...of mice and men, often go astray. I am no longer going to India on a mission trip this February. Although to be fair, it was never the best laid plan on my part.
In a nutshell, I had switched to my married name everywhere except on my passport. I didn't need my passport this fall (after all, I've only been outside the United States 3 times!), and then I was lazy and waited until after the holidays to get around to it. However, the February 11 departure date looks a lot closer from this side of December! I ran around last Friday morning (after working all night) getting a new passport picture (and going back again for a zoomed in version), gathering all the necessary paperwork, and waiting in line at the Post Office. I paid an arm and a leg to expedite the thing, but the lady behind the counter said I still might not have it in 4 weeks in time to get a Visa. (FYI, the trip was only for 11 days but apparently you need a Visa any time you go to India for any reason).
The passport stress combined with night shift stress/paranoia/breakdown combined with the fact that I'm really only now getting normal-sized paychecks again led me to send several panicked e-mails to the mission trip coordinator. Apparently, I'm very convincing when I'm having a breakdown because she said she no longer felt that I should go on the trip and she'd try to find some other nurses who were interested in going. I told her that was probably a good idea. If another nurse wanted to take my place, great! If not, then I'd hope and pray that my passport arrived in time.
This past Monday was the last day to change names on the plane tickets, and the coordinator found someone to take my place. After all my panicking, I suddenly wanted to cry. For some reason, I know lots of people who have been to India lately and I keep hearing about it! Now I'm really upset I'm missing this opportunity. It makes me feel sick to know that I was thisclose to going to India. For $2100! (Actually, subtract my $800 scholarship from that-- even better!).
Now all my worries about the timing of the trip keeping me from getting into a routine here after the holidays and back on a budget seem trivial. Now I'm thinking it'd be so great to get away from this goshdarn ARCTIC COLD come February when everyone's ready for spring. I never studied abroad, I never traveled after graduation, I should have taken such a great opportunity and not wimped out just because the timing isn't perfect, right?!
Which brings me to my question, how do you know this is God's way of talking to you, and how do you know you made the wrong decision/avoided making a decision to the point that it was made for you?
By the way, my brand new Passport arrived on our doorstep yesterday. And it only takes 1 week to get the Visa.