Practice Resurrection

Manifesto: The Mad Farmer Liberation Front

by Wendell Berry

Love the quick profit, the annual raise,
vacation with pay. Want more
of everything ready-made. Be afraid
to know your neighbors and to die.
And you will have a window in your head.
Not even your future will be a mystery
any more. Your mind will be punched in a card
and shut away in a little drawer.
When they want you to buy something
they will call you. When they want you
to die for profit they will let you know.

So, friends, every day do something
that won't compute. Love the Lord.
Love the world. Work for nothing.
Take all that you have and be poor.
Love someone who does not deserve it.
Denounce the government and embrace
the flag. Hope to live in that free
republic for which it stands.
Give your approval to all you cannot
understand. Praise ignorance, for what man
has not encountered he has not destroyed.

Ask the questions that have no answers.
Invest in the millenium. Plant sequoias.
Say that your main crop is the forest
that you did not plant,
that you will not live to harvest.
Say that the leaves are harvested
when they have rotted into the mold.
Call that profit. Prophesy such returns.

Put your faith in the two inches of humus
that will build under the trees
every thousand years.
Listen to carrion - put your ear
close, and hear the faint chattering
of the songs that are to come.
Expect the end of the world. Laugh.
Laughter is immeasurable. Be joyful
though you have considered all the facts.
So long as women do not go cheap
for power, please women more than men.
Ask yourself: Will this satisfy
a woman satisfied to bear a child?
Will this disturb the sleep
of a woman near to giving birth?

Go with your love to the fields.
Lie down in the shade. Rest your head
in her lap. Swear allegiance
to what is nighest your thoughts.
As soon as the generals and the politicos
can predict the motions of your mind,
lose it. Leave it as a sign
to mark the false trail, the way
you didn't go. Be like the fox
who makes more tracks than necessary,
some in the wrong direction.
Practice resurrection.

Being Proactive

There's a point at which hanging out in your pajamas all morning crosses the line from indulgent to lazy and just plain sad. After several weeks of careful experimentation, I believe that line is lunch. Yet here I sit, eating lunch in my PJs.

You know when you have dreams so real and vivid, you're confused when you wake up? Last night I dreamed we still lived in Ft. Worth. I was missing my old job like woah yesterday and I guess my mind wanted to escape to Southland fantasy-land last night. I woke up in a funk. I was ecstatic about having 4 days off after a crazy/terrible/emotional/overtime-filled week at work, but now I'm just sad and lonely.

I don't remember being bored like this on my days off in Texas. I had friends with similar schedules and a husband with an 8-5 job to cook dinner for. It was predictable and enjoyable. And it's long, long gone.

But if I dwell on it too much longer, I'll start to cry again. So here's what I CAN do NOW to enjoy my life more:

-Get dressed before breakfast.  Nothing fancy, nothing snazzy, just real clothes.

-Have 'quiet time' before computer time. My days are so much better when I start with devotionals or even a workout instead of checking e-mail and reading blogs. The internet seems to be my best friend since we've moved here and that's just pitiful.

-On that note, limit internet time to 1 hour a day. Enough said.

-Start going to small-group tomorrow. I've been looking forward to this ever since we finally found a church we like. The young women's small group was on a hiatus but they start back up tomorrow. Can't wait to meet some new friends!

-Get out of the house every day. Have a set plan and stick to it. Whether it's yoga, a lunch date, heck, even walking to the library (when it's not raining like it is today).

-Do something active every day, even when I really really don't feel like it (like *ahem* I feel right now).


Help! Any other suggestions for me?

How Deep the Father's Love for Us

I spent Easter taking care of some sweet babies. Honestly, it didn't feel like a holiday at work but toward the end of the day, when some parents were holding their long-awaited babies for the first time, I witnessed a dad looking at his wife and their son with such a loving, tender look I almost melted.  And I realized, if this dad loves his new family that much, how much more does our Heavenly Father love us? What a beautiful Easter realization.



How deep the Father's love for us
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
And make a wretch His treasure
How great the pain of searing loss
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the Chosen One
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the man upon the cross
My sin upon His shoulder
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers
It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection
Why should I gain from His reward
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

Why should I gain from His reward
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

In Christ Alone

by Stuart Townend

In Christ alone my hope is found,
He is my light, my strength, my song;
this Cornerstone, this solid Ground,
firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
when fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My Comforter, my All in All,
here in the love of Christ I stand.

In Christ alone! who took on flesh
Fulness of God in helpless babe!
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones he came to save:
Till on that cross as Jesus died,
The wrath of God was satisfied -
For every sin on Him was laid;
Here in the death of Christ I live.

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain:
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave he rose again!
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me,
For I am His and He is mine -
Bought with the precious blood of Christ.

No guilt in life, no fear in death,
This is the power of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath.
Jesus commands my destiny.
No power of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home,
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand.

Easter Bunny-Approved Muffins

I don't know why carrot cake muffins make me think of spring. After all, carrots are a root vegetable and aren't in season here until mid/late summer. However, I remember requesting this as my birthday treat multiple times as a child. Carrot cake muffins with cream cheese frosting made my heart sing.

I haven't tried these with frosting (yet), but they're adapted from an Elena's Pantry recipe and I'm very pleased with the results. In keeping with tradition, I served these for dessert in Omaha a few weeks ago while celebrating my birthday along with Ross' and I was pleased to note that almost everyone at the table tried one!

Gluten-Free Carrot Cake Muffins
makes 12 muffins

1½ cups blanched almond flour
1/2 tsp sea salt
1/2 tsp baking soda
2 tsp cinnamon
dash of nutmeg
dash of cloves
3 eggs
2 Tbs canola or coconut oil
1/4 cup agave nectar or honey
1 tsp vanilla extract
1½ cups carrots, grated
1/2 cup walnuts, chopped
1/3 cup fresh pineapple, diced (optional)

(Look at the difference between the "cage-free" eggs from the store and the true free-range eggs!)

In a large bowl, combine almond flour, salt, baking soda, and spices.
In a separate bowl mix together eggs, oil, agave, vanilla, and pineapple if using.
Stir carrots and walnuts into wet ingredients.
Add wet ingredients to dry and mix well.
Scoop a heaping ¼ cup batter into paper-lined muffin pans. Bake at 325° for 18 to 22 minutes.

I'm working all weekend, but Easter is coming! This good Friday was appropriately cold and drizzly all morning, but the sun came out later in the afternoon and gave me chills thinking about how it may have happened 2011 years ago.

"So shall we join the disciples of our Lord, keeping faith in Him in spite of the crucifixion, and making ready, by our loyalty to Him in the days of His darkness, for the time when we shall enter into His triumph in the days of His light."   -Phillips Brooks

What dreams are made of

No I'm not going to wax poetic about grad school again (for now). I'm talking about running. And the fact that if nothing changes, nothing changes. I want to run a sub-30 minute 5k this year. More specifically, this summer. That means it's time to up the ante on my workouts.

Complaining about asthma won't get me anywhere. All I can do is push myself as far as I can and what happens, happens. I did a "speed" workout on the treadmill Sunday and by the end my face was red and my lips were purple. But I didn't throw up. And I didn't pass out. And I realized maybe my limits are farther away than I thought. And I'm stronger than I give myself credit for.

Then today, even though my thighs were still sore after one day off of running (a busy work day, at that) I ran 4 miles on a more-or-less flattish trail nearby. It wasn't fast and it probably wasn't pretty (I know the weather wasn't). But it acutally went by kind of quickly and I wasn't miserable the whole time.

You are so much stronger than you think. You are so much stronger than you know.

Weekend Re-cap

My schedule has been weird lately. Between overtime and poor planning, I haven't had more than one day off in a row for a while (the exception was last weekend when we went to Omaha). This means I'm not getting a whole lot done around here. I usually use my first day off to relax and recover, and the second day to get stuff done.

Anyway, I worked this Saturday, but Ross and I both had Sunday off and we had a great "weekend!"

Thursday night birthday dinner with my cousins and Ross.

Ross adding to the awesome container garden he made me last year.

Lettuce!

Remnants of the Wall of Chocolate from PF Chang's.

Domination. (Please excuse the chocolate in my teeth).

I was mighty excited about my birthday cake, but I'm also excited about all the seedlings we bought at Family Tree Nursery: lettuce, serrano peppers, strawberries, a dwarf tomato plant, basil, and some flowers. Sadly, something (I'm guessing a bird?) has already eaten the leaves and flowers off of two strawberry plants and the pepper plants! And I thought we were safer from pests being on a third floor balcony...