Two Six

I hated turning 25, but as the year went on I actually came to realize that 25 is still young! I've gotten used to checking the 25-34 age box as opposed to the 18-24 box on paperwork (although I still cringe... there's a big difference between 25 and 34 y'all!) In hindsight, 25 was a great age and a good year. I'm trying to be optimistic about turning 26 today, because in a year I'll wish I were turning 26 again instead of 27, right?!

I am still every age that I have been. Because I was once a child, I am always a child. Because I was once a searching adolescent, given to moods and ecstasies, these are still part of me, and always will be… This does not mean that I ought to be trapped or enclosed in any of these ages…the delayed adolescent, the childish adult, but that they are in me to be drawn on; to forget is a form of suicide… Far too many people misunderstand what “putting away childish things” means, and think that forgetting what it is like to think and feel and touch and smell and taste and see and hear like a three-year-old or a thirteen-year-old or a twenty-three-year-old means being grownup. When I’m with these people I, like the kids, feel that if this is what it means to be a grown-up, then I don’t ever want to be one. Instead of which, if I can retain a child’s awareness and joy, and “be” fifty-one, then I will really learn what it means to be grownup.

{Madeleine L’Engle}

I love this quote and it's so appropriate 20 years after my first age-related moment of panic. (I didn't want to turn 6. I don't know why.) To be honest, there's a lot to look forward to this year. A lot of unknowns. A lot of plans that may or may not pan out. The biggest one, of course, is a goal that I've been looking at for the last year and a half: running 26 miles for my 26th birthday. It looks like my first marathon will be the Omaha Marathon in September. While I really want to beak my 10k time from last year's event, it just makes sense to run this marathon instead of tackling the notoriously hilly marathons in Lawrence or Kansas City. And I don't want to travel to a new city to run a new race distance. I officially start marathon training at the end of May. Wohoo!

 My birthday has started off well. My mom's mom used to bring us doughnuts before school on our birthdays and I always requested double-chocolate cake donuts. Ross' sister gave me a mini-donut pan for my birthday and when it came in the mail yesterday, I knew what I was making for breakfast today:

Cutest donuts ever. Thanks, Emily! I feel 26 years young right now.

I'm 25 years old

Just wanted to say it a few more times while I can. 25 was is a good age. It's an ideal age. Old enough to (hopefully) have college behind you, but young enough to be energetic and enthusiastic about the opportunities in front of you.

This morning I gave a presentation at work and then went to lunch with some co-workers. (I didn't tell them it was my birthday tomorrow because it snuck up on me this year and I have all of one day to be melancholy lol).

Then I came home and crashed on the couch. They must've put something in my miso soup- I was so tired after lunch. Now I'm puttering around, resisting the lure of the donut pan my sister-in-law sent me for my birthday. (Don't worry, Emily, I'm breaking it in tomorrow if I can hold off that long).

It's a gorgeous day so I think I'll go for a walk as well- allergens be darned!

And, since this is such a random post, here are a few pictures from this past weekend in Omaha. On Saturday, we got to watch my baby brother play in a Varsity soccer tournament. Prep won!

Bobby is #24. I'm glad we got to see him play! Saturday night, my parents invited my grandparents over for dinner- perfect weather to break out the grilled burgers! Since Ross' birthday was on Saturday and mine's tomorrow, my brother added up our age and wrote it out in candles. Lovely :o)

 Then after dinner, we picked up a canoe my mom had bought at a garage sale that day. I told you... random.

Sunday morning was gorgeous and we got to go to church and lunch with the whole family. Like my dad said, we did get to see spring twice. I had to take pictures.

Ross tied the canoe to my dad's truck and we headed out. It was a fun celebratory weekend!

Happy belated birthday, Ross!

What do I want to be when I grow up?

Do I want to go to grad school?

If so, what specialty?

What do I want to be when I grow up?

That's the million dollar question, isn't it. (Well, ha, I WISH it were worth a million dollars when I do figure it out). But really, a career you love is priceless. I've been talking to a lot of people lately and I seem to get 2 answers when I ask what's important in a job:

-One camp says a job is always just a job, and never who you ARE. You are more than your work.
-The other camp says that if you do what you love, you'll never work a day in your life

I'm sure a realistic dream job falls somewhere between these two categories, depending on the day. There will always be some days when you hate everything about working. Not that it's happened to me ;-)

The good thing about nursing is that it's so flexible and changing hospitals or specialties is easy-ish. But after the RNC test, I have had this nagging thought: what if? What if I became a Nurse Practitioner?

What if I DID go back to school, now that I have had 3+ years to recover from undergrad? What if I DID pursue an advanced practice degree?

I love bedside nursing, for now. But will I always? I take pride in my assessment skills and I love educating families at the bedside. But if I don't decide on grad school by 2015, I'm out of luck because Advanced Practice nurses will be required to be DNPs (Doctor of Nursing Practice) and let's be honest, I'm not going to get my doctorate any time soon. I have ZERO desire to sign up for a minimum of 5 more years of school. 2-3 years, on the other hand, now seems like a bargain.

I still haven't figured out exactly what my motives are for suddenly really wanting to go to grad school. The time crunch is definitely a huge factor. But I also wonder if there's more to a career than trudging to work, feeling powerless over my schedule, and feeling awkward around my co-workers. I LOVE my NICU babies with all my heart, but I'm a little disenchanted with the NICU itself. The noises, the politics, the drama. Maybe I need to work at a smaller, non-teaching hospital. Or maybe I need to be the one in charge (mwahaha <-- sarcastic evil laugh).

{explanation}

Have you seen this diagram before? If only I could actually answer the question: what you can the the best in the world at. Nurse practitioner? Bedside nurse? (And no, Ross, princess is not a realistic option.)

Chocolate Walnut Cookies (gluten free)

We had a great weekend in Omaha celebrating Ross' birthday and now we're back in KC and back to work. I will post weekend pictures tomorrow, but for now: cookies!

These were inspired by another recipe from Elena's Pantry. I liked the idea of the double-chocolate mocha version, but we've eaten a lot of chocolate chips lately, so I improvised.

Chocolate Walnut Cookies
1 heaping cup almond flour
3 Tbs. unsweetened cocoa powder
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/4 tsp. salt
1/4 cup coconut oil or butter
1/4 cup maple syrup or agave
2 tsp. vanilla extract
1/3 cup walnuts

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a large bowl, combine almond flour, cocoa powder, baking soda and salt. In a smaller bowl, stir together coconut oil, syrup, and vanilla. Stir wet ingredients into dry and then add walnuts. Drop dough by heaping tablespoonfuls onto ungreased baking sheet. Bake for 7-8 minutes. Makes 12 cookies.

Therese-created, Ross-approved :o)

Spring has Sprung

*But you knew there would always be spring, as you knew the river would flow again after it was frozen.* -Ernest Hemingway

We kind of went straight from 30-degree days to 70-degree days, but I'll take it!

Isn't spring a great metaphor for those times in your life when you find yourself in a new situation, with new possibilities, and a new outlook? I'm seeing the new possibilities (grad school?) and new outlook (I'm in a better mood when the sun is shining), but my situation hasn't actually changed yet. Just a few big decisions pending between 'here' and 'there.'


What I'm loving this spring:

-Grad school interviews

-open windows

-running outside in a tank top 

-daffodils- they're so optimistic!

-taking walks outside

-the cute bag my mother-in-law made for me-- and all the yet-to-be-read library books inside!

Things I'm looking forward to:

-birthdays (Ross and I have birthdays this month. Did I mention I'm 25? I need to say that as much as possible before it changes!)

-shadowing a few Neonatal Nurse Practitioners, labor and delivery nurses, and Nurse Midwives this summer

-the farmer's markets opening again

-reading a book by the pool


What do you love about spring? Anything you're looking forward to in the next few months? 

Milagros

Our little goddaughter is truly a miracle. Despite all odds, she has made it to her first birthday- what a celebration! From one pound to one year is quite the achievement.

Trying to wrap a hexagonal box in a compact car

All that work will be undone in about 5 seconds

Cute + yummy

How sweet is this?!

What's the big deal, guys?

I'm not sure what you're going for here, Mom

Ummm...

Hey! This stuff is good!

Hey guys, you should try some!

Gifts

Are we done yet?

I'm cute and I know it!

What a fun Sunday. Happy birthday, Olivya!

Weekend Run

Is it April already? And is the warm weather really going to stick around? It's about time! I'm so unbelievably happy that the long trudge through February and March is over.

Ross and I both kicked off the month with an eventful weekend! I had to work Saturday, but Ross rocked the Rock the Parkway 5k in 25:59. A huge improvement over the Truffle Shuffle less than a month ago!

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Then Sunday morning I was fortunate enough to be able to join some co-workers in the Brew to Brew relay: 44 miles from Boulevard Brewery in Kansas City to Free State Brewery in Lawrence.

6am. I don't think anyone is fully awake!

Winds from SW at 26mph gusting to 42mph

I ran the second leg, which was 5.26 miles and I loved it! Despite the massive 20+ mph headwind for 95% of the run (we were out in the open on a levy with nothing to block the gusts), I felt pretty good and was plenty happy to finish in 58 minutes with gas left in the tank!

About 1.5 miles in after climbing up to the levee. Lovely.

Done already!

Sadly, I couldn't stay the rest of the day (and party in Lawrence at the end). But I'm already looking forward to being on this team again next year!