I kind of remember this from before, but as I emerge from the yuckiest parts of the first trimester, time starts to speed up! I'm kind of okay with it... for now. But A LOT has happened in the last few weeks! Between 10 and 11 weeks, we found out IT'S A BOY! Per usual with the other kids, it took me a few days to wrap my head around the news. I think it was my mom who told me that at first, it's almost like you're pregnant with a boy AND a girl. And when you find out definitively it's one or the other, you grieve what it's not even while being happy for what it is. And it IS a boy! So weird finding out this early, but genetic test was loud and clear. More importantly, the genetic test was negative for trisomies, common gene deletions, and a few other things which is FANTASTIC news!
More than anything, what I'm realizing is that's it's been so long since I've been pregnant I've legitimately forgotten what it feels like. I feel like I didn't really look or *feel* pregnant (aside from nausea and fatigue) for ten weeks, and then all of the sudden my belly just POPPED one day between 11-12 weeks and now it's pretty clear. But my belly doesn't FEEL large or in the way yet, so it's always a surprise to see that my stomach is not flat in the mirror. Not sure I'm conveying that well. But even though I have blog posts from the other kids, I don't remember what it FEELS like to be 13 weeks pregnant, so it's like experiencing everything for the first time gain. Which is kind of awe-inspiring and fun to experience. This also really does feel (from what I can remember) the most like my pregnancy with Noah, which is interesting. Except I look way more pregnant at 13 weeks with the fourth (sixth) baby than I did at 13 weeks with the first (second)!
We've also pretty much told everyone at this point, both that we are having a baby and, if we've seen them recently, that it's a boy. It's been fun to let the kids tell people and see how excited they are. They also went to my 12 week appointment with me to see baby on ultrasound! He legitimately waved at them! I'm pretty sure Noah and Rosie kind of understood what they were seeing, but Isaac said, "it was hard to see in black and white." Honestly, ultrasounds are kind of tricky so it get it. But I think he was little bummed he didn't SEE the baby.
I've also felt him move a handful of times! Only once or twice a week the last 2-3 weeks, but it's like a full-body roll or something. I cannot wait until I feel movements more consistently and have some daily reassurance that all is well.
Pregnancy is such a gift and sometimes I feel that it's too good to be true. But I also know a baby is a lot of work and going through this season again will bless and strengthen and sanctify us all over again, all at once.
My nausea is less frequent now, and I can tell I'm almost out of the first trimester!!! Ross and I traveled to San Diego for a marriage conference this week. It was a short trip, and hard emotional work, but such a full-circle moment given that we went on a babymoon to San Diego when I was pregnant with Noah 12 1/2 years ago! It was sooooo nice to have sun and sea and food made for me.
Now back to real life and the homeschool year (it was the best decision ever to soft launch with Shakespeare and math two weeks ago). Isaac started preschool again today and the big kids start co-op next week. Next year, I'm realizing I will have a child in each co-op level AND a baby at home! Full hands, full heart.
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