Stream of Consciousness... Read at your own Risk!

I got home from work this evening, inhaled a bowl of Panda Puffs, and laid down on the floor in the office. Silence. Yes, I have homework to do, but I have nowhere to BE until tomorrow morning. How has it been a week since I had time to just sit down and think!?

So... I'm thinking:

-When we were little, sometimes my mom would let us pick out a 'gimme' at the grocery store. AKA a treat that would not normally be approved of. Often candy, Pop Tarts, or a sugary cereal. I've started instituting a similar rule, but I went grocery shopping on an empty stomach this week and somehow ended up with 3 'gimmes.' And I've eaten through half of them in the last 24 hours. Oops.

We'll pretend that because they are gluten free Peanut Butter Panda Puffs, they're healthier than Cap'n Crunch.

-I made my triumphant return to church on Sunday and didn't even blog about it! Why not? Because I forgot how ridiculous it is to transition from weekends to weekdays. I have worked 5 shifts in 6 days. Oof.

-I actually went to two different churches Sunday. Not realistic in the long run, but I'm making up for lost time, yo.

-One church played a song that means a lot to me, and then I heard it again on the radio on the way home. Think God is trying to press a message into my heart? He is jealous for me. I drift time and time again and he's jealous when I fill my plate with all these 'immediate' concerns and stop focusing on the only Real Thing of importance in my life.

-Last month, I wrote about being hemmed in. A lot of doors were slamming in my face, people were letting me down, and my lofty plans for the future lay shattered around me. I felt trapped, and I tried to claw my way out, until I saw the beauty in it. decisions were presented that I wasn't capable of making, so God made them for me. But the minute I started to rest in that place, life started speeding up. Doors started opening. I started making decisions (and sometimes the wrong ones) again because I had to. Now things are moving at warp speed and my plate is full and I'm so... overwhelmed!

-The other church I went to on Sunday, the sermon was talking about Matthew 28 when Jesus says, "go and make disciples of all nations." Did you know that "disciple" means "a learner, or one who is becoming"? I love it. Jesus doesn't say, make sure you know exactly what's going on and what's happening before you move forward. He doesn't insist that the disciples make sure they're 100% prepared and qualified to do this thing. They don't have to wait until they figure everything out. God gives us permission to GO and figure things out as we're moving forward in His grace! Hesitancy that remains unresolved morphs into paralyzing fear. It's like the pastor was speaking directly to my heart. I'm so glad that when I say, "I'm so lost," God says, "where are you? I'll come get you and we'll find our way together." Amen, right?

-It's been cool and cloudy the past few days. Today as I drove home the ceiling of gray parted and the bright blue sky shone through. I had forgotten it was there. How often do we do that in our own lives? We take things at surface value, and we forget that there's this God's-eye-view looking down saying, there's more here than meets the eye. So much is readily available to you; you just have to remember I'm there, even if you don't see Me. Especially if you don't see Me.

-It's CSA season again!

-I'm going to the Influence Conference in October and I'm psyched. It's going to be like a retreat/workshop with some motivational speakers and women of faith having fun together. Join me!

-Ever since Hawaii, I've been able to drink coffee black.

-I'm thinking about this post. Still. Because don't we all know in our heart of hearts that balance isn't the answer?

-Finally, 50 Shades of Gray makes me uncomfortable for so many reasons. Here are two great posts about the trilogy. I couldn't have said it better myself!

How's that for a week's worth of thoughts? What's been on your heart and mind this week?

Okay, enough of the thinking. Time to buckle down and get some homework done! Wait. What?