37 weeks

Dear Baby Boy,

Time is simply flying as we (by we, I really mean Ross because I simply cannot bend at the waist or get up and down off the floor repeatedly anymore) try to cram in as much house work as possible before you get here. We want a safe, happy, and functional house to bring you home to. In part because we've simply been so busy, I cannot believe that your arrival is imminent. I mean, it could technically be as much as 5 weeks away, but I doubt you'll be two weeks overdue (famous last words?).

I have loved being pregnant with you, although I struggle with how to grasp the fleeting reality of this time. Honestly at this point I'm fine if you make it to your due date or beyond, because that means more time with you squirming away inside of me. September seems like YEARS ago, and I can't believe we've been inseparable all this time. You've been with me during a complete whirlwind of a season. Just when I think life can't get more chaotic, it does! In last 8.5 months, you've been with me as I underwent the stress of starting not just one, but two new jobs simultaneously. We lost Grandma Ginny over the course of one long, sleepless, emotional week. We bought a house. Said house turned out to be a POS. Moving time came right about the same time that pregnancy started getting uncomfortable. We lived at Tommy's house for three weeks, and at Aunt Theresa's house for a week. We moved into a construction-zone house. We've eaten takeout, sandwiches, and otherwise non-homemade food for the past two months and for that I am MOST sincerely sorry. It doesn't make my stomach feel good and I don't like that I'm not feeding you fruit or vegetables on a regular basis. I hope eating crappy food doesn't make you feel crappy, too! Believe me, I'm just as tired of it as you are!

I hate that you seem to be really active in the afternoons when I'm at work, and I have to push you out of my ribcage and keep working, instead of being able to sit back and enjoy your squirming. I want to memorize all of your kicks and hiccups and twists and turns.

I want to remember how your favorite position seems to be with your back facing my right side. I always feel lopsided, but I love seeing your feet occasionally pop out to the left of my belly button. I can often feel your left leg, as well, and I find myself scrutinizing its circumference, praying you've not yet reached Michelin Man proportions. I also think it's hilarious that when I lovingly pat your butt, you turn away from me. Maybe I'm about to get payback for the decades I've spent shrugging off my mom's hugs and wiping off my grandma's kisses. *sigh*

In the last few weeks, I've rediscovered my love for swimming and being weightless in the pool is the BEST THING EVER. I hope you love the water as much as I do!

At today's checkup, the midwife told me, you have great abdominal tone for being 37 weeks pregnant! I was all like, oh, thanks! And then she went on to say, buuut that actually means you could be hiding a deceptively large baby in there since your muscle tone is still holding so much in. Um. Please no. Full-term labor is now a reality... this means you won't be the size of the 4-5 pound babies I'm used to in the NICU. Don't get me wrong: full-termed and developed is exactly what we want! Just... 7+ pounds seems like a lot sometimes.

Forget those silly fruit and vegetable comparisons. There's no denying now that you're the size of a BABY now. When you move, I can feel it from all angles. Even your hiccups are big enough to see across much of my belly, and not just where your back is. Speaking of your back, last weekend you turned briefly so your back was curved out with my belly and when I held my breath, we could actually see you taking a few consistent practice breaths. It was so bizarre and completely non-replicable, but really fun to see from the outside and not just on ultrasound. You're so strong!

Your movements started to diminish toward the end of the week, which I hear is normal since you're running out of room. But the midwife did an NST just in case, since we were going into a long holiday weekend. You were asleep for the first ten minutes, but some cold apple juice woke you right up and you started partying away! I was able to push the "movement" button tons of times, and it was reassuring to hear you swooshing around even when I couldn't feel any motion (darn anterior placenta). You had a good number of textbook accelerations and Ross and I were so proud of you. It was fun sitting there with nothing to do but pay attention to you and hear your heartbeat going up and down and louder and quieter in the background. (Also so surreal since I've put countless people on that monitor myself... this time it was my turn!)

All in all, I'm really enjoying being pregnant with you. Thank you for going with the flow! I'm hoping you come one one resilient baby after everything we've been through. Sorry if you're feeling any of my stress second-hand! We are so excited (also terrified) to meet you and to realize that you're REAL. That being said, feel free to stay in until your due date. We think it'd be kind of cool if you were born on Friday the 13th. No matter when you come, though, we will be here with huge smiles ready to squeeze you and love you!

Love,
yo mama