Foiled Again

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed yesterday. We were house/puppy/teenager sitting and the needy puppy, late nights, and ridiculous number of allergens in that house were wreaking havoc on my sleep and my mood. I actually held it together pretty well until Sunday morning when I didn't get cancelled from work and instead of going to some special babies' birthday party, I had to go to work and get my assignment back for the third day in a row.

I read Ephesians 4:26 when I woke up yesterday. "In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold." I grumped, "hmmm that's nice. We'll see." Well, I didn't let the sun go down while I was angry, but I spent the majority of the daylight hours angry and impatient.

You guys, I love babies as much as the next NICU nurse, so it's seriously humbling to get so easily frustrated with a writing, screeching, sweating baby who pulls out his own IVs and only sleeps about 45 minutes total during my entire 12-hour shift. His behavior escalated over the weekend and I was not proud of how I handled it. Every time I went into his room, I wanted to scream:

Have you heard of this book? It's not meant for children. I think I've earned a copy.

This morning in the silence of my bedroom, I read all of Ephesians 4:
-be made new in the attitude of your minds
-in your anger, do not sin
-don't let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building up others according to their needs
-get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger
-be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you

And just like that, it goes full-circle. Extent kindness forward because of the kindness you've been given from God when you least deserved it. While I was still a sinner, Christ died for me. You'd think I would make a little more effort to live my life in thanksgiving of that fact. Or pray for patience all the livelong day since I don't have much of it to go around.