My feet hurt and my legs are so stiff. I worked Friday and Saturday and Saturday was especially JPS-worthy crazy. When I got up this morning, my feet started to hurt while I was standing in the kitchen making breakfast! And I get to do it all again tomorrow. However, I am very glad that I started my nursing career in such a busy unit. I still miss it with all my heart.
I'm so UNSURE of everything here. It REALLY doesn't help that my current NICU has been divided since I got here. There's one unit on the first floor and the main unit is on the 5th floor. We get shuffled between them just enough that I've been here 7 months and I still can't find supplies when I really need them!
I miss going to deliveries. I miss having designated "admit" nurses and I hate the chaos when we might be getting a baby and no one seems to know who is even going to take the admission at first. I remember feeling so lucky that in my entire first year and a half of nursing, there was never a day I DREADED going to work. I LOVED my job. I am still undecided here. Don't get me wrong, I love my patients (most of them, anyway) but there are definitely days that the thought of going in to work really weighs me down.
Ross hates it when I complain about missing Ft. Worth, but I need to get this out. I miss JPS. Yes, the county hospital with mostly Spanish-speaking clientele and homeless people watching TV in the ER waiting room when the weather was bad. I miss my little Hispanic babies who were always born with a full head of hair. I miss having a Neonatologist at the hospital 24/7.
That's Dr. Prieto on the right... my hero! I would move back to Fort Worth JUST to follow her around and learn from her. She always talked to the nurses, got their opinions, and actually dialogued with us regarding the patient's status. The best day of my nursing career was when we were talking about a baby's blood gas and I said something she hadn't thought of and she complimented me!
I definitely miss doctors who took the time to teach the nurses in the unit! (Here they're too busy teaching the residents, most of whom will never step foot in a NICU again after their rotation.) I miss being at the bedside when the doctors spoke to the infant's parents in rapid-fire native tongue. It's been 7 months and my Spanish is all but gone. I hate that.
I really hope that studying for my RNC brings back some confidence, because right now I'm no longer one of the lucky few who can say that I do what makes me happy and I get paid for it!
*A good leader inspires people to have confidence in the leader, a great leader inspires people to have confidence in themselves* -Groucho Marx