Baby doubled in size this past week, from the length of a sesame seed to the diameter of a pea. Baby's heart also started beating within the last few days! Some of my symptoms, like insomnia and feeling short of breath, are starting to improve. I'm really working on capacity-maxing and I get frustrated when days like yesterday sweep me up in the busyness and then I wonder why I am SO TIRED the next morning.
I'm learning a lot about how I run my life right now, and thinking about what my busy-ness is actually stifling or masking in terms of creativity. Kori Meloy says, "moms who drive the 'busy' program as a means of feeling more worthiness and productivity are actually here to be productive and create something worthwhile. It's just being channeled differently... instead of channeling that creativity into something beautiful, (these women) overstuff their schedules as a means to build up their own blocks. They will still search for the feelings of purpose productivity, and worthiness, but through martyrdom instead of their true identity." Michale Chatham says that women are always creating something, pay attention to what it is: drama, chaos, children, beauty? Recognize and own it.
In this season, I'm happy to be creating life. In my body, but also in my home. Really excited to plan a life-giving homeschool year and focus more on relationships and less on busy-ness in the name of FOMO or "opportunities." We are far enough into homeschool (starting our seventh year) that I'm starting to have a sense of what really does work and what doesn't, and also accepting that what works for Noah is a little different than what works for Rosie. Grateful that this year they have Truth and Beauty on Tuesdays and Isaac has preschool Tuesday/Thursday morning. I will NOT fill Tuesday mornings with appointments and work. I'm determined to use it to sort through baby clothes, papers, clutter, etc so I'm minimized and organized by Thanksgiving. AND Ross is going to drop Noah and Rosie off at their co-op friend's house on Tuesday mornings and I'm going to pick all the kids up Tuesday afternoon and take their friend home on our way home, so it's much less driving than me going both ways twice a day, and Ross can actually work full days. What a GIFT!
First trimester: May 20 - August 25 (what amazing timing to get to do this "hard" part during my favorite time of year, and to be done with first tri by the time we are getting into the school year!)
Second trimester: August 26 - December 1 (20 weeks on Oct 7)
Third trimester: December 2 (Isaac's due date lol) - February 24
Praise God, I'm not really struggling with nausea right now, but I've definitely noticed the heightened sense of taste and smell. This past week I was making a frozen pizza for the kids and my mouth started WATERING when I smelled it cooking. So I had two pieces dipped in Toby's yogurt ranch dressing and... wow it was good. I forgot how GOOD food tastes when it's a pregnancy craving fulfilled. There's nothing like it! What a gift to experience this little joy again.
I made a few freezer meals the week I found out I was pregnant, in the event of nausea and exhaustion, but so far haven't needed them! This 30 day challenge coinciding with the first trimester has been interesting. I worked a 12 hour hospital shift this past Saturday, and Sunday morning I went on a 7:30am walk with my friend Lauren at the park. I was shocked at how much energy I had the rest of the day! Who knows if it was the sunrise or the camaraderie or the physical exertion, but usually I'm pretty tired after working at the hospital. But Sunday I spent the whole afternoon cleaning and sorting my bedroom!
Apparently nesting is already starting! There's certainly a lot of wrap my head around with "starting over" with the baby stage again, but man I think the big kids are going to be just as psyched as Ross and I are.
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