Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Vulnerability

Vulnerable (vul·ner·a·ble) adj.

Susceptible to physical or emotional injury.
Susceptible to attack.
Open to censure or criticism; assailable.
I am headed to Indianapolis tomorrow with a handful of people I kind of know and lots of people I've never met. This is very unlike me. I'm a homebody and I like familiarity and routine.
I'm... nervous. And feeling very, very vulnerable. What if these strangers judge me for my frizzy, uneven hair and my ill-fitting clothes? Why has my face broken out again? Why am I so nervous I'm actually nauseated? Will I be able to get the sleep I desperately need this weekend?

Please pray for me if you are so inclined. I see this weekend going one of two ways: 1.) I pull my usual stunts when I'm overwhelmed and I basically cower in a corner and don't talk to anyone because I'm intimidated. 2.) By the grace of God I'm able to reach out and partake in conversations and develop real friendships with other women who have similar interests.

Let's hope for the latter!

4 comments:

  1. Your writing always conveys authenticity, warmth and kindness. I can't imagine that anyone who meets you at this conference would be able to notice any flaw whatsoever in the face of such genuine gifts! Enjoy yourself and be proud for stepping out of your comfort zone whether you take further bold steps when you get there. You are exactly as you should be and plenty enough "as is".

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    1. Your comments never fail to lift my spirits. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

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  2. No we didn't get a chance to connect-I'm definitely disappointed! I so identify with your comments above about being a homebody, liking routine and being nervous and intimidated. Going to the Influence Conference was way out of my comfort zone, but I'm so glad I went. Are you on Facebook? I need to friend you! :)

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