Dandelion Cookies and Screentime Convictions

 What I'm learning

It feels like a lifetime since I've sat down to write a monthly newsletter, and I guess it kind of has been. I had my 5+ hour endometriosis excision surgery mid-February and a quick follow-up surgery to remove a temporary GoreTex lining (to prevent adhesions) ten days after that. The month of February kind of disappeared in a haze of pain and bedrest. Returning to the real world in March was very tearful, emotional, and exhausting. I honestly felt like I had postpartum depression all over again. I feel like I'm over the worst of it, but I will eventually share this whole experience in a podcast episode for those who are wondering if they have endometriosis or are anticipating going through excision surgery. This whole journey (still ongoing) continues to teach me more and more about self-advocacy, expectations, and taking yourself seriously. I'm also working on being kind and gentle with myself, the way I would talk to a friend if she'd gone through the last 6 months I've gone through. It's a continuous work-in-progress.

What I'm reading

I read so much fiction while I was on bedrest, and ​Hello Stranger​ by Katherine Center was a real standout. It's hard to find something engaging, thought-provoking, slightly different, unpredictable (I TRULY did not see the twist in this book) and still easy to read. Highly recommend it! In non-fiction, I randomly grabbed ​Outdoor Kids in an Inside World​by Steve Rinella when I was at the library, and I'm so glad I did! I'm really hit or miss with non-fiction in this season of life, and this one was enjoyable and educational at the same time. I'm also working through ​Simplicity Parenting​. It's easy and enjoyable to read, but very through-provoking, so I'm taking it slow. As usual, I'm learning about myself as much as I'm learning about my kids as I read this parenting book!

What I'm listening to

Okay I started listening to the ​MoNews​ podcast last fall and I feel so adult about it. For years, I just didn't listen to the news because it was so biased and alarming... but then I was just getting news from Instagram which was even worse! This podcast is truly unbiased, and the elderly millennial jokes are an added bonus. I've also been on an Andrew Peterson kick lately, particularly the ​Burning Edge of Dawn ​album. Worth a listen if you're in a hard season but still know you need the Gospel. Finally, these 2 recent episodes of the 1000 Hours Outside podcast have really given me a lot of food for thought about slowing down and about my own use of screens in lieu of actual self-care and simplification: ​The Internet is Forever, but Your Children are only Children for a Little While​ ​The Undeclared War on Childhood​

On my podcast

​Milk + Motherhood​ got a makeover last month! Check out the new podcast cover in your favorite listening app. The pod is on hiatus right now, but if you subscribe you'll be the first to know when the next episode comes out! I did record a bonus episode last month, though, with my perinatal counselor friend Stephanie Risinger. We talk about that silly Washington Post article that came out a few weeks ago about women getting off the birth control pill amidst "misinformation explosion." We had some things to say, and you can ​listen here​.

What We're Eating

I'm not generally a huge salad person, but have been craving them lately. This ​Roasted Peanut Kale Crunch Salad​ was a hit with the whole family! I also recently found some chili lime salmon skewers at Costco that only had a few simple ingredients. Miraculously, all the kids ate it! Very few semi-homemade foods are safe with our various food allergies, so this was a huge win.

Seasonal Recipe If you have an unsprayed yard, send your kids out to pick yellow dandelion heads. You'll have to twist the petals out for the recipe, but it doesn't take long. Technically, dandelion flowers are high in antioxidants, beta-carotene, and Vitamins C, K, and E. But mostly it's a really fun way to involve your kids in foraging and local food. The cookies taste like lemon shortbread, but with the added visual effect of florals!

Dandelion Shortbread Cookies 1 cup of butter, softened 1/2 cup sugar 1/2 to 1 cup dandelion petals 1 tsp lemon zest 2 1/2 cups Bob's Red Bill 1:1 Gluten-Free flour (or regular AP flour) 1 pinch salt

Cream the butter and sugar together until fluffy, stir in the dandelions and lemon zest until smooth. Add flour and salt and mix well. Roll out to desired thickness (mine were about 2-3cm thick) and cut into desired shapes. Bake at 325 for 20-25 minutes.

Supplement Spotlight

Supplements should always be just that... supplemental to your diet and lifestyle. Over the years I've spent a lot of money of supplements that were either sub-par or not right for me. So when I find a good one that actually works, I love to share! Please know that any time I share an affiliate link or code, it's from a product I purchased myself, loved, and then reached out to the company for a discount code. I will never promote something I don't regularly spend my own money on, and the affiliate links allow you to get a discount if it's something you want to try as well! This month, I started regularly taking ​WishGarden's Rebalance tincture​ for postpartum hormones. I realized I took it for a few weeks after surgery but then stopped for a while, and I also kind of fell apart for a while. Maybe a coincidence, maybe not. But the St. John's Wort and Motherwort help my mood pretty quickly, and I know the other herbs are helping with healing and stabilization. I recently reached out to them and they generously gave me a 20% off code for you all! Just use the code HAPPYMAMA at checkout.

Milk and Motherhood January 2024: layers, marshmallows, and memoir

 What I'm learning

The last few months have been triggering a lot of past memories and tender parts of my story in ways that I never could have planned. Things like getting an iron infusion on the anniversary of when I got emergently admitted to the hospital for postpartum blood transfusions. Having a crazy blizzard 5 years to the day when I received some life-changing bad news, also on the night of a crazy blizzard. Lots of things I thought I'd dealt with have come to the surface in new ways. After the initial freakout, I'm growing to see it all as an opportunity for more healing on a deeper level, instead of telling myself all my work has been for naught. Turns out Shrek was right and we all have layers, like onions (sorry if that reference just outed me as a geriatric millenial).

What I'm reading

If you're an Anne of Green Gables fan, do not miss out on ​Marilla of Green Gables​. Neither the cover nor the description does justice to this book. It was such an enjoyable read. (Trigger warning: Marilla's mother dies in childbirth but the scene is brief and not glamorized or gratuitous.)

In non-fiction, I just re-read the ​Art of Memoir​. I really love writing and I've been working on a book manuscript. If it never goes anywhere, it will still have been healing to write it and Karr's thoughts on how and why memoir is powerful makes so much sense to me.

What I'm listening to

Like most of us, I go through phases with podcasts. I haven't been able to listen to many recently. Sub-zero temps, two blizzards, and major cabin fever have left me with very little uninterrupted time this month. I find myself listening to old playlists or ​Sandra McCracken's Psalms​ album often.

However, ​this episode​ of the Bare Marriage podcast came out a few days ago and it articulates so many things that my husband and I have been working through with parenting our third kiddo as more of a team. I can't say I wholeheartedly stand behind this podcast as a whole, mostly because the main host drives me slightly crazy (I appreciate her message but not her delivery of it). BUT the three other people on ​this episode about letting men be dads​ are GOLD. Very thought-provoking. I want to hear what you think when you listen!

On my podcast

I started my own podcast called ​Milk + Motherhood​ in October 2022. It's on hiatus right now, but if you subscribe you'll be the first to know when the next episode comes out! Next week, I'm finally chatting with my friend Melanie (a fellow IBCLC) for the weaning episode we have had to reschedule way too many times! If you have questions about weaning, hit reply to this email and we will be sure to address them.

In the meantime, did you hear me on the ​Innate Wisdom Podcast​ last month? I was definitely in a spicy mood when we recorded and we cover a lot of ground!

What We're Eating

1.) I hate cooking right now. My youngest is at, like, peak toddlerhood shenanigans having just turned 2. It is so adorable and hilarious and I am already preemptively aching for how much I'll miss this season when it's gone. But also, I will not for one minute miss dinnertime with a toddler who is either crawling on every surface in the kitchen, putting himself in danger while I cook, or else screaming because I've locked him out of the kitchen. We are eating old standbys like spaghetti with meat sauce, sheet pan nachos, and Kevin's sous vide meals with rice. Anything quick and mindless.

2.) I just re-ordered some ​Mama Meals​ because I appreciated them so much after my surgery in November. I'm most excited about the shatavari rice pudding and the lactation brownies. These meals are nutrient-dense, organic, PUFA-free... honestly everything I strive to be in my own kitchen, but shipped to you in frozen portions to heat up at your leisure when you're needing to rest and recover. Ideal for postpartum, but I figure my upcoming endometriosis excision surgery is definitely going to be similar to PP recovery. I actually chatted with the owners recently and got an affiliate code for you: ​HAPPYMAMA20​ will get you $20 off your first order!

Seasonal Recipe

It's hot chocolate season! Homemade marshmallows melt wonderfully in hot drinks this time of year, and they're easier to make than you might think:

1 cup of water, divided 3 Tbs ​Perfect Supplements​ gelatin* 1/2 cup maple syrup 1/2 cup sugar 2 tsp vanilla extract 1/4 tsp salt 1.) Line an 8x8 or 9x9 square pan with parchment paper.

2.) Put 1/2 cup of the water in a small saucepan and 1/2 cup in a mixing bowl. 3.) Sprinkle the gelatin powder evenly over the surface of the water in the bowl and wait several minutes for it to "bloom," or soak up some of the water. 4.) Meanwhile, turn the stove top on low and heat the remaining water and the maple syrup. When they're just below a simmer, dissolve the sugar in the saucepan and add the vanilla and salt. Stir the warm mixture until smooth. 5.) Slowly pour the warm mixture into the gelatin + water mixture while stirring gently with an electric mixer. Slowly turn the mixer up to high speed (you'll need a kitchen towel for a splatter guard) and mix for about 15 minutes. The fluff should be smooth and stick upside down on a spoon when you swipe some out of the bowl. If it's runny, it's not mixed enough. If it's lumpy, you overmixed (but they still taste delicious, so proceed anyway and make a note for next time). 6.) Quickly use a spatula to scoop the fluff from the mixing bowl and into the lined pan and smooth the top. They start to solidify quickly, so it takes some practice to make this look cute. You can either leave on the countertop for a few hours, or place in the fridge for 30 minutes or so before cutting. 

*I love ​Perfect Supplements​ because it's glyphosate-free and grass-fed. Code HAPPYMAMA10 gets you 10% off!

Parting Thoughts

Thank you so much for subscribing to this little missive, following me on social media, supporting my podcast, and using my affiliate links. I'm so grateful for this community and your support. 

M + M: December 2023 (The Hopes and Fears of All the Years)

As has been the trends this fall, I started this email last month and I'm finally sending it out this month! I had surgery 2.5 weeks ago and recovery has been a little rougher than I anticipated. Exacerbated, I think, by the fact that I have to do this two more times in February and that feels a little intimidating. But I think it will be worth it. I have dealt with truly awful pain for about 1/3 of the month for most of my adult life, but particularly in the last 5 years. I truly feel like I tried everything holistic I possibly could and I finally just realized I'd tried it all, and feeling like this was unsustainable. So I took myself and my lingering health issues to a NaPro surgeon. I had a D & C that did intentify/help remove some of my bleeding issues, and I also asked her to do a laparoscopy while I was under anesthesia because I was already committed to the process.

She found severe endometriosis as well as herniated round ligaments. Which not only explains why I was in so much pain monthly, but also explains why I was in so much pain with my last pregnancy, and why bodywork, stretching, spinning babies, etc consistency make me feel worse (I cringe every time I think how I was stretching an already torn and overstretched ligament!) I actually initially drafted a whole email about gaslighting and both allopathic and holistic providers kind of shaming your symptoms instead of taking them seriously or referring you on. But I realized that it required too much nuance, so into the podcast drafts folder it goes!

What I'm learning

What I've learned through all of this is that, of course, health is more complex than any one provider can give it credit for. Trauma, history, genetics, environment, diet, nutrition, mindset, community. It all plays a part. And each part might need something different to heal. What's helping me right now happens to be two surgeons coordinating an 8 hour robotic surgery to remove things that shouldn't be there and repair things that should. 

I'm anxious, but weirdly relieved. An endo diagnosis has been a long time in coming and it's so validating. I also feel like I'm far enough into ownership over my own health that having a diagnosis like this doesn't feel too overwhelming or victimizing. The endo surgeon asked me prior to surgery if I had specific pain points and I gave her some detailed diagrams. Every point but one of them can be explained by large endometriosis lesions or the round ligament damage. I'm glad I finally accepted that I didn't want to be in this much pain forever, and that it wasn't a normal amount of pain, regardless of what I told myself for a long time.

What I'm reading

Ahhhhh I finally returned two overdue books to the library, so my Libby account has been unlocked. I was an avid books-only reader until about 3 years ago, and I have to admit that reading on my Kindle is a game-changer with small kids in the home! 

Good fiction can teach us so much about ourselves and the world. It doesn't even have to be stuffy literary fiction! I recently highlighted so many insightful passages in Emily Henry's ​Happy Place​. In non-fiction, I finally finished ​What Happened to You?​ I really didn't like Oprah's side of the conversation... it didn't seem to add value to the book as a whole. However, Dr. Bruce Perry does a really great job of breaking down what trauma is, how it affect us, and how we move through it. I really appreciated his segments.

This isn't quiiiiiite what I'm reading right now, but I read ​Daisy Jones and the Six​ a few years ago. If you haven't gotten into Taylor Jenkins Reid yet, I highly recommend her novels. I was skeptical when I heard a limited TV series was coming out with an adaptation, but I started watching Daisy Jones and the Six while recovering post-op, and WOW. I guess it has a bunch of Golden Globes nominations, so I'm not alone in thinking the acting is truly phenomenal and the filmography is stunning. It might be the only time I've ever said the screen version was better than the book!

What I'm listening to

I've listened to a lot of podcasts this month, driving to appointments and doing food prep. Here are my favorites:

• ​The Emotional Impact of Divorce, part 1​ on the Bravewriter podcast. No, I'm not getting divorced. Although I was close to it this time 5 years ago. However, we all know someone who has been affected by divorce. Julie (the podcast host) is in her 50s with grown children and she's active in AlAnon recovery. She's also the most realistic homeschool podcaster I listen to. So I knew she'd have some great insights about marriage, parenting, and school choice in this episode, and I was right. Can't wait to listen to part 2!
• ​How to Make the Rest of 2023 Easier​ on the Lazy Genius podcast. Once of the lazy genius principles is Knowing Your Season, and for a long time, I knew that even the simple, straightforward advice that Kendra offers would be too overwhelming. However, I've been back on the Lazy Genius train lately. Even if I'm not truly implementing what she talks about, I always appreciate the points she brings up and it allows me to think through whatever current challenge she's discussing, even if I don't sit and journal through it.

On my podcast

I started a podcast called ​Milk + Motherhood​ last October. Season 1 was focused on postpartum identity, recovery, and nutrition. Seson 2 is dove into more specialized subjects regarding postparutm and motherhood. Season 3 is coming this spring!

Even if you don't listen, check out the shownotes for a wealth of additional information on subjects like postpartum nutrition and biologically normal infant sleep. Spotify wrap-ups just told me these were your favorite episodes in the past year:

--​ Wise Traditions in Early Motherhood with Sally Fallon​ -- ​What to Expect When You Were Expecting to Sleep Like a Baby with Taylor Kulik​ -- ​Breastfeeding a Baby with Food Allergies with Dr. Trill​ If you're loving the podcast, please subscribe and leave an ​Apple podcast review​! It's really easy to type a few sentences in, and it helps more people find the fantastic information my guests are sharing with you all. I also love it when you screenshot the episode you're listening to and tag me in your Instagram stories (@happy.mama.healthy.baby)

What We're Eating

You all got my freezer meal freebie when you signed up for this newsletter, and if you haven't opened it yet, you're missing out. This is helpful for any busy life season, not just postpartum. I made about half a dozen of these meals to prepare for my surgery and it was so helpful because I was more down and out than I anticipated. Will absolutely be doing this again in February.

I also ordered a few frozen meals from ​Mama Meals​ to eat for lunch those first two weeks post-op and I was so happy with them! Totally wish they'd been a postpartum option for me, but I will absolutely be using them again post-op.

Seasonal Recipe

Do you eat cinnamon rolls on Christmas? It was my family's tradition growing up, and I've stuck to it with my kids. But going gluten free and then, at various points with various kids, dairy free and egg free, it's felt like an impossible task some years and we've had some pretty sub-par cinnamon roll attempts. Last Easter, I found this recipe and I remember LOVING IT. Just got my brown rice starter out of the fridge, and I'm hoping ​these cinnamon rolls​ are as good as I remember!

Parting Thoughts

Thank you so much for subscribing to this little missive, following me on social media, supporting my podcast, and using my affiliate links. I'm so grateful for this community and your support.

M + M: October 2023 (Fall... and Falling)

Our October started off with a bang. Our toddler loves moving chairs all over the house to get over the baby gates he's not able to just scramble over, so we bought a solid wood picnic table to put in the dining room for a while. While we were unloading the table, said toddler tried to "help" while our backs were turned, and pulled the table top entirely onto himself. What could have been very tragic ended up being a wild ride. In an ambulance. Separated from my baby with a head injury of unknown severity.

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After hours in the ER, it turned out he had a broken brow bone and elbow, but no brain bleeding or swelling. No spinal cord injury. No abdominal injuries. We stayed overnight for pain relief, got an arm cast 48 hours later, and have had tons of follow-ups. But he got his cast off yesterday, and we have our big appointments with ophthalmology and plastic surgery next week, and now somehow October is almost over.
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The whole ordeal has been stressful and very expensive (the $99 picnic table that actually cost $40,000) but since my son is still his usual feisty self, the aftermath of this finds me with a sense of relief. I usually tend to think, "yes it could have been worse, but please validate what I AM feeling about what DID happen." But this time, it's just pure relief for some reason.

What I'm learning

In light of the above story, I'm solidifying some of the vague feelings of shifting life seasons and gratitude for what I do have. As we emerge from a solid 5 years of hard thing after hard thing, traumatic event after traumatic event, I find myself with the old temptation to look back and dissect it all to make sense of it. To define when this season starts and ends. To prove to other people that it's been hard.
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But these days, I just have to say about 3 sentences to my new counselor and see the look on her fact to know that this season has been hard by all accounts and my emotions are proportional to what went down. I don't need the world to know my story or to care, but a few compassionate witnesses makes all the difference.
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The cloudy weather today reminds me that I'll never fully make sense of the dark seasons. And more will certainly come and go. The hazy borders don't make the clouds less real. But I also don't need to manufacture grey skies when they're not there to prove that they were there at one point.
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All I've had energy for this month is putting one foot in front of the other and enjoying the sun when it shines. Maybe someday there will be a beach vacation. For now, treading water feels like a relief compared to drowning.
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"How kind is weariness sometimes! It is like the Father's hand laid a little heavy on the heart to make it still." George MacDonald

What I'm reading

My reading life had been a bit of a bummer this month. Partly because my Libby account is locked down thanks to overdue library books! Like, I think I re-read some novels that were on my Kindle, but nothing new or life-changing. I have been reading Hard is Not the Same as Bad for my book club, but I'm not a fan, so I'm not even going to link to that ;-)

What I'm listening to

Again listening to anything requiring brainpower was put on hold for most of this month:

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• I've actually been listening to lots of music, and cautiously starting to praise and celebrate more that way. If you have Spotify, you can listen to my current playlist HERE.

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• ​Anemia, Iron Deficiency, and IV Iron on the Curbsiders Internal Medicine Podcast. My Nurse Practitioner friend Karin shared this with me, since I've been diving into iron this past year. She and I will eventually talk about this on my own podcast, because WOW there's a lot of bad information and advice on both sides of the iron debates on social media.

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• ​Are We in a Pre War Era? on the Honestly podcast. I'm not usually one for politics or current events, but I find this podcast to be more... honest than most news outlets. I appreciate the variety of perspectives, and this one was really good. It came out this summer, but I listened to it a few days after the recent devastating Israel/Hamas conflicts began and found it to be really enlightening.

On my podcast

Happy one year birthday to my podcast!!! I started a podcast called Milk + Motherhood last October. Season 1 was focused on postpartum identity, recovery, and nutrition. Seson 2 is diving into more specialized subjects regarding postparutm and motherhood. 

Even if you don't listen, check out the shownotes for a wealth of additional information on these subjects. I actually haven't had any new ones this month! I had meant to get a weaning episode out to wrap up season 2, but obviously this month got a little crazier than normal. However, here are some of my favorites (and yours) from the past year:

2.) The Birth of a Mother with Amanda Radan​
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My herbalist friend Amanda was my first guest. She says, "Matrescence is the change that happens between who you are and who you're becoming. Adolescence takes years and your body changes, your hormones change, what you like and dislike changes, and how you act and see the world changes. The same goes for matrescence. The only difference is, there's a clear start to matrescence: birth."

6.) Minerals + Motherhood with Amanda Montalvo​

This is a crowd favorite, where Amanda (@HormoneHealingRD) and I chat about how mom's mineral status may or may not affect breastmilk. I love that Amanda's approach to this is intuitive and not rule- or fear-based: "Just be mindful of any lab testing. It's only going to get you so far. I think it can be helpful, but if it's not going to change what you're currently doing, if you don't have the capacity to change what you're doing, the test might only add stress and not help right now... Our bodies are so intelligent. At some point we have to drop in and listen to what our bodies actually need. Ultimately, you have to do the best with what you have. It's easy to want to focus and control and fixate on food, but what else are you giving your baby? We give them nourishment in so many other ways."

23.) Does my Baby Really Need a Probiotic? With Cheryl Sew Hoy​
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One of the most frequent DM questions I get is some variation of, "My baby has eczema/mucousy poop/food allergies/colic... what's the best probiotic?" I finally recorded an entire podcast with extensive resources in the show notes send people when they ask this question. 
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In short, you may not need probiotics at all, and if you do, there's no way to know which strains you need without testing. Taking the wrong strain will be expensive poop at best, and problematic at worst. This is my fourth most-listened to episode because many natural health practitioners tout the benefits of certain brands of probiotics, but a one-size-fits-all approach can leave moms pretty confused as to what's best for THEIR baby's needs.

Tiny Health is having a SALE right now, too! Their baseline kit is $199 and it INCLUDES a very in-depth report. This is much cheaper than other types of GI testing with holistic practitioners. However, for those who want even more information, or learn better through interaction, there's now an option to add-on a call with a functional health practitioner. This package will be $249 after October 31, but for right now it's $199. This means the functional consult is free, PLUS you get an additional $20 off with my code HAPPYMAMA20.
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If you're loving the podcast, please subscribe and leave an Apple podcast review! It's really easy to type a few sentences in, and it helps more people find the fantastic information my guests are sharing with you all. 

What We're Eating

I... don't even know. I always resort to Cook Once Dinner Fix when life is crazy, which has definitely been the case this month.

Seasonal Recipe

Our neighbors gifted us a bunch of green apples, so we recently made our favorite apple pie! I use Wholly Gluten Free frozen pie crust + this filling recipe and it's so good thanks to the secret ingredient: apple juice or cider! (I use arrowroot powder in place of corn starch). Parting Thoughts Thank you so much for subscribing to this little missive, following me on social media, supporting my podcast, and using my affiliate links. I'm so grateful for this community and your support. ​ As always, please share with me what you're loving and learning right now! If you hit reply to this email, your note will come straight to my inbox <3 See you next month, Therese Dansby, RN, IBCLC ​