25 weeks

T-minus 15 weeks til baby is here. Rosie keeps saying, "Thanksgiving is taking FOREVER to get here" and both kids keep asking if it's winter yet! I'm so excited to meet him, but I REALLY need the house in a bit more order before that happens. It's getting hard to move around and bend over to tidy up and it's making me anxious because that's obviously going to get worse before it gets better.

I'm enjoying the tiny but GLORIOUS breaks in summer weather the past two weeks. The humidity this summer has been insane! I am beyond ready for fall. However, I couldn't have timed this better if I tried. Better to be in the second trimester (I think) than first (nausea) or third (swelling) in this heat. My second trimester goes from May 20 through September 2 which has been amazing. 

22, 23, and 24 Weeks

22 weeks

Baby and I have grown massively this week! I'm struggling with insomnia and anxiety and just feeling huge all of the sudden. But thankfully the INSANE summer heat wave that was July came to an abrupt end (or intermission) and I've been able to get some fresh air and Vitamin D without totally wiping myself out for the day. Speaking of energy levels, I'm really proud of myself for finally starting workouts again. I started the week before we last went to KC and then that week of travel was so busy and exhausting, I didn't need to add workouts to that. But we've been back 2.5 weeks and I'm actually on a roll with 30 minute Barre3 workouts every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. It feels good to move in an intentional way, different from how I move around the house picking things up and making food.

It's been a BUSY summer with two kids, oscillating between totally dreamy moments where they play together magically well, and totally horrible afternoons where they won't listen the first time and won't stop fighting. In both circumstances, I find myself wondering what *exactly* a third baby will do for my sanity. But in reality, we are all really excited for baby brother to join us and we have timed our 12-week fall homeschool term to end when I'm 38 weeks pregnant. 

Rosie is belly height right now, so she kisses "baby brother" and tells him good morning every morning. Noah, well, he's excited for co-op to start. It's funny how different these two kids are. Can't wait to see what variety the third brings.

We have technically reached viability, which is another big milestone. Ross felt baby boy move from the outside this week, which is another "this is actually happening moment." We also shared our birth plans with my parents so we can start brainstorming the logistics of D-day, which I'm getting so insanely excited about. I'm listening to all the podcasts and watching Why Not Home? and daydreaming about labor and meeting this babe.

Symptoms:

-insomnia around 2am

-insane thirst (gonna as the doctor about this)

-SPD pain

-pelvic congestion and varicose veins started kicking in right at 18 weeks, so I have to be really careful to lay down midday and not be on my feet for two long, lest I get really sore really quickly. I did start taking an herbal tincture for the varicose veins that seems to help their appearance, if not the sensation, at least.

-clumsiness/dropping things

23 weeks

Still really appreciating the second trimester "energy" (relatively speaking-- I still need lots of breaks!) Marveling at how good and normal I feel this pregnancy, and I'm really grateful for that. Also, I've been eating dairy almost every day this week and NOT getting eczema or stomach aches. HUGE win. Craving cookies and cookie dough like crazy, so I'm trying to be more intentional about eating more calories throughout the day with balanced meals and snacks (also totally enjoying the cookies).

24 weeks

Time is positively flying. We've been so over-scheduled and spending tons of time in the car which = back and hip pain for me. Baby also seems to be all cramped up and lying sideways still, so I went to PT, chiro, AND prenatal massage this week to get him repositioned and myself more comfortable. He still seems to prefer being sideways, but at least once a day I'll feel kicks going upward instead of sideways or down, which is reassuring. I'm also panicking slightly at the countdown on my pregnancy apps just ticking away... so much to do around the house and so little time (and even less energy and physical ability) to do it. I've been craving Brie cheese and time with friends and thankfully I got both this week. I've been hyper-focused on being totally prepared for the school year NOW to save myself some grief and chaos, especially when we start second term with a baby who is just a few weeks old.

Also this week (it was a looooong week), my belly button felt like it was going to split into two. I had recovered my diastasis really well after Rosie, but apparently muscle memory is powerful. This is the most separated it's ever been, and it happened really quickly between 15-23 weeks. I know it'll just get worse from here, although a small part of me hopes it doesn't. Right now the top of the uterus is just at the point of separation so it's super uncomfortable. Maybe as the uterus continues to grow, the pressure will be more indirect! It's made me a little uncomfortable and a lot anxious. Between that and the two last-minute postpartum doula shifts I picked up this week, I haven't done any formal workouts this week. I HAVE made it a point to stay active, though. My favorite is gentle laps or pool walking in my parents' pool. It's AMAZING to live nearby.

Cajun Shrimp Sheet Pan Dinner

This is not a recipe I invented, but we love love loved it so I'm adding it to my blog for easy access next time I'm forgetting what easy recipes we like. This Cajun Shrimp Sheet Pan Dinner from Fed + Fit was slightly more work than a normal sheet pan dinner, but infinitely worth it. We served it alongside corn on the cob because it's in season right now and everyone liked this dinner!

• 1 1/2 pounds red potatoes, skin-on, cut into 1-inch cubes
• 1/2 pound okra, sliced lengthwise (I just used a bag of frozen, pre-sliced organic okra)
• 1 red bell pepper, deseeded and sliced into 1-inch rings
• 1 green bell pepper, deseeded and sliced into 1-inch rings
• 1 tablespoon Cajun seasoning, such as this one
• 1 teaspoon sea salt (I've been using Jacobsen Salt Co. lately)
• 1/2 onion, cut into 1-inch pieces
• 1 tablespoon organic EVOO or avocado oil
• 12 ounces andouille sausage, cut into 1-inch slices
• 1 pound medium-large shrimp (I bought frozen, peeled, deveined, pre-cooked)
• Dried parsley, for garnish

FOR THE REMOULADE SAUCE:

• 1 cup mayonnaise
• 1/4 cup spicy brown mustard
• 2 tablespoons lemon juice
• 1 tablespoon capers, drained and chopped (optional)
• 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1/4 teaspoon onion powder
• 1/4 teaspoon black pepper
• 1 tablespoon hot pepper sauce (optional)
• 
  

INSTRUCTIONS:

1. Preheat oven to 375 F.
2. Spread the vegetables onto a large rimmed baking sheet in one layer (you may need two sheets for this), then season with the salt and Cajun seasoning. Toss with oil and bake for 35 minutes.
3. While the vegetables are baking, make the remoulade by whisking all of the ingredients together in a medium-sized bowl.
4. Add the shrimp to another medium-sized bowl and toss with half of the remoulade sauce.
5. Once the vegetables have finished baking, remove from the oven and toss, scraping up from the bottom of the pan. Place the shrimp and sausage on top of the vegetables.
6. Return the pan to the oven and bake for 15 minutes at 375.
7. Remove pan from the oven, let cook for 5 minutes, garnish with dried parsley, and save with additional remoulade sauce.

19, 20, and 21 weeks

Weeks 6-16 felt like they'd last FOREVER, and now time is flying by. Partly because it's been a BUSY month of travel and houseguests (in a 1 month span, I went to KC solo with the kids twice and we also hosted friends + their kids for several days between those trips), partly because, well, I don't know. I have a really long list of stuff to get done before baby arrives, and I feel like I'm running out of time!

The good news is, I don't really have a lot of *anything* to report, good or bad. I mostly feel like myself again, but I'm feeling baby move multiple times a day now. We also reached the halfway point, which feels like a HUGE milestone. And most importantly, our level 2 scan with the perinatologist came back COMPLETELY clear. The subchorionic hemorrhage is nowhere to be seen, and baby looks perfect and adorable. 

Funny story, about halfway through the ultrasound the sonographer and I realized we'd both worked for the same perinatology team at KU Med! It's hard to believe I was there 9 YEARS ago. Whew! But she just left KC within the last year. It was a funny, full-circle moment. They are an incredibly thorough and meticulous team, so I trust we got the most thorough ultrasound possible.

Between the ultrasound and the 20 week mark, it all just feels really REAL and I'm starting to get so excited to meet this baby.

18 weeks: It's a boy!

I'm writing this on the day I "switch over" to 19 weeks. This week, I started to feel movement much more frequently, and we also took the kids to the doctor's office for my monthly visit where a quick bedside ultrasound told them... it's a boy! We are so excited to meet him and have all our kids in our arms.

This week, my anxiety has gone up a lot. But it's less worry about specific things like loss, and more physical anxiety, which I'm also all-too-familiar with. So I'm committing to keeping a few promises to myself to reduce stress and improve sleep. Basically, this involves moving more after a (necessarily) sedentary few months.

I'm aiming to walk for 30 minutes in the morning after my quick stretches and PT exercises. I've been listening to music and perfecting my pregnancy playlist to reflect the miracle, joy, and anticipation we feel in this season. I also started Barre3 workouts again online this week. I thinks it's feasible to do one 10 minute upper body workout + one 10 minute lower body workout + one 15-30 minute prenatal full-body workout each week. I'll try some new workouts this week and next, and then stick with the same 3 workouts on rotation for 6 weeks to really build strength and endurance back up. It also just makes me breathe deeper (which I don't do when I'm anxious) and will increase my blood flow to keep my varicose veins from aching. And THAT plan will take me right into the 3rd trimester! I'll be bigger then, but also the weather will be maybe getting a little cooler, so I'm hopeful that I will be able to stay active. It's been kind of fun to be pregnant in such different seasons this time around.

Finally, just because I need to commit to this somewhere, I need to act my way back into journaling before bed. I really enjoyed this for a while, and I know it helps my sleep. But I don't wanna. Yet I need to. So tonight I will clear my desk off and just... begin again. No theme, no pressure, just a 5 minute timer and my journal.

Oh! Also, if this baby follows my previous pattern, today basically brings us to the halfway point of this pregnancy, which is REALLY hard to believe. The first trimester lasted FOR-EV-ER and the second is flying by. I'm REALLY trying to focus on one day at a time and not let the pressure of catching up from the first and nesting for the third overwhelm me right here in the sweet second tri.

Weeks 16 and 17

I'm currently 18 weeks and change and I can't believe the difference a few weeks can make! Sometimes I just feel NORMAL for a few minutes. My belly isn't hugely heavy yet, and now that my SI joint pain has improved thanks to taping my diastasis while the top of the uterus migrates past my weak umbilical area... now that I don't feel like vomiting all the time and I only *sometimes* gag when I blow my nose... now that I feel kind of normal tired and not deep-down-in-my-bones fatigued... it's easy to forget, for a moment, that I'm growing a baby. Then, of course, I stand up, or wait on houseguests hand and foot for 3 days, or spend too much time in the car, and I feel it. Physically and emotionally, I feel it.

I'm happy to be second-trimester pregnant this summer as opposed to hugely pregnant or freshly postpartum (as I'm accustomed to being in the summer), but it's pretty gross out there either way. This week, my primary symptoms are fatigue, mood swings, backne, and heat rash in my cleavage. It's super glamorous to type that out, by the way. About as glamorous as it all feels. All of those symptoms are exacerbated by, if not outright caused by, the dang humidity and the subsequent sweating. I'm doing my best to add salt and electrolytes to my water, or else to drink juice or coconut water or fruit popsicles, but... the sweating and the itching. It's too much and I'm grumpy and then exhausted if I am outside for too long.

However, this past week I accidentally felt the baby kick from the outside. Given that I really only feel movement a few times a day, and it's still pretty subtle, I was shocked. But also really happy. With all the loss around me and in the world right now, there's been a lot of tension in the already but not yet that pregnancy entails. I'm VERY anxious for my appointment tomorrow. We are bringing the kids to see the baby on the ultrasound, but I can't quite kick that niggling worry: what if it's not a happy ultrasound?! But I currently have no reason to believe it wouldn't be, so we are proceeding forward. We have the BIG ultrasound with the high-risk OB in two weeks, and I'm more worried about that one being emotional, so Ross and I will be sans big kids then.

Also, I realized yesterday that I might be freaking out because I'm not magically MAKING USE of this time. Am I just going to be more tired and depleted 20+ weeks from now when I'm huge and then postpartum? I feel like I need to catch up on 18 weeks of life I've missed out on, as well as nest for the next 20 weeks before I run out of energy again. I have to remember I feel drastically better in comparison, but I still feel 36 years old and pregnant with two small children in the house. I've been struggling with 1-2 hours of middle-of-the-night insomnia every night, too, and it's taking a toll.

Time to be accountable to the fact that self-care will require a little bit more than JUST intensive rest like the first trimester did! 

13, 14, and 15 weeks

 Interestingly, my symptoms seem to continue to improve as long as I'm caring for myself physically AND emotionally. My nausea decreased significantly after I sort of broke down to my support group around 11 weeks, and it comes back the worst when I'm overwhelmed and rundown and haven't taken the time or space to acknowledge my emotions. Being semi-comatose in front of Netflix is occasionally still necessary, but mostly it's copping out now. I'd be better served by sleeping or journaling or doing some gentle movement.

Even though I'm so grateful I haven't had bleeding for 6 weeks (!!!) now, I'm still anxious. I'm not feeling movement nearly as frequently or as reassuringly as I did around 15 weeks with previous pregnancies. A friend recently lost her baby at 22 weeks for no known reason. Miscarriages seem to abound right now and, yeah, I'm more anxious about it. I started taking baby aspirin because even though my doctor told me the latest research on MTHFR showed that aspirin was not significantly helpful, I feel like I keep hearing that COVID causes blood clots, and the vaccine causes blood clots, and somehow maybe even vaccine "shedding" causes blood clots, and I just... wanted to feel like I was doing something. Previously, I felt relief after the first trimester, but this time it all seems to be fair game: tragedy can happen at any time.

At the same time, I have to acknowledge that others' tragedies aren't mine to carry. I deeply empathize and yet I can know that right now, that isn't my season. I can care for my loved ones and walk through this with them if they want me to, but worrying about it happening to me won't ward off the worst. (Yet even though I'm writing this on a Sunday, I know I won't bring myself to publish it until my appointment on Tuesday.)

So here we are. The last few weeks have been such a welcome reprieve. The fatigue and nausea only really act up when, like I said, I'm not taking care of myself. If I run around like crazy one day, I'm in bed the next. So I'm working on finding a balance to run this race with endurance. I'm excited to slowly start being productive with second trimester reprieve, but I know I can't afford to go overboard with trying to do it all! My decisions now are caring for my current self AND my future postpartum self.

Hmmmm let's see. Most noticeable symptoms are round ligament pain, nasal congestion, nose bleeds, and still some insomnia. But overall I'm in that weird space where I only feel and look a little pregnant, so on good days it's actually easy to forget for a moment. At Noah's birthday party, I jumped rope for a minute to show him how it's done, and about 4 lines into the teddy bear jumprope rhyme realized it was a very bad idea for my bladder! But shoot it was fun for a minute there.