Milk + Motherhood: September 2023 (Changing Seasons of Motherhood)

 Wow I didn't mean to skip August's monthly email, and I'm barely sliding in under the ropes for September. The summer baby boom is very real! In addition to helping local mamas via in-home visits, I've also been getting the ball rolling on ​local breastfeeding classes​, starting a new job at the local women's hospital, and making several changes in school and work and parenting... I've been dealing with major decision fatigue and I'm starting counseling again to process some of the big shifts I feel like we are dealing with. 

What I'm learning

I feel like change is the only constant in parenting and that's good and bad. This has been a major theme in my life in the last few months. Once I have a grasp on one season, we seem to jump ahead to a new one! With the 9 year old moving into a new, much more independent developmental stage, and the 1 year old being solidly a toddler, I feel like I am rapidly shifting into the middle years of motherhood. There's a lot to look forward to there, but like anything, there's also something to grieve in the season I'm leaving behind.

What I'm reading

It has been so long since my July email that I can't even remember everything I've read. My favorite recent fiction read was ​Nora Goes off Script​. I feel like good fiction (good living books, if you will) teach you a lot about yourself, life, and humanity, without tediously spelling things out. This was one of those books. It was so easy and enjoyable to read, but also relatable as the character struggles with certain aspects of motherhood and marriage. 

In non-fiction, I have started about half a dozen books but not made it very far. Those require more focus (aka not bedtime reading) and no interruptions (aka no reading with the kids awake and up and about) so there's that. But if poetry counts, I am trying to read one Mary Oliver poem per day, just to help me focus on the present and my surroundings a little more because that's the only antidote I've really found to feeling like time is moving too quickly!

What I'm listening to

Here are some podcast episodes I loved listening to since we last chatted:

• If you struggle with the recent trend toward femininity only being flowy dresses and long hair and dreamy read-abounds and jaunts through the woods with your perfectly obliging homeschool children, this episode is for you: ​Are Women Human?​ This podcast interview has actually changed my life, given me so much to thing about and talk about, and gave me the confidence to admit that a part-time hospital job would serve my family's time and finances really well right now. A friend share it with me after I sent this other podcast to her (​Simple Farmhouse Life: Do Homemakers Have too Much Time on Their Hands?​) and... yeah. I will eventually be expounding on this in my own podcast after I read Dorothy Sayers' book on this + a few other related books.

• ​How to Enjoy Your Evening Hours​ on the Lazy Genius Podcast. This episode is short and practical and I really appreciated this food for thought.

• ​Everything Wrong with Nutrition on Social Media​. If you haven't listened to Quiet the Diet yet, you're missing out. This episode was so good!

• ​Babies Aren't the Parasites We've Been Told​. This recent episode of 1000 Hours Outside podcast was about the mental load of motherhood, motherhood overwhelm, attachment, and looking to our common complaints to find out what our unmet needs are in the hard seasons.

On my podcast

Last fall, I started a podcast called ​Milk + Motherhood​ and it's been so fun. Season 1 was focused on postpartum identity, recovery, and nutrition. Seson 2 is diving into more specialized subjects regarding postparutm and motherhood. Even if you don't listen, check out the shownotes for a wealth of additional information on these subjects. Here are the episodes I've published since my last newsletter:

25.) ​Homeopathy for Breastfeeding and Postpartum with Jenna Dodge​

In this episode, I talk with Certified Classical Homeopath Jenna Dodge (​@projecthomeopathy​) about how homeopathy can be a helpful tool in your postpartum, breastfeeding, baby-raising era. She explains how she became a homeopath, what homeopathy is, how it works, how it differs from other home remedies like herbal tinctures, and how to find remedies that could work for you.

26.) ​Feeling Strong in Your Postpartum Body with Adina Rubin​

I really loved chatting with Adina in this interview because I purchased her program last fall and I loved it so much! In this episode, she and I chat about life with 3 kids, kettlebells, why moms need to be strong, how this looks practically in the postpartum season, why walking isn’t always the best postpartum exercise, and how a strength program doesn’t have to be complicated or even hard to be effective.

27.)​ Let's Talk About Breastfeeding Toddlers​

I just released this solo episode this weekend, and you all are LOVING it! I am solidly in my toddler breastfeeding era right now, so I figured this was the perfect time to talk about it! In this solo episode, I cover toddler breastfeeding myths, my personal change of heart in this regard, global breastfeeding recommendations and the benefits of breastfeeding, and the benefits of breastfeeding for more than a year. I talk about how your milk changes over time and how the experience of nursing definitely changes. PRO TIP: You guys, I spend so much time working on my show notes. Don't forget to check them out when you listen, because they are FULL of rabbit trails, articles, other podcast episodes, anything that has encouraged me or informed me on the subject at hand. 

If you're loving the podcast, please subscribe and leave an ​Apple podcast review​! It's really easy to type a few sentences in, and it helps more people find the fantastic information my guests are sharing with you all. 

What We're Eating

I feel like I gave myself a bit of a break in the past month and just made really simple meals. It helps when the weather is hot and all the good stuff is fresh and in-season! But I've been re-vamping my gluten-free sourdough starter after it spent a few too many weeks in the fridge (I mean, it was too hot to bake in August) and I made ​sourdough discard chocolate zucchini muffins​ and ​sourdough pumpkin chocolate chip cookies​ last week. The kids we skeptical, but ultimately appreciative of fall vegetables in their baked goods ;-)

Seasonal Recipe

This recipe is from my ​Nourished with Nuance​ cookbook and it's perfectly in season right now as I harvest a bumper crop of honeynut squash from our garden.

Autumn Pork Salad (makes 5 servings)

-20 ounces of cubed butternut squash -1.5 lbs pork tenderloin -2 Tbs olive oil for baking -2 Tbs olive oil for dressing salt and pepper -5 cups fresh arugula -3 Tbs lemon juice for dressing -2 ripe Asian pears, diced

1. Preheat oven to 425.
2. Toss the squash in olive oil, salt, and pepper andspread on a lined, rimmed baking sheet.
3. Pat the tenderloin dry and place on the other side of the baking sheet. Drizzle with olive oil and sprinkle with salt and pepper. (For additional flavor, you can sear the pork in a hot pan until all the sides are browned BEFORE baking, but this isn’t required).
4. Bake squash and pork for 20-25 minutes until pork’s internal temperature is 160 degrees. Remove from oven and let meat rest 5-10 minutes before cutting.
5. In a small bowl, whisk the lemon juice and 2 Tbs olive oil with salt and pepper to taste.
6. In a large bowl, combine the arugula and pears and toss in the homemade salad dressing.
7. Add cubed pork and roasted butternut squash and serve.

Milk + Motherhood: July 2023 (Moving Through Emotions and Growing Through Discomfort)

 I don't know about you, but I've had vacation FOMO this summer. We just didn't have the financial or energy reserves to travel this year, but I'm really itching for a change of scenery. The other day, we drove to a coffee shop 30 minutes away and found a little park and a library with toddler story time right across the street. It felt like a tiny little vacation for 3 hours and my heart really needed that time to connect with my kiddos instead of being distracted by the chaos they can cause at home. Getting out with young children is such double-edged sword and we didn't get much practice for a few years there with shutdowns and such. I feel like I'm having to grow those muscles again!

What I'm learning

Personally, I'm learning that I need to move through my emotions, even when it feels simpler to shut them down and go through the motions. I'm a highly emotional person, so I don't think I realize how much energy and effort it takes to just pretend everything is okay, or that it will be okay tomorrow after yet another night of broken sleep. I'm working on finding a new counselor here, but also on carving out time to be attentive to myself in this way on a daily basis.

Professionally, I'm just wrapping up the GOLD Lactation Conference for this year and I was SO thrilled to see so many presentations addressing state regulation in mom and baby. Watching 30+ hours of virtual conference content is a lot, but I feel reinvigorated about what I do and how I do it.

What I'm reading

In nonfiction, I just listened to the audio version of Clanlands: Whisky, Warfare, and a Scottish Adventure Like No Other. Sam and Graham are both stage-trained actors and they took turns narrating their writing. It was the perfect thing to listen to while deluttering our office in preparation for the coming homeschool year!

Speaking of homeschool, I lead our local Wild + Free group and finally finished reading The Call of the Wild and Free: Reclaiming the Wonder in Your Child’s Education. The last 20% was kind of lackluster, but the first 80% really reminded me why we chose to do this in the first place.

I am once again out of good fiction. If you have read something good lately, send it my way!

What I'm listening to

I feel like it's been a while since I wrote my June newsletter. Here are some podcast episodes I loved listening to between then and now:

​

• I have thus far avoided the Joe Rogan Podcast, but I finally listened to it when he interviewed RFK Jr recently. Politics aren't exactly my jam, but most of my adult life, I've struggled to understand why presidential candidates don't talk about real things for real. Every answer to every question is always so carefully crafted and ultimately meaningless. I found RFK Jr extremely refreshing. He said so many important things in this episode, including the fact that when mothers say something, we need to listen.

​

• ​Simple Farmhouse Life: Do Homemakers Have too Much Time on Their Hands? A friend recommended this one but due to the title alone, I went into it really resistant to the idea. I've been very very overwhelmed lately and feel like I can't even touch my to-do list due to just putting out daily fires. There are some things they said that I really don't resonate with (which is probably why I have 3 kids and not 8). However, there were other things that they said that were uncomfortable to hear because perhaps there was a grain of truth to it. I need to re-listen, but it did get me thinking about all of the things I'm doing that are NOT serving my time or my family well. It also really lit a fire under me to organize the 18 months worth of stuff that has accumulated during this most recent postpartum time.

​

• ​Motherhood Sessions: Mom's Not There When I Need Her - This was another uncomfortable but quick listen. It showed up on my recommended list and it kind of sounded like it could have been a recording of my own inner thoughts and struggles with work and motherhood right now.

​

• ​Grieving the Old Version of Yourself - I saved the best for last. In fact, I haven't even finished listening to this one and it's already leaving a major impact on me. Probably because I'm also in the midst of this very painful shift from early to middle motherhood and there's a surprising amount of grief involved. I don't agree with everything in Olivia's worldview, but I do think she's really insightful and it's clear that she's doing the work as she prepares to transition from single to married, and I think a lot of what she's learning can apply to all life transitions.

On my podcast

Last fall, I started a podcast called Milk + Motherhood and it's been so fun. Season 1 was focused on postpartum identity, recovery, and nutrition. Seson 2 is diving into more specialized subjects regarding postparutm and motherhood. Even if you don't listen, check out the shownotes for a wealth of additional information on these subjects. Here are the episodes I've published since my last newsletter:

23.) Does my Baby Really Need a Probiotic? with Tiny Health Founder Cheryl Sew Hoy ​

Spoiler alert: not all babies need probiotics and not all probiotics are helpful. I purchased Tiny Health tests for myself and my youngest kiddo and really loved their approach, so I sat down with Cheryl to talk about why she started this company and what she's learning. We also go through some of my test results and we talk about why random or broad-spectrum probiotics for a long period of time aren't always the best choice. 

24.) Responding with Grace when Motherhood Challenges Us with Peyton Berg​

Peyton and I initially planned to talk about "balancing" work and motherhood but we ended up covering a lot of ground in this conversation: how hard means different things to different people and comparison in motherhood isn't helpful, what it looks like to walk through a season of confusion when you thought you were doing the right thing and you didn't get the outcome you expected, discernment about alternative healing modalities, navigating the healthy living space as Christians, and the difference between spiritual and emotional health, and asking for and accepting help.

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If you're loving the podcast, please subscribe and leave an Apple podcast review! It's really easy to type a few sentences in, and it helps more people find the fantastic information my guests are sharing with you all. 

What We're Eating

I'm a big fan of meal planning and list-making, but in an effort to save on groceries and utilize the fresh stuff that's finally in season, I'm planning meals more loosely, based off of a grid of proteins, produce, and grains. If it's helpful over the next few weeks, I'll share the PDF with you all! 

Seasonal Recipe

This recipe is from my food allergy cookbook and it's so simple and refreshing in this hot, muggy weather.

Watermelon Cucumber Salad (makes 4-5 servings) -1 small watermelon, diced -1 large English cucumber, diced -1/4 cup (loosely packed) basil leaves, thinly sliced -juice of 2 limes -salt to taste Lightly toss the watermelon and cucumber. Top with basil, lime juice, and salt. Stir gently to combine and enjoy! ​ Breastfeeding and Postpartum Q and A You all ask such great questions on Instagram, but that platform doens't always allow for the most detailed answers. If you have a non-urgent breastfeeding or postpartum question that you'd like me to answer via the next newsletter, please hit reply and ask away! This month's question: "Why is my baby latching and unlatching constantly? She seems to want milk less often and sometimes I feel like I'm begging her to eat. Is this normal at 4 months?" This is a major developmental milestone and baby is much more aware of the world around her. The behavioral changes that come with this can be surprising and frustrating, especially if it took you longer than you thought it would to get into a good groove with breastfeeding. If breastfeeding was previously going well and these behaviors are kicking in, you can be assured it's very likely developmental. Your baby is realizing that a world exists beyond the distance between the two of you. She's going to twist and turn to check out sights and sounds, and often this means latching and un-latching OR nip-lash and biting. Sometimes feeding in a dim, quiet room helps a lot during this phase. Upright nursing in koala hold or a carrier can help a lot, too. Again, as long as weight gain and diapers remain normal, it can definitely be normal for baby to seem like she's eating less. Her brain is so busy right now. Keep offering 6-8 times a day, and expect some of those feedings to seem sub-par. If it helps, you can get a pre/post feeding weight at a breastfeeding support group (or at MilkWorks if you're local) for some reassurance. Her focus and hunger will likely come back with a vengeance between 5-6 months when this developmental leap has wrapped up. (I also have an Instagram highlight called "What to Expect" that talks about these kind of age-related changes in your breastfeeding relationship if you want to read more.) ​ Parting Thoughts Thank you so much for subscribing to this little missive, following me on social media, supporting my podcast, and using my affiliate links. I'm so grateful for this community and your support. ​

Milk + Motherhood: June 2023

If you’re new here, welcome! That means you recently signed up for my monthly newsletter, purchased an e-cookbook, or enrolled in our Nourished Beginnings breastfeeding course. 

I’m Therese Dansby: wife, mom of 3, homeschool educator, lactation consultant, postpartum doula, gardener, reader, writer, and Wild + Free group leader. 

I’m unapologetically vulnerable but not pessimistic about the struggles of motherhood and what I’ve learned as I move through these challenges. In fact, I have a whole podcast about this with guests talking about postpartum nutrition, mental health, bodywork, breastfeeding, and so much more. It’s called ​Milk + Motherhood​ and you can find it on all major podcast platforms!

Summer is in full swing here, and if you follow me on Instagram you may have already seen that I'm *gulp* taking June and July off of Instagram. It's a very risky move for a smlal business owner, but it's also a very clear prompting that I've been feeling for several months now, so I'm trusting that if God is calling me to it, he will get me through it. 

I'm still doing 1:1 consults and releasing 2-3 podcast interviews a month! I also recently started an affiliate program, so if you have my course or cookbooks, or you're a birth worker or other medical provider and you'd like to earn 10% commission for recommending the cookbooks or 20% commission for referring people to the breastfeeding and postpartum course, hit reply to this email to let me know and I'll get you set up! 

 What I'm learning

I'm gearing up for a "fun mom summer." One friend asked what that means, and while I used to love bucket lists when the kids were younger and we had a bunch of cool stuff nearby in the middle of the city, I'm not feeling that this summer. Instead, I want it to be my attitude that's fun. I'm aiming for connection, conversation, and really seeing my kids again instead of seeing them as obstacles in the way of my to-do list. I think this has been one of the biggest pros and cons of homeschooling for me: the kids are always around. Of course, homemaking and housekeeping have to happen, too. But I really want to work smarter, not harder in this regard and it starts with my attitude and priorities.

I'm also learning that contentment has to be cultivated and it's takes a lot of practice for me to learn this skill. I loved this quote I read from Charles Spurgeon recently: 

"They may have desired to live in the city, amid its life, society, and refinement, but they kept their appointed places, for they also were doing the king's work. The place of our habitation is fixed, and we are not to remove from it out of whim and caprice, but seek to serve the Lord in it, by being a blessing to those among whom we reside. These potters and gardeners had royal company, for they dwelt 'with the king' and although among hedges and plants, they dwelt with the king there. No lawful place, or gracious occupation, however mean, can debar us from communion with our divine Lord."

What I'm reading

In nonfiction, I just started  Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle  for the third time. But it's resonating with me so much that I know I'll finish it this time. I also appreciate that I can recognize this funk I've been in is burnout and sleep deprivation and not a flare-up of PMADs or some ambiguous health problem.

I have read some really bad fiction lately! Is it just me, or is it getting harder to find good books? I've read some highly-rated new releases and the characters are so politically correct and one-dimentional (aka boring) or the writing is filled with so much jargon that it's hard to take the author seriously. I FINALLY broke that streak (no pun intended) with the quick-paced tennis comeback novel,  Carrie Soto is Back  by Taylor Jenkins Reid. Reid is a truly phenomenal writer and her novels are filled with amazing insights without being sentimental. If you've never read anything she's written, you'll love the movie-like way that she writes. It's not written like a script, but her writing is fast-paced and easy to visualize. She also wrote The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, Daisey Jones and the Six, and more.

What I'm listening to

I like Abby Halberstadt's message, although sometimes I struggle a bit with how she presents it. HOWEVER, episode 16 of her M is for Mama podcast is so good. It's called  Identity in Christ, Not Struggles  and it's an interview with Ann Swindell about trichotillomania, which I struggle with and I never hear anyone talking about! So it was refreshing and encouraging and a good listen for anyone who has ever dealt with "a thorn in their side."

I'm also diving into new-t0-me podcast Quiet the Diet and I'm loving it. She interviews Liz Wolfe and Steph Gruenke on  the evolution of the paleo diet , and it's just a really sane conversation about diet trends, knowing what works for your body, and the difference between healthy eating and orthorexia.

On the podcast

Last fall, I started a podcast called  Milk + Motherhood  and it's been so fun. Season 1 was focused on postpartum identity, recovery, and nutrition. Seson 2 is diving into more specialized subjects regarding postparutm and motherhood. Even if you don't listen, check out the shownotes for a wealth of additional information on these subjects. Here's a review of the episodes I've published since my last newsletter:

20.)  Troubleshooting Pelvic Floor Problems with Physical Therapist Christina Walsh  - Christina (@tighten.your.tinkler) and I bounce back and forth talking about our own postpartum experiences, how they led us to the work we do, and how you are not alone if your pelvic floor doesn't feel the same postpartum. She answers so many listener questions and also shares hope for addressing your symptoms via the program she and her colleague, Jenn, have developed. Their program, Tighten Your Tinkler, is offered virtually and is backed by three years of academic research.

21.)  Sensory Overwhelm, Mom Friends, and Small Changes with author and counselor Amber Trueblood  - In this episode, Amber (@officialambertrueblood) and I have a really great conversation covering lots of ground: sensory overwhelm and how to handle it, anxiety styles and how knowing yours can affect your relationships, choosing empathy over comparison, the big impact of small changes, boundaries in motherhood, and more! She just released a book called The Unflustered Mom, so of course we talk about that too.

22.)  Dinnertime Decisions and Doing it All with bestselling cookbook author Cassy Joy Garcia  - This conversation with Cassy Joy Garcia (@fedandfit) was so encouraging to me. Even a professional cookbook author finds dinnertime difficult sometimes! In this interview, we talk about shifting priorities, how to make work time work with young children, asking for help, and our favorite dinner go-tos. Of course, we also talk about Cassy's second and third cookbooks and why they're perfect for this exact season of life that we are both in.

If you're loving my podcast, please subscribe and leave an  Apple podcast review ! It's really easy to type a few sentences in, and it helps more people find the fantastic information my guests are sharing with you all. 

What We're Eating

 Interviewing Cassy  a few weeks ago re-ignited my love for her cookbooks, so we're eating lots of recipes from Cook Once Eat All Week and Cook Once Dinner Fix (you can find these along with my other favortie cookbooks in my  Amazon storefront ). We recently found a week of meals we hadn't tried yet and the whole family was so excited for some new flavor profiles! 

But also, May was a really busy month so we relied on some of our favorite allergy-friendly snack staples: Macro Bars, GoodPop Freezer Pops, and Serenity Kid Pouches. We order a lot of these for cheaper on Thrive Marketplace and you can get 40% off your first order with  this link .

Seasonal Recipe

Our raspberry and blackberry plants are all flowering right now, so it's the perfect time of year to utilize the herbal benefits of berry leaves.  This cool article  shares some nutritional and medicinal benefits of various types of berry leaves. 

Berry Leaf Mineral Infuison (makes 2-3 servings)

--1 cup fresh red raspberry, blackberry, and/or strawberry leaves --1 liter of boiling water

1. Place the leaves into a 1 liter glass jar.
2. Pour the boiling water over the leaves.
3. Cover and jar and let steep for at least 4 hours or overnight. Note that this infusion may be lighter in color than one made from dried herbs.
4. Strain and refrigerate within 24 hours, and the infusion will be good for 48 hours total. 
5. Re-warm in the sun for a warm beverage, or sip on it iced!

Fruits and Roots and Fireflies

This is, somehow, our fourth summer in this house. The first summer, we were really just getting the lay of the land. The second summer, I was pregnant and yard work didn't happen. The third summer, I spent DAYS weeding to recover from the past year's neglect, and then we (Ross) tore up the garden beds and redesigned the garden space and laid a bunch of sod. This summer, we tore up an old RV pad taking up 1/4 of the yard and... now we have a pit of mud and weeds there. BUT the rest of the yard is... dreamy. It truly makes me so happy. The green, the smells, the dew in the mornings, the promise of bountiful things to come.

This winter was particularly long, cold, and snowy, so when spring finally cane, the wonderful succession from crocuses to daffodils to tulips to lilacs to asparagus to peonies to roses and strawberries has felt nothing short of miraculous. 

Of course, in this life season perhaps more than any other, it's not lost on me that small (and occasionally) large daily tasks are required to keep this progression running smoothly. For a few weeks, I was knocking asparagus beetles off my precious asparagus into soapy water every time I went outside. (One of those days, Isaac came to me crying... all wet... with dead beetles all over his shoulders, having mistaken the beetle cup for an innocent cup of water).

Then, of course, weeds always need to be pulled-- urgently in April when all the dandelions start to bloom, and constantly in little windows of 5 minutes here, 10 minutes there throughout the summer. Even the good plants that overwintered need tending to: pruning, fertilizing, watering, training. And of course the new ones need to be planted or transplanted and watered and tended until they're stronger. In a perfect world, we'd be seeding and feeding the lawn so it's healthier and more resistant to weeds. And moles. Maybe someday.

But for now, I'm reveling in the fruits of our labor thus far, and I'm reminded that big tasks get done in small, daily, consistent ways that don't feel like work in the way that a full day of yard work would. In fact, they almost feel... fun. They build gratitude. I'm hoping care breeds contentment. It benefits my body and spirit in ways I'll never understand to have my bare feet in the earth and bare shoulders to the sun (or, even better, to the dusk and the first fireflies of the year). I'm grateful to have this time to notice and to do the work of tending to a small plot of land: to pluck weeds while keeping one eye on Isaac. To stumble upon yet another one of Rosie's kitchen garden creations simmering away with water, mud, leaves, and flower petals. To see Noah reading in his de facto camp: flags, army tent, bike, Nerf guns, and all. Or to enjoy the silence while watering after the kids have gone to bed and to witness the first long awaited firefly signaling that seasons really do change and the world is bigger than I remember sometimes.