recorded an entire podcast with extensive resources in the show notes send people when they ask this question.
In short, you may not need probiotics at all, and if you do, there's no way to know which strains you need without testing. Taking the wrong strain will be expensive poop at best, and problematic at worst. This is my fourth most-listened to episode because many natural health practitioners tout the benefits of certain brands of probiotics, but a one-size-fits-all approach can leave moms pretty confused as to what's best for THEIR baby's needs.
Tiny Health is having a SALE right now, too! Their baseline kit is $199 and it INCLUDES a very in-depth report. This is much cheaper than other types of GI testing with holistic practitioners. However, for those who want even more information, or learn better through interaction, there's now an option to add-on a call with a functional health practitioner. This package will be $249 after October 31, but for right now it's $199. This means the functional consult is free, PLUS you get an additional $20 off with my code HAPPYMAMA20.
If you're loving the podcast, please subscribe and leave an Apple podcast review! It's really easy to type a few sentences in, and it helps more people find the fantastic information my guests are sharing with you all.
What We're Eating
I... don't even know. I always resort to Cook Once Dinner Fix when life is crazy, which has definitely been the case this month.
Seasonal Recipe
Our neighbors gifted us a bunch of green apples, so we recently made our favorite apple pie! I use Wholly Gluten Free frozen pie crust + this filling recipe and it's so good thanks to the secret ingredient: apple juice or cider! (I use arrowroot powder in place of corn starch). Parting Thoughts Thank you so much for subscribing to this little missive, following me on social media, supporting my podcast, and using my affiliate links. I'm so grateful for this community and your support. As always, please share with me what you're loving and learning right now! If you hit reply to this email, your note will come straight to my inbox <3 See you next month, Therese Dansby, RN, IBCLC |
