Friday, April 11, 2014

31 Weeks: Showered with Love

Such a cliche title, I know. But bear with me. My first baby shower was this past Sunday and it was so happy and humbling for me. It's still hard for me to believe that people would want to do stuff for me. To buy stuff for my baby. To go out of their way and do something completely unnecessary! It makes me teary-eyed just thinking about it! (I couldn't let myself read cards at the shower, lest I cry and mess up my eye makeup since I only wear that much makeup, like, once a year).

In spite of my extreme introverted awkwardness and paranoia that everyone is inconvenienced by me, the garden-themed shower was so great. Jami and Rachel hosted and it was quite convoluted trying to explain to my mom how I knew these great women:

Rachel started working at the KU NICU the same day I did back in 2009, so she was one of my first real friends in Kansas City.

Rachel bought her house from Jami and her husband that year, and then kept in touch with them. Who does that?!

I met Jami in passing at Rachel's house-warming party in 2010.

Jami and her husband set Rachel up with her (now) husband in 2012.

Rachel shared something from Jami's blog that spring, so I started reading it the week Jami posted this. Later that same week (I'm not even making this up) I learned something about my own marriage that caused me to e-mail Jami: Ummm I think my marriage is falling apart. You've been there. Can you help me?

I sat in Jami's attic a few weeks later, all bruised up on the outside from surgery, and all numb on the inside from the vast and seemingly abrupt turn my life had just taken. Everything I thought I knew had fallen away and I couldn't even cry. Jami just sat there on the couch in the attic and listened to this stranger tell her life story. What's more, is that God gave Jami the grace to walk through everything with me for the entire next year!

My husband lived with Rachel's husband (then boyfriend) for a bit that summer.

Jami faithfully walked with me through a really rough season, and she's one of the few people who has really seen the utter ugliness of my own heart. I'm so thankful she doesn't just cringe at the sight of me! Knowing her has been redemptive for my marriage, but it's also been redemptive for my own heart. I'm still learning how to have friends and how to love people and how to let them love me. I thank God that he's given Jami the fortitude to stick with me!

Ross and I were in the Nato's Redemption Group this time last year, which was another hard season, but so so so fruitful in the end. (I'm grateful some of those women were also able to be at the shower today!)

Rachel has also seen a lot of my cringe-worthy moments, and she's been so good to stick with me. We've been determined to learn how to be friends together since we were both so lonely when we moved here!

In late 2012, Rachel and I both left the NICU we worked at, for different reasons, but I'm thankful we still see each other. She started a book club of sorts on Thursday nights and it's been helpful for me since I'm so bad at keeping in touch with people I don't just see out of convenience!
Basically, I have no idea how I got so lucky, but God clearly orchestrated the presence of these patient and kind women in my life. And that they know each other and collaborated for a cute garden-themed baby shower is basically the best thing ever.

SO. The shower. I was so overwhelmed that I actually have friends, and so flattered that they threw such a sweet shower that I might have been stunned into silence. I mean, food is one of my love languages and they had an entire TABLE of gluten and dairy-free foods. And it was all cute and delicious! I basically felt like a queen.

So... do you just really like vegetables? No! I mean, yes. But the baby's nursery is garden-themed!


So cute

The company was great and people just went above and beyond with gifts. Everything was absolutely perfect.

Such a sweet afternoon

Rachel, me, Jami (please don't kill me for posting this, Jami!)

Rachel, Cara, me, Whitney, Kim, Shannon

Santina + me. Friends since 5th grade. So excited she's also having a boy this summer!

It all went by so quickly, and I'm sitting here scratching my head thinking, did that just happen? There was a baby shower for ME? What a crazy moment. I'm so overwhelmed with gratitude.

This baby boy doesn't even know how lucky he is. I'm certainly aware of how lucky I am, though. Thank you Rachel and Jami!!!

Other updates from this week:

Baby started getting the hiccups once or twice a day this week. So funny! And judging by the flailing arms and legs when they start, he seems to be a little confused by them. On my end, I'm doing okay, just feeling bigger by the day. The best parts of my day are when the baby starts squirming for a few minutes. His movements are bigger than ever and while none of them hurt, sometimes I'm surprised by the force he can put behind a good elbow swipe!

Emotionally, I'm extremely stressed by this move. We have to be out of our apartment in one week and our house isn't even close to being liveable. What started off as "just redoing the kitchen" has turned into a complete cascade of everything going wrong. Seriously, I don't think there's a system in the house that isn't affected: we've had to deal with HVAC, plumbing, electric, walls, floors, ceilings, and multiple rooms not being what they appear to be and needing something done about it. Just when we think we're making progress and starting to catch up, something else goes wrong. As if moving wasn't stressful enough!

I'm trying to help out at the house, but then I just end up frustrated. Of course just starting this week, I can't really bend at the waist quickly, and my swelling gets pretty bad after standing on my feet for a bit. A few hours there of seemingly light work, and I'm totally gone. This frustration combined with the stress of moving, and I'm ready to just fast forward a month (which I never thought I'd say because here I sit two months away from my due date worried that time is passing too quickly). But note to self: never ever ever ever move or renovate during pregnancy again.

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