Southern Slovenia

The second half of our trip was really confusing to me. Lots of small towns with names that sounded different depending on who said what. I asked my dad to write a guest post, and he sent his portion to me before I'd even started mine! I thought about editing, but thought it was best to leave mostly as-is. Enjoy!

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On Thursday we rented a van and drove south from Ljubljana.  Our first stop was in Ribnica.  Because your grandma’s grandpa was a peddler when he came to the US in 1866, we thought there might be some sort of tie with Ribnica.  The community was given the privilege to peddle in the Austrian empire since 1492.  

Ribnica is one of the oldest Slovenian towns with rich history. From the distance the visitors are greeted by two bell towers of the Ribnica Parish Church, which are built in cathedral style according to the design of the architect Jože Plecnik. Ribnica used to be an ancient parish for the west part of the Lower Carniola (Dolenjska) in the times of Christianisation. 

(buckwheat mash with bacon drippings for lunch in Ribnica)

The year 1492 was important for the economy of Ribnica as the Caesar Friderick III awarded its inhabitants the right to free trading with handmade ware. Besides for the suha roba woodenware and pottery the town is famous for its natural beauties and rich cultural heritage, which boasts the Ribnica Castle from 10th century. 

It houses four permanent displays, which depict the events in the Ribnica Valley through the centuries. Ribnica also boasts a cultural memorial park dedicated to eminent personalities, summer theatre, the birth house of the linguist Stanislav Škrabec, the Ortnek Castle, the castle ruins on Breg, numerous viewing points in the untouched landscape.

The rich heritage of Ribnica can be seen in numerous legends and cultural, ethnographic and tourist events. Here are some of the most famous ones: the Ribnica Fair (Ribniški sejem) of woodenware and pottery, the Carnival, St. Nicholas' Eve Party (Miklavževanje), live nativity scene. 

We then drove through the Kocevski Rog.  It is one of Europe’s last virgin forests.  The pine and beech woods are home to brown bears, wolves, and lynx.  It is also the location of Baza 20, the nerve center for the anti-Fascist struggle, and was never discovered by the Nazis.  It is preserved as the only serving headquarters of European wartime resistance.

We wanted to stop by the Mithrian temple site, but couldn’t find it. Mitrej above Rožanc is one of the most attractive archaeological monuments in Slovenia, and can be found along the regional road Semič – Črnomelj, in the village Rožanec. The relief most likely originates from the second century, and the image of god Mitra carved into a rock has been preserved in its natural environment in the valley of chestnut forest Judovje, near the branch church of St Jurij. The cast of the relief from the 20th century can be seen in the Bela Krajina Museum in Metlika.

We then drove to Crnomelj, the parish town that your grandma’s great grandfather, Peter Tomec, was baptized.  The parish over 750 years old and had been attacked by the Turks numerous times over the centuries.  Unfortunately, the museums, and shops were closed by the time we got there.  

We then drove into the village of Jerneja Vas, the village the Tomecs lived in.

 

[from Therese: we drove through this one-street town all slow and creepy-like until finally the neighbors started wondering what was going on. One couple was outside with their grandkids and asked if we needed help. When it was evident that we did not speak Slovenian, they ran inside to get their daughter who graciously interpreted. My dad and uncle started asking about the house numbers, which had obviously been changed since the town was originally built. Then they said the Tomecs were our ancestors. Then the grandpa got all excited and popped in a few houses down to grab an old, distant relative who came over with is ancestry papers. (A "living legend" as he called himself).  This totally random family in the middle of the countryside invited these strangers in and proceeded to serve a ton of food and drinks and happily discussed ancestry with my dad. They were so hospitable and friendly, and the older neighbor had the same color blue eyes as my dad which was kind of neat!]

not the house we were invited into, but maybe one that used to house our ancestors?

What I thought was interesting was we went from asking an old man if he spoke English to sitting in their house eating meats, cheeses, etc, and leaving with a bottle of Jaegermeister, that he made himself (from Canadian whiskey that he added 54 herbs and spices, and left in a barrel for a year), and the largest bunches of grapes I’ve ever seen.  The red grapes were the same varietal (they call them Modra Frankinja) that I grow (we call them Lemberger).

That night we stayed in the bed and breakfast in Dragatus.  This is the town that your grandma’s grandma, Barbara Tomec, because the village of Zapudje was assigned the Dragatus parish right before she was born.  All of her older siblings and parents, grandparents, etc, were baptized in the parish of Vinica.

our bed and breakfast

The next morning we visited Tanta Gora, the village of our distant relative. [from Therese: via ancestry.com and DNA swab matching, my dad met a distant relative named Ales who graciously and excitedly offered to be a tour guide for us. He was a lot of fun, he loved Slovenia, and he was great interpreter to have in the smaller towns! We got to visit his home and family in Tanta Gora, and later visit his kids in school back in Dragatus. At his house, we got to try some coffee, fresh juice, and lots of local snacks.] We left with 2 large bottles of wine.  I think this is where we got the plum brandy (slivovica) in a plastic bottle.

oldest homestead in Tanta Gora

We also visited Zapudje, the village that your grandma’s grandparents were born in.  We found out that the Gorse family was one of the 2 families that founded the village.  2 Gorse brothers from Ribnica (this might be the peddler connection) were given half the land in the village in the 1700’s when Maria Theresa was undertaking land reform in the Austrian empire.  The other half was given to the Stefanic family (we have some Stefanic’s in our family tree also), likely from Croatia.  They were still defending the borders of the Austrian empire from the Turks.  We also found the House of Gorse, which appeared to be the oldest house in the village.

250 years old and still inhabited!

so many animals and gardens

 

 Saturday morning we stopped in Vinica, the parish town that your grandma’s grandparents were baptized.  The church, Holy Cross, has been there since the 16^th century, but has had significant remodeling.  We got some holy water to bring back to your grandma.

Vinica is a clustered settlement situated high above the river Kolpa, next to the Slovene-Croatian border and 18 km from Crnomelj. Vinica, already inhabited in prehistory, is nowadays marked by an international border crossing. The remains of the Vinica Castle are an important document of the past. The birth house of the poet Oton Župancic is located in the centre of Vinica and has been renovated, as the original house burned down in the great fire of 1888. The poet’s memorabilia is displayed on the ground floor, while the first floor is dedicated to his Vinica compatriot Oton Berkopec. The bust of Župancic can be seen in the garden and it is the work of Jakob Savinšek.

crossing into Croatia

Goodbye, Slovenia! I miss you already!

 Zupancic belonged to a talented group of Slovenian poets born between 1870 and 1878.  He remained rooted in his native soil, particularly in the Bela krajina region of Slovenia (where we were the last 3 days of our trip)

 Some verses from Zupancic:

Forge me on thy anvil, Life!

Am I flint-then I shall flash.

Am I steel, then I shall sing.

Am I glass, then let me crash.

A NIGHT PSALM

Stars high above the midnight air,

golden, mute.

Alas, so destitute---

where to, my spirit, where in thy despair?

(more to this poem)

MY IMAGE

Could I but reach my own true image,

could I at last behold it!

For dark it is within my darkness;

it pierces, permeates me through

in its ascent.

I grope for it

with all my being, like a blindman fumbling;

I grow with its own growth

and stumble in its company

not knowing whither….

(later in the poem)

Who stubbornly pursues his aim,

with faith retained,

and yet expands through inner growth:

he may at last spread out his arms,

like one who sees the light of day,

and spans the web of dreams eternal----

he shows his image true:  the cross.

Could I but reach my image

my own and yours, my people!

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It's me again! Didn't my dad do a great job? There's so much history I have yet to learn about such a tiny country I'd never really heard of prior to last year.

We spent our last day in Zagreb, Croatia. It was drizzly and cold, which overshadowed our experience a bit. But also, Slovenia was so green and pristine it was an abrupt change to go from those villages to old Yugoslavian streets. We did go on a walking tour, though, with a really good guide, and that helped me warm up to Zagreb a bit. My brothers also sent my mom some birthday flowers, so those added some color to our dreary day!

In the end, our entire trip to Slovenia was so much fun. A great first taste of Europe! (Although I'm afraid the rest of Europe might pale in comparison to this gem of a country.) It was the perfect mix of city and country, big and small, nature and culture. I can't wait to go back!

Just Charming

Jeez I'm only, what, two weeks late posting these recaps from my trip to Slovenia? It's just... there are so many pictures. Some of them are still on my dad's phone and not on my computer. It was all so much fun I'm not sure where to start.

So I suppose I'll start from the beginning. Last year around this time, my dad got really into ancestry.com and found out that a lot of his mom's family came from Slovenia, a tiny little country East of Italy and South of Austria. The more he learned about the history of the region and our family, the more he talked about Slovenia. Every time I came home, he'd tell me about another new book he got, or another new ancestor he found. Basically, his enthusiasm for this tiny country became a running joke! But fascinating to learn about at the same time.

Somewhere during this time, he found out that there's an American chapter of the Slovenian Genealogy Society, AND that they were making a trip to Slovenia this fall! Obviously, he signed up. Somewhere along the line, my mom, and my dad's brother and his wife were roped into it as well. At one point they asked if Ross and I wanted to join, but too many things were up in the air with work and finances, so we declined.

Then when I resigned from my job and hadn't found anything after a month, my dad offered again. I took him up on it! Sadly Ross couldn't join because he didn't have enough time off, but I'd really love to go back with him as well, because Slovenia is pretty perfect. All the guidebooks say it's a hidden jewel in Europe and I'm now inclined to believe that's true. I've seen all of two European countries (Slovenia and then Croatia for a day) but from what everyone else was saying, Slovenia was cleaner, less crowded, and more charming than most other European capital cities.

Please know that when I use words like "cute" and "charming" I'm not being trite or patronizing. These are high compliments coming from me, and they're perfectly descriptive of Ljubljana and Slovenia as a whole.

My trip was essentially split into two parts. The big group spent a few days in Lake Bled, but I met up with everyone in Ljubljana and just made a day trip to the lake another day. The second part of the trip entailed my parents and aunt and uncle splitting from the group and driving through numerous small towns that were genalogically significant per my dad's research at home and in the archives of Ljubljana.

Without further ado, here's a VERY brief overview of the first half of our trip:

When I first arrived on Sunday morning, I was on my own for a few hours. I was delighted to find myself in a small, tidy capital city. Downtown was easy to navigate on foot, with very little car traffic. The sun was shining and the old buildings were perfectly accentuated with flowerboxes and ivy and riverside charm. Love at first sight. I met up with everyone before dinner and promptly went to bed afterward.

The second day we were there, we had lunch and Polka lessons at a famous old guest house, went on a boat tour, and trekked up to the Ljubljana Castle, which was amazing.

The third day, my mom, Aunt Karen, and I went to Lake Bled and spent a few hours walking around and hiking up 200 steps to glimpse another castle. I can't even imagine what it would've been like to live in a big, cold castle on a sheer cliff. That view would probably make up for it in Bled, though.

The following day, we joined the tour group for a day trip to Piran and had a blast. I could've easily spend a few days there!

It was hard to pick just a few pictures from these adventures...

//across the river//

//the view from my hotel room//

//even the streetlights are cute//

//the Ljubljanica River runs right through Old Town//

//Butcher's Bridge-- one of three main pedestrian bridges//

//Our hotel (the Grand Union Executive) was amazing//

//reflections on the river//

//Ruins of a Roman wall in one of the squares. Mind blowing.//

//I was thrilled with the number of cafes offering gluten-free and vegan treats//

//dusk//

(((insert castle pictures here)))

//My hotel breakfast every morning: roasted veggies, eggwhite frittata, Carniolan sausage...//

//...gluten-free toast with strawberry jam...//

//...coffee//

//day trip to Lake Bled//

// look how clear the water is! //

//so many charming gardens//

//Beautiful church in a beautiful setting. What a place to worship!//

//castle + St. Marten's from across the lake//

//infamous chapel on an island in Lake Bled//

//Vintgar Gorge. Worth the windy road trip. Pictures don't do it justice.//

//more crystal clear water and a meticulous path along the edge of the gorge//

//stunning//

//Dad, Mom, Aunt Karen, me, Uncle Pete at dinner//

//one of the most phenomenal meals we ate in Slovenia//

//The staff was so sweet and brought me a stack of soft gluten-free bread//

//many of the foods were simple and naturally gluten-free and our tour guides were always kind enough to double-check for me//

//award-winning Carniolan sausage, mustard, and sauerkraut//

//another foggy morning view of the castle from my room-- this made me smile every morning//

// SO excited to see the ocean! //

//salt flats in Piran//

//at the salt museum//

//more of our daytrip to the sweet coastal town of Piran//

//church steeple//

//view from the belltower//

// Adriatic Sea. 3 oceans in one summer? So blessed. //

//be still, my heart//

//vegan chocolate gelato + sunshine//

//+ the pier//

//the water was so soft and smooth//

//I like to eat my souvenirs, apparently//

 //panoramic from my room//

 //bedtime tea//

Ljubljana, I am sufficiently charmed.  I'll be back!

5 Weeks: Don't Panic

This week didn't start out on a great note. What I thought was allergies last week turned into full blown laryngitis/bronchitis this week and I just felt awful. The Neti Pot and Zyrtec only go so far, and my asthma was acting up which made me more anxious. I started googling things like "can Advair cause miscarriage" even though my allergy doc told me to keep taking it! I'd turned into every healthcare provider's worst nightmare with my late nigh queries to Dr. Google.

I was surprised at how quickly that turned into a dark downward spiral. I seemed to lose all common sense and all textbook knowledge of answers I knew to be true! I was embarrassed that I was looking for validation on some random message board instead of listening to my doctor or trusted friends who have been through normal pregnancies!

The whole week gave me pause, thinking about how skewed pregnancy has become in our society. It seems to have become a fragile state, fraught with peril** in which EVERYBODY has an opinion and EVERYBODY thinks they're the expert. The disappearance of multi-generational households and the spread of families leads to an absence of the experience of watching someone close to you go through pregnancy from day one. Additionally, society today really seems to focus on keeping things hush-hush until the end of the first trimester, because the odds of loss are lower then. This seems to put a newly pregnant mom in quite a conundrum, then! Limited discussion during the newest and most unknown weeks of pregnancy? Of course everyone turns to Dr. Google!

After realizing this, I started to tell more people in person, a little earlier than I had originally intended. I needed to be able to ask, "is this normal" and "did this happen to you" in a real life context, and not online.

In other news, I'm feeling pretty self-conscious in my clothes. My jeans are already fairly tight after a Eurpoean vacation filled with delicious food and while any pregnancy related symptoms I may have are certainly mild enough to remain active (and oh, how my mental and emotional state benefits from working out) I only got to workout twice in the first week I was home from Slovenia, thanks to this ridiculous virus. So sure, I'm feeling acutely aware of early bloating (yes, I realize I will look back at this post and laugh).

I'm trying to take this in stride and haven't fully grasped that there will come a point when my waistline will be rapidly expanding despite healthy eating habits. I guess that's going to take more adjusting than I anticipated. Right now, all I can do is front-load veggies and protein, in the event that I develop any food aversions or bad nausea later on.

Thankfully, this week ended on a good note. I finally caught up on sleep and was able to spend a lot of time journaling and praying through my anxiety. I had to remind myself that anxious fear is not from the Lord: "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." (2 Timothy 1:7). And God, ever faithful, has been helping me ease my fears and relinquish control back to the One who really made this little life anyway, for as long as it's here to stay with us.




**Ok honestly, yeah, there are about a billion things that could go wrong every day with every cell division going on in there, but also. We're all here, right? We were all born. Pregnancy happens normally and uneventfully every day for so many people. Right?! But after 6 years of working in neonatology and perinatology, it seems like a straight-up miracle that any baby is born healthy and full-term. And even though statistics prove that's usually the case, it's no less of a miracle!

4 Weeks: what's another word for surreal?

Four weeks down, 36 to go! It actually feels kind of bizarre to type that, because it still all feels pretty dreamlike. This is something that happens to other people, not to me! This week would suggest that we're going to go ahead and get the pregnancy symptoms show on the road. But whether my discomfort right now is due to pregnancy, or allergies and jet leg is yet to be determined.

My biggest "symptom" in the past week was fatigue. Ridiculous. But I think I was transitioning off of vacation really badly, thanks to jet lag. I'd be so tired at 3pm (10pm in Ljubljana) and wide awake at 3am (10am in Ljubljana). To add insult to injury, I got back Sunday, didn't stop waking up at 3am until Friday night, and then had to turn around and work night shift Saturday night. It wasn't pretty.

Other symptoms (that I'm willing to share publicly, at least) have included morning temperatures as high as 99.5, and a flu-like feeling. On Wednesday morning I was feeling fairly miserable and I was convinced that I actually was getting sick after traveling. I had a headache, body aches, congestion, runny nose, and sore throat. Although really, those are also the same symptoms I've had on and off all summer thanks to a ridiculous allergy season.

The biggest thing I'd attribute to pregnancy this week is my thirst and the subsequent bathroom trips! I've always been a thirsty person, easily consuming 3 liters of water a day. Now, it's more like 4+ liters and ice water is even sounding good (usually it's room temp all the way).

Finally, I'm craving salty food and I'm somewhat averse to sweets at the moment. The Haribo gummy bears I brought back from Slovenia are all Ross' whereas normally I'd be fighting him for the clear ones and the red ones! I have been getting occasional waves of nausea, although to be fair this is something that happens to me normally when I'm overly tired. Just in case, I've started taking 25mg of Vitamin B6 three times a day. I'm hoping to avoid Unisom or, worse, Zofran because they really just wouldn't help my IBS symptoms.

My overarching thought this week has been incredulity at how long it's taking to sink in: we're pregnant! It's happening! I guess I thought that it would be magically real with that first positive test, but it's still so dreamlike. Even though we were hoping and trying. Even though the day I tested, I knew I was pregnant. (I honestly would've been more surprised to see a negative than a positive.) Yet, it's so intangible right now. A little poppyseed.

It's different than I thought it would be, and it's hard to believe it's happening to me after watching so many of my friends have their first, second, and even third and fourth kids! Now that our turn it's so new and so surreal. Life-changing yet not noticeable from the outside yet.

Pre-ultrasound, pre-lab draws, pre-visible baby bump... can you blame me for analyzing every possible symptom?

Little Orange Pill: One Year Later

Wow time flies! Remember when I started accutane this time last year? Well, I finished it at the end of May, and I keep wanting to write a bit of a review and survival tips for those thinking of taking it themselves. I was looking for an honest portrayal when I was making my decision, and I couldn't find one. Most stories online were of the "this ruined my life forever" variety, which freaked me out!

The Cliffs Notes version is this: I experienced a lot of unpleasant side-effects, but from where I sit today, it was worth it!

I was a mess going into it. There aren't a lot of pictures to use as "before" shots because I hated the way I looked so much. And those feelings were at the surface of some very deep feelings of dissatisfaction in who I was.

My acne ended up being much more stubborn than I anticipated and instead of taking accutane for 16-20 weeks, I was on it for 8 solid months.

Before // October 2012 // I can't believe I'm posting this

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One month in, all I noticed was dry skin. The acne was still there, and I was still breaking out. But the rest of my skin was dry. The nice thing about this month, though, was that my backne did clear up pretty quickly.

Two months in, same. My face was less red, but the pimples were still definitely there and multiplying.

Three months in, the rate of breakouts seemed to slow.

Four months in, I was finally starting to notice a difference.

Five and six months in, there were steady improvements, but I still had acne.

Seven months in, I was so over the side effects and my acne was almost gone. I really wanted to stop, but my dermatologist convinced me that one more month would really clear everything up. And what do you know? It did!

The eight month, I recognized myself in the mirror again for the first time in a long time! I can't overstate how good that feeling was!

After // July 2013

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That being said, I was so so so happy to be done taking that medication. Dry skin was a given. I  went through one tube of chapstick a month and one container of lotion every two months for the duration.  After a lot of trial and error, I amassed a collection of my favorite products. My skin was so sensitive and dry that some products would sting when applied, and only the really good products would actually moisturize for more than a few minutes. I mean, I would put Aquaphor on my hands at night and it would soak in within 5 minutes!

Clockwise from top left: 

-Redken moisturizing shampoo

-TIGI S Factor "Serious" Conditioner. My hair was so crispy dry on accutane and I only washed it once or twice a week. When I did, this is the only conditioner that even touched that dryness. It's amazing that my hair would actually feel soft and not crunchy when I got out of the shower.

-Jergens Ultra Healing body lotion. This was lightly scented and went on without stinging. It was moisturizing without being greasy, and absorbed well.

-Refresh Plus eyedrops for my dry eyes. I actually ended up having to get prescription Restasis because it was so bad in the end.

-Eucerin skin cream for the dry patches I would get. They were almost eczema-like and would mostly pop up on my arms, ears, and face.

-Olay Regenerist micro-sculpting cream (fragrance-free) for my face. So many scented moisturizers burned when I applied them to my face. This one didn't (most of the time) and it was so luxuriously moisturizing without being greasy. That being said, when even this stung my skin, I applied straight up coconut oil or aquaphor before bed.

-Saline nose spray to help prevent the nosebleeds that started about three months in.

-Not pictured because it was always in my pocket: chapstick! For the first few months, I really liked Blistex Cold & Allergy. But after a while, that wasn't touching the constant peeling. I picked up some Whole Foods brand oragnic vanilla honey lip balm on a whim, and fell in love. It worked so well! Brownie points for the fact that it was practically edible, with an ingredient list containing coconut oil, beeswax, olive oil, shea butter, natural flavor, cocoa butter, hemp seed oil, Vitamin E, vanilla extract, and honey. I'm sure I ate so much chapstick while I was on accutane...

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I also can't understate chiropractic care while I was on this medication. I've had IT joint trouble and hip and lower back pain on and off since high school, but it ramped into high gear after about a month on accutane. It was so awful, it hurt to sit, stand, and walk. I got a recommendation for a great chiropractor and haven't looked back. I'm so thankful I found her when I did!

The dry mouth was terrible, and I never did find a great solution. I'd sleep with water next to my bed because I'd inevitable wake up with cotton mouth several times each night. The months I did go to accupuncture and get herbs, I would notice an improvement, but I had trouble going consistently with my old job schedule.

I would be remiss if I didn't also mention depression. I was totally depressed this winter. Worse than I have been in years. Now, there were a lot of factors going into that, and a lot of life circumstances weighing heavy on my heart, but I can't deny that accutane probably also played a role. I felt much lighter after stopping the medication.

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I've been off accutane for 4 months now and I love my skin! The dryness is finally gone and I'm back to washing my hair every other day. To be fair, I should mention that I do usually get 1-2 pimples a month and the cause me anxiety not because they're so huge, but because I'm always worried that they are the start of all of it coming back. So far, so good, though. The pimples I do get are much smaller and go away much faster than they used to, and even my scars are still fading every month. Like I said, it's good to recognize the person looking back at you in the mirror!

Hello, October

I got back from Slovenia Sunday night and I'm in love! It's going to take me a few days to get through all the photos I took, but I can't wait to share!

In other news, fall came to Kansas City while I was gone. Also, my time away and subsequent return confirmed that I am definitely allergic to Kansas City. But it's so pretty in the fall! I hate feeling cooped up indoors.

I digress. While on the plane last week, I read Barbara Kingsolver's new book, Flight Behavior. I'm a fan of Kingsolver in general and the book was alluring, albeit mildly disturbing in its skepticism of God and marriage. But the story itself is about monarch butterflies and I liked it.

One line early on caught my eye and I thought about it all week:

...everything that came next was nonsensical, like a torrential downpour in a week of predicted sunshine that floods out the crops and the well-made plans. There is no use blaming the rain and the mud, these are only elements. The disaster is the failed expectation.

I just love everything about this and it hit a chord in my soul. Failed expectations have hurt me deeply in the last few years, but I feel like I'm moving into a place where I pack lighter and hold on more loosely. Having few expectations of my cobbled-together work situation, going on a great vacation I didn't plan and that I wasn't in control of, and watching the leaves change whether I'm ready or not reminds me that life without the constraints of my own expectations is so freeing.

That being said, the one thing I'm learning to count on time and time again is God. He is ALWAYS there, he ALWAYS keeps his promises, and he ALWAYS loves me. That's the one expectation I can count on coming to fruition.

Deuteronomy 7:8-9 gave me such a joyful heart yesterday:

It was because the Lord loved you and kept the oath he swore to your forefathers that he brought you out with a mighty hand and redeemed you from the land of slavery... Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations...

I hope this new season finds you with a new song in your heart. I'm not sure what winter holds, but it's sunny now and I'm happy. Hello, October.