Thursday, November 11, 2021

36 weeks and 36 years old

At 36 weeks I can officially deliver at the local hospital down the street, and and 37 weeks I can safely deliver with my midwife at home. Basically, I've been counting down the days. In the meantime, I taught my last pre-baby Newborn Care and Breastfeeding classes and I'm alternately "over" pregnancy and slightly freaking out that this baby is growing by the day and has to somehow *gulp* get from there to here. It is immensely reassuring knowing my body has done this before. But also, it's a freaking fantastic achievement and a lot of hard work! It's all fun and games when the bump is tiny. These days it feels like I might just pop open at the belly button, he's getting so big. I actually measured two weeks ahead at my last appointment. I'm sincerely hoping there was some user error with the tape measure or he was just stretching out. I'm perfectly happy with another baby in the 7 pound range!

I was looking back at my pregnancies with Noah and Rosie and remembering that life was majorly stressful at this time. Between 36-37 weeks with Noah, we were just moving into our still-under-construction house after living out of suitcases with family for a month! At this same time with Rosie, Ross was getting a last-minute knee surgery and narrowly avoided cardioversion and a night in the CICU. It's no wonder I was anxious for a few more weeks of baby tucked inside!

This time, no such story. Everything I have left to do will be *easier* when I can bend at the waist and move around like my normal self. I'm so grateful for a normal experience and now I have a little more empathy for women who are impatient at the end of pregnancy. Because somehow, here we are. Approaching the end of this journey and this season of life.

Time feels so slippery and elusive these days. I'm slowly surrendering to the messes that aren't going to get organized and walls that aren't going to get painted (urgh) and instead wrapping up some mental and emotional loose ends. I still need to write letters to the kids before the baby arrives. I had one last in-person lactation consult, and I have a BIG podcast interview on Friday. Then... maternity leave. And then... baby. I had a bit of a scare on Monday this week with some painful cramping. Never figured out what was going on, but it made the impending arrival a LOT more real.

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