21 Weeks: Exercise During Pregnancy

When I was at Body Pump this morning I noticed the bar was starting to consistently hit the bump on my clean and presses and I realized I'd been incredibly lucky so far with working out during pregnancy. I thought I'd write about how it's gone for the first 21 weeks, knowing it could all change any day now!

This summer, I think I was in the best shape I'd been in since high school. I was also eating plenty, so I don't think I necessarily looked more fit than I had in the past, but I felt strong, I had endurance, I looked forward to working out, and I wasn't injured for the first time in years! (I credit the chiropractor 100%).

Before leaving for Slovenia, I was in a groove of happily working out 4-5 days a week. The mix usually included 1-2 runs, 1-2 Body Pump classes, and/or 1-2 swim workouts. I think the combo of cardio, strength training, and low-impact swimming was a good one for my body, emotionally and physically.

I didn't work out while we were in Slovenia, but we did do lots of walking. The week we got back, I was sick as a dog with laryngitis so I think I went to 1 Body Pump class? The week after that, I could definitely tell that my inactivity was taking a toll emotionally and physically, but I had that positive pregnancy test in the back of my mind and I was a little nervous about messing something up.

After reading in numerous books, though, that exercise was okay-- good for the baby, in fact-- I knew I needed to get back in the routine. The general school of thought is that as long as you were in a routine of working out pre-pregnancy, there's no reason you can't maintain that as long as you feel okay with it in pregnancy. Even the old rule of keeping your heart rate below 140 isn't really applicable anymore. Instead, they recommend going by how you feel: if you're dizzy, lightheaded, or feel like your heart is racing, stop.

Now we know that there are many benefits of exercise during pregnancy, for both mom and baby.  Safe, moderate exercise improves mood/body image, helps maintain a healthy weight gain, strengthens muscles, and prepares the body for childbirth.  Some studies have demonstrated a link between exercise and a lower risk for complications like gestational diabetes and preeclampsia.  Furthermore, “Previous research has indicated that exercise in the first trimester, when the placenta is formed, helps forge extra blood vessels so that there is more opportunity to exchange nutrients between mom and baby” (source). And last, but certainly not least, when the mom exercises, the baby’s heart benefits, too – resulting in a lower and more efficient fetal heart rate (source). 

Sounds good, right? The CDC actually recommends that healthy women get at least 150 minutes (2 hours and 30 minutes) per week of moderate-intensity aerobic activity, such as brisk walking, during and after their pregnancy. Furthermore, they say that healthy women who already do vigorous-intensity aerobic activity, such as running, or large amounts of activity can continue doing so during and after their pregnancy provided they stay healthy and discuss with their health care provider how and when activity should be adjusted over time.

I keep reminding myself that if I think it's hard to fit in a workout now, it's going to be infinitely harder to fit one in after the baby is born! For now, it gives me something tangible to do to take care of the baby and to take care of me.

I've been aiming for 3-4 workouts a week, and barring bad work weeks and sickness, I've been fortunate enough to make that happen so far. So far, my workouts have been a mix of running (now elliptical), Body Pump, and Zumba. I have a feeling these will start to transition toward walking, swimming, Body Pump, and yoga as I get farther along.

In the first trimester, it was HARD to drag myself to the gym, but working out got rid of my nausea every single time. I did notice things starting to get harder as my blood volume expanded, but I was able to make small modifications during those workouts to get through without a problem. Now that I'm in the second trimester, I've been reaping the benefits of extra energy without (too much) extra weight holding me back yet. (Although I do tell myself that pregnancy weight gain has been a good way to raise my squat weight without adjusting the bar- ha!) As long as I remember to bring water to the gym and eat right after my workout, I'm good to go. At this point, many workouts are more mental than emotional, and I figure it's good practice for labor... you can't quit because you're tired then, right?!

Sadly, I did have to stop running around 15 weeks when my IT band started to hurt again. I was hoping pregnancy would loosen that sucker up, but I think in loosening my hips, it actually put more stress on my IT band. I started tilting my chest press bench at 18 weeks, and I stopped doing situps at 19 weeks and switched to side planks + a few Pilates moves during the abs portion of class. At 19 weeks I also noticed the bump starting to get in the way of my clean and presses.  It's not affecting my form yet, but it'll be a little bittersweet when it does. The upside is that when we do deadlift rows, I don't have to pull as far to get the bar to my belly button ;-)

If I've learned anything in the last 21 weeks of working out, it's that I'm not in control of my body nearly as much as I think I am. It's been really weird to watch the scale rise when I'm working out and eating more or less the same. But I love that it's something baby and I can do "together" right now that's good for both of us.

---

Cravings: Vegetables! I have eating way too many grains and way too few vegetables this week. It's hard for me to eat a lot of greens in the winter anyway, but it's also hard because not everything is appealing all the time and sometimes the thought of forcing vegetables down keeps me from even trying. We're going to Cafe Gratitude for dinner tonight and I'm so excited... veggies always seem to taste better when someone else prepares them!


Aversions: I haven't really had any for weeks, but this week the aforementioned vegetables haven't been too appealing. My nausea has also started coming and going, although it's not nearly at first trimester proportions. I think there's been a major hormonal swing and growth spurt going on.



Overall: Last week was EXTREMELY emotional, and this week I've noticed the return of a few first trimester symptoms, telling me that perhaps my growth spurt prediction from last week did indeed happen. The scale jumped up 2 pounds (no doubt because I'm hungry and eating every 1-2 hours), parents at work (who knew I was pregnant) have started commenting that it's visible in scrubs now, and I can feel baby moving more and more-- Ross is even able to feel occasional movement when I lay down in the evening giving the baby the freedom to move around.

I can tell my abs and my skin are stretching. I used to joke that with my IBS, if I ate something that didn't disagree with me, I looked 5 months pregnant thanks to bloating. Now I know that's not quite true. Bloating is really uncomfortable, higher up on my torso, and painful but possible to suck it in and get my jeans on. Now I know that for me, 5 months pregnant ACTUALLY looks like a round but hard lower abdomen that's visible when I lay down at night and I can't suck it in for the life of me. It's looking normal from the front but foreign from the side. It's not minding nearly as much as I thought I would when I hit a new weight bracket on the scale, officially surpassing my highest-ever weight. It's feeling pretty foreign from the ribs down, but looking fairly normal from the ribs up. My OB said this week that she thinks 20-week uteruses (uteri?) are the cutest thing ever and I might have to agree. It's so distinct, but still so tiny! I think I'm finally reaching the point where I'm starting to feel pregnant in a good way, and it makes me so happy!

I'm starting to understand people who say they looove pregnancy. Last week's ultrasound took an awfully long time to sink in, but now I'm starting to believe that that baby boy, the one who has been growing away for 21 weeks, is actually in there. I absolutely love him and we cannot wait to meet him!

Hot Yoga, Cold Day

Winter Wonderland Wednesday is already getting difficult for me. Which is the point, I guess. It's definitely cold here. Getting to work involves windshield scraping, numb fingers, and frozen ears. You'll only hear me say this once but I miss night shift right now. Garage parking suddenly seems so worth it!

Anyway, I'm here to celebrate things I love about winter. Today, I love Bikram Yoga. I can't afford a year-round yoga pass, but I don't know that I'd want to. I appreciate hot yoga more when it's cold outside. Put me in the salty, sticky air of the Florida Keys and I'm in heaven. Partly because my nailbeds will no longer be blue, but also because humidity is the great equalizer. Nice clothes? Makeup? Smooth hair? What's the point? In a tropical heat wave, my style (or lack thereof) is finally in fashion!

Striking a (Standing Bow) pose at home after class

But I digress. Few things are better than walking into a dressing room with 4 layers on, stripping down to spandex, racing across the cold concrete floor by the reception desk, prying open the door, and sighing with happiness when that wave of heat hits you. I finally thaw. Yesterday's class was especially sweaty, which was welcome after our coldest week yet. (It's hard to believe that just 2 weeks ago, I was running outside in a tank top. You probably couldn't pay me to do that this week.)

This is my 3rd winter doing Bikram Yoga and my 8th class this season. I am finally seeing improvements and I consistently try every posture, pleased to find that I can almost always hold some form of it the entire time. It's also been a great break from running, but I'm hoping that it improves my running as well. Aside from the obvious cardiovascular benefits (the high temps really get your heart pumping), yoga helps me figure out what needs the most stretching from one week to the next. I also love leaving class with quivering jelly legs instead of the board-stiff brick legs I get after running.

Hot yoga makes cold weather much more bearable.

Your Life is Now

**Please excuse what I'm sure will be an excessively verbose post written in a haze of 

post-run euphoria. Read at your own risk.**

I really needed today's run! I felt a little guilty leaving the last bit of heavy furniture moving to Ross and my cousins to go run for 2 hours, but I really wanted to run, felt good enough to run, had perfect running weather, and needed to catch up on my training plan.

I only ran 12 miles total last week and ran that same amount all at once today. However, I am realistic enough to suspect that last week's unplanned "taper" certainly attributed to my mental and physical ability to run today. (And 5 days of Prednisone to calm my asthma back down certainly didn't hurt).

My legs were not extremely fond of me when I woke up this morning, thanks to all the stairs we did while moving yesterday, but I took it as a good sign that I was still chomping at the bit to run. Actually wanting to run has been a struggle for me lately.

I decided to run from the apartment to the Plaza. I knew the route and wouldn't have to second-guess trails ending, unknown elevation, etc. There were definitely rolling hills (my Garmin says about 1200 feet of total elevation change each way) and traffic, but I got out early enough to beat most of the traffic, at least.

The first 1.5 miles flew by (I don't know if I've ever said that in my life) and it felt so good to run without wheezing! I was just focused on getting to 4 miles (to take my Cliff Shot) and not thinking beyond that, lest I get overwhelmed. I had a great playlist of songs from high school, which helped a lot. I walked 1 minute for every 5 minutes of running, per usual, although it seems like every other 'walk' break actually involved me standing still and stretching my legs out.

I took that first Shot and was loving the sunshine and beautiful weather by mile 4. My hands were numb from cold, but that was my only complaint. I made it to the Plaza and did get a little overwhelmed when I turned around, realizing that was the farthest away I could possibly be and if I had to quit or walk, it'd be a LONG morning from there. Miles 6-8 were kind of rough, especially because traffic was getting worse and I was on a stretch with no shoulder or sidewalk (really, Kansas City? Be more pedestrian friendly.) I kept changing my stride to keep my legs warm and chugging along.

I took my second Shot right after mile 8 and definitely needed it. My legs were getting tired. I also wanted some more water then, too, but had to ration. (I was carrying a water bottle as I ran. I'm so glad I had it and it's an easy bottle to carry, but now my arms are sore. Lame!)

Shortly after that, I was cruising into familiar territory again and I knew I had a nice neighborhood and a downhill to end with. But first I had to climb back up into the neighborhood. Mile 11 was definitely the hardest. My legs were getting really stiff and heavy, and oddly getting cold which didn't help the stiffness. I got a pain behind my right knee and started to get worried.

Thankfully, John Mellencamp's "Your Life is Now" came on and energized me.

...This is your time, to do what you will do

Your life is now

Your life is now

Your life is now

In this undiscovered moment

Lift your head up above the crowd

We could shake this world

If you would only show us how

Your life is now...

I have been getting overwhelmed thinking about marathon mileage and training, and doubting weather I want to do it anymore. But this song reminded me, "if not now, when?!" It's something I've wanted to do for so long, and I'm slowly starting to think I CAN actually do it. (At least, a half seems totally attainable. Even doable in 2 hours and 30 minutes which is my goal!)

That song was just what I needed to dig deep, speed up a little, and finish strong! I'm so thankful that my breathing was pretty comfortable during today's run. That allowed me to just focus on my form and avoid further injury. I know I'm cutting it close with a busy week of work coming up and a few more long runs before I taper my half marathon, which is in *GULP* twenty-one days! I'm hoping today's run was a good step in the right direction!

Not all Runs are Good

Today's run managed to NOT be an epic fail for one reason and one reason only: I finished the 6.2 miles I set out to do.  I did not finish fast, even though there were fewer hills than I'm used to.  My legs did not feel good afterward, even though I hadn't run since last Wednesday. My water break was more helpful than hurtful, since it gave me a sidestitch for the last 2 miles.

I could attribute it to the fact that I haven't been eating well lately. Lots of unhealthy treats (are they still treats when you eat multiple ones in place of healthier food at meal times?) and not enough vegetables.

I could blame the fact that Ross and I are housesitting/babysitting so I'm not sleeping in my own bed, eating my own food, or living in my relatively allergen-free apartment. When I wake up with sore knees, hips, back, and shoulders, I know the mattress I've been sleeping on is too hard. Starting a run with aching joints is not encouraging.

I forgot to get my allergy shot last week (September is flying by!) and I need to refill my Sudafed. The 80+ degree sunshine and what felt like 80% humidity was a killer icing on top of this allergen-crazy-house + absence-of-allergy-shot-and-asthma-medicine cake. (I also forgot my Xopenex inhaler, which could have helped pre-run).

I felt GREAT the first two miles, pushed through to three, and then basically fell apart. My pace went from 10-minute miles to 12-minute miles. My hips and knees were complaining. I would've carried a scythe if it would have cut through the humidity and allowed me to breathe easier.

But I came home and took an ice bath.

+

And then a long, hot shower.

I was tempted to call it a bad run and make 1,000 excuses, but:

a) not all runs are amazing. That's the nature of the beast.

b) A year ago, I could barely run 2 miles in run-2-minute, walk-2-minute intervals, so this run is still a success. It's the longest I've run since senior year of high school and I'm proud of that fact! I always considered myself a runner, even during my years-long lapse in running, but now I'm proving it to myself again. (What does that say about me? Hopelessly optimistic or naively ignorant?)

c) Running is a surprisingly equal-opportunity sport. The only person you can fairly compete with is yourself. And despite my whining and grumbling, this run was actually (shockingly) only a minute slower than my goal of 70 minutes. I just need to even out my pace a bit for next week's run.

I'm running my first official 10k next Sunday and I'm so excited! Each long run makes my marathon dream more real. I've started and stopped marathon training twice. Once was in college when I was going to run the Dallas White Rock Marathon with Team in Training. (Hence the shirt I'm wearing in today's picture). I feel really bad about this one because I raised all the money I needed to (thanks to generous friends and family) but about a month into it, I got shingles and a month after that, I got viral pharyngitis. My doctor said no marathon. Something (nursing school, no doubt) was messing with my immune system and stressing my body more would make it worse.

The second attempt was last summer. Ross and I were really getting into it and suffering through long, hot runs after work (it helped that I got out of work earlier in Texas. It also helped that we had a trail system in our backyard). But then we found out we were moving the same weekend as the marathon I'd signed up for and I quit. I could've kept running, but I didn't. This year, I did. I ran through night shift, I ran through terrible heat waves, I'm running through hills since I don't have a gym membership, and I'm oddly looking forward to running through cold and snow (please feel free to remind me of this when I complain later).

And this year, one bad run isn't going to get the best of me!

Something to think about: Need motivation? Check out this video that's gone viral lately: All you have to do, is do it.

Inspiration Board

Growing up, August always meant back-to-school shopping and browsing through catalogs at all the knit sweaters, plaid skirts, and warm tights. Every school year was a clean slate. Well, we're already into September (how did that happen?!) but I still think fall is a chance to start fresh.

Even though I'm no longer in school, I really needed to do something about my mindset. You see, I love fall. But fall means winter is coming. I do love parts of winter: the silence of the first snow, cozy sweaters, lots of hot chocolate and hot tea, sitting in front of the fireplace at my parent's house... but it all gets old after a month or so. I'm dreading going out to my car in the sub-freezing temperatures to go to work. I'm dreading hiking to my car in the dark after a long day and having to scrape the windshields. My little car doesn't handle icy roads well, and neither do I. Come January, I'm ready for SUNSHINE and WARMTH.

Inspired by another blogger, I decided to make an inspiration board of things to work towards in the next 6 months. You see, it's only September. I'm getting too far ahead of myself. And I have a lot to look forward to this winter. Like Gina said, "Fall is the perfect time of year to re-evaluate your goals and see where your priorities lie before the year ends."



Here's a look back at my 2010 Resolutions:

1) Pray daily with Ross again 
FAIL. But there's no time like the present to renew a resolution.

2) Find a church 
I think we've decided on Redeemer Fellowship. Now we just need to become regular attendees. It's taken me a long time to realize we will not find a carbon copy of our Ft. Worth church in the middle of Kansas, as ideal as that would have been.

3) Stick to a budget and use cash for most day-to-day purchases 
Most months, this is a success. Traveling a lot (and using 2 days of PTO) messed this up a bit in July and August, but for the most part we're doing well and even putting money into savings every month.

4) Make friends in my new city
This is taking so much longer than I'd hoped, but I'm finally starting to get out more.

5) Do yoga once (or more) a week while training for the Cowtown Marathon in February 2011
Yoga is not financially viable year-round right now, but I have been consistently training for a 10k this month, a 1/2 marathon in November, and the marathon in February. Come November, I'm excited to work Bikram Yoga into my training schedule again.

6) Eat at least one serving of fruits or vegetables at every meal
This has definitely improved in the past year, thanks in part to healthy living blogs I've started reading. It's good to see other active young women with a balanced mindset toward food. Also, the CSA has been a great source of local vegetables and new flavors. This summer I started to aim for 5+ servings of produce a day, but even on my lazy/low-grocery days, 3 servings is pretty standard.

7) Laugh more
I'm starting to smile more (some days it's fake it 'til you make it) and I'd like to think I'm more pleasant on a day-to-day basis, although I've noticed that my mood can be directly related to how tired I am.

8) Read more
I'm ashamed to admit that I read the Twilight series in 5 days this spring and I read all 16 books of the Stephanie Plum Series this summer. It takes me no time flat to read guilty-pleasure books. Now I've moved on to The Autobiography of Saint Therese of Lisieux: The Story of a Soul (the saint I was named after) and The Happiness Project (which was actually written by a Kansas City native).

9) Cook more
Given the fact that I've posted enough recipes here to justify a recipe page, I think it's safe to say I'm cooking more! 

10) Play more
Still a work in progress. I need to spend less time on the computer and more time enjoying the sunshine while it's still here.

Here's what I want to/plan to do in the next six months (that's from the beginning of September through the end of February):

1) Run a 10k, half marathon, and marathon (in case I haven't said that enough)!

2) Buy a 3 month Bikram pass this November and go at least once a week.

3) Cross-train/lift weights twice a week.

4) Continue to eat as locally as I can, even as the CSA dwindles and I rely more on frozen organic veggies and less on fresh produce. (This includes the more specific goal of taking Ross to Nebraska City this fall to pick apples, stock up on apple butter and homemade jam, and enjoying the local, seasonal bounty and the essence of being outdoors in the fall.)

5) Spend more time thanking God for the life he has given me, and loving God as much as my little heart is capable of.

6) Spend less time on the computer, get outside more, and sleep better.

7) Start saving more money for a new car (hopefully it lasts more than 6 more months, but it's time to start saving more in anticipation).

8) Attain my RNC certification. I'm taking a 3-day study course in October and plan to take the computerized test before December 15 (the day I graduated from nursing school in 2007).

I have a few other exciting goals for the next 2 years, but those are for another inspiration board another day!

If you read this far, thank you. I'd love to hear YOUR goals for the next 6 months as well! To quote Gina again, "Things don’t happen by accident- they’re always the result of hard work and the most meaningful goals are the ones that are not-so-easy to attain."

Change the way you see, not the way you look

If you watch Oprah or Good Morning America, you may have already heard about Operation Beautiful this summer. I heard about it because the author, Caitlin Boyle, also writes one of my favorite blogs: Healthy Tipping Point. In honor of her book being published, she dedicated a week of blogging to discussing how women need to change the way they see themselves, instead of focusing so much on hating the way they look.

Spring Break 2006

It's almost embarrassing to talk about this, because I'm 25 and married. I have a good job and a good life. Yet put me in front of the mirror for too long and I'll go crazy. Most days, I don't wear makeup. Some people would mistakenly think I make that choice because I'm so comfortable in my own skin. In fact, it's because when I really try to do my makeup and hair for a special occasion, it never turns out the way I had hoped. I get discouraged and end up feeling less attractive than I did before putting effort into my appearance.

I am slowly learning to see the merit in dressing up and feeling better about myself (a 'fake it 'til you make it' approach). But most days you'll either find me in my scrubs, workout clothes, or sweats with no makeup, and my hair in a ponytail.

Amarillo 2007

I'm big on negative self-talk. It's a habit I've been trying to break ever since I started reading positive blogs like Caitlin's, but it's a long process. It doesn't help when I work with all women. As a group, we are catty. We gossip. Not only are we not supportive of each other as often as we should be, but we're often not supportive of ourselves.  It breaks my heart when I see a friend struggling, yet I think nothing of beating myself up for my supposed flaws. I'm an intelligent woman. I know this doesn't make sense. But how can it stop?

Part of my answer is seeing that other women have moved beyond it. Many of the blogs I list as my favorites are more than just food blogs. These are women my age writing about being healthy in the real world-- physically and MENTALLY. They are not diet blogs. These bloggers bake amazing cookies with real butter. They train for and run ultra-marathons in addition to working full-time jobs. They publish books at the age of 26. It's amazing what you can accomplish when your mind and body work together instead of against each other.

Colorado 2009

I took a picture of my own Operation Beautiful note this morning and actually thought, "maybe I should put makeup on to cover this huge pimple on my forehead and the circles under my eyes. I look gross." But then I caught myself in the middle of negative self-talk! Ashamed, I took the picture and walked away.

Ross didn't know this was my handwriting. Boys.

Afterward, I went to my friend Tiffany's apartment to do a ballet DVD. She's the one who got me into ballet back in 3rd grade! We talked and worked out for 30 minutes. Good for the body and the heart.

Early in the afternoon, I took cupcakes to work to say goodbye to my primary and my associate patient. (They both went home on the same day. Work will be sad for a little while.)  I bought a treat for myself, too, and enjoyed it with relish!

Chocolate! Picture courtesy of Dolce Baking Company's website.

Then I went to Lawrence with Ross and hung out at a coffee shop while he went to his first grad school class of the semester. We went to dinner at The Local Burger and grocery shopping at The Merc. It was the most time we'd spent together in a long time, between me traveling and our opposite work schedules. We had fun talking about nothing and everything.

This evening, I was running on the treadmill and it faces a mirror. I could have been thinking, "eww that jiggles" or, "maybe I shouldn't wear spandex this tight." Instead, I only 'allowed' myself to think positive things like, "it's awesome that you actually went running after putting it off all day!" And "look how strong your legs have gotten." Corny as that is, it actually did cheer me up!

There are a few posts from "Change the Way You See, Not the Way You Look" week that really resonated with me.  One was by a mom named Sarah who is raising two little girls. She says she actually wanted to have girls in hopes of raising "confident, strong, and secure girls since I never was myself." She has a few ideas about how to do this, and I recognize these as things my own mom did as well: Value girls for who they are instead of what the look like. Don't talk about other people's bodies. Lead by example. Sarah says,

Somewhere along the way in my first few years of parenting girls, my own confidence grew and my acting became believing.  I thought about how I would feel if my girls scrutinized themselves they way I had.  I looked at their rounded bellies, their full cheeks and chins and their dimply thighs and imagined what I would tell them if they agonized over these “flaws.”  Most of all though, I worried about how I could teach them about valuing themselves and valuing others beyond what they saw in the mirror, if I wasn’t willing to give that gift to myself.

She ends her amazing post by asking, if you could write an Operation Beautiful note to your teenage self, what would you say?  I thought about it, and there are thousands of things I'd like to warn myself about. But considering that most of high school I was very preoccupied with my body, I think the message that would stick the most is, "being skinny won't make you happy. But being happy will make you feel beautiful!"

High school friends the summer we graduated

Looking back, the pictures I love most are those in which I'm happy, regardless of where I was in my body struggles at the time.  I've been relatively the same size for about 7 years now, but that can look very different (to me at least) from one picture to the next. The genuine smiles and glowing cheeks are what make the pictures look good or bad.  With this in mind, I actually like the pictures of me from my recent trip to Texas. I was having fun and I was in a comfortable environment. BLISS. (I'm convinced this is why kids can't take bad pictures. They're always so happy!)

Avery and me at Central Market

On the other hand, it's really hard to like what you see in the mirror when you know you haven't been nice to your body. Most recently, I hated how I looked on night shift. I was always puffy and tired. I ate anything and everything at work just to stay awake. Junk food at 3am makes you feel better briefly, but it makes you feel so much worse in the long run. Especially when it becomes a regular occurrence. Yes, I was working out during this time, but I was unhappy, unhealthy overall, and overtired.

A blogger named Emilie also recognizes this connection.  In her post, she says,

It's wonderful to be positive and to tell women:  "You are beautiful just they way you are."  And I love the sentiment behind Operation Beautiful, but Caitlin's mission, I think, is even more rich than that.  Some women look at themselves in the mirror and don't like what they see no matter what they see, and Caitlin is striving to teach women not to be so hard on themselves.  But for a lot of women, and this was true for me, the negative self image is connected to the knowledge that there needed to be some lifestyle changes.  I didn't like how I looked at all a few years ago, when I also knew that I needed to get myself in shape and start making healthier choices.  Now I'm pretty satisfied because what I see in the mirror, while by no means perfect, is coupled with my knowledge that I'm eating healthy and exercising regularly. 

This definitely clicked with me. I feel better about myself now that I'm running than I did 8 months ago, even though I haven't really lost weight. There have been several points in my life when my negative self image is connected to the knowledge that I need to make some lifestyle changes. It was impossible (and it almost felt hypocritical) for me to look in the mirror this last winter and think, you're perfect the way you are. I knew things needed to change. In junior high, my mom gave me a Christian book about inner beauty and one of the things that has stuck with me is that God can say, I love you just the way you are, and I love you too much to let you stay the way you are. We need to learn to tell ourselves the same thing sometimes.

Florida Keys 2009

The third post that really stood out to me was by an awesome girl named Angela. Her blog is positive, uplifting, and real. She's so good at putting things into words. I read her writing and think it's like she read my mind! She's a few steps ahead of me on the self-acceptance thing, though. Her post was on the idea of a 'happy weight.'  She says,

I always told myself in 10 pounds, I would finally be happy. All I had to do was lose 10 pounds and achieve ‘x’ weight and my life would fall into place. In 10 pounds, I could eat normally, binges would stop, and I could stop hating myself. All I had to do was lose 10 pounds and my problems would be solved. I would love myself in 10 pounds….but not yet.

Sound familiar? I recognize a lot of myself in this attitude, and I'm slowly coming to terms with it. When you think about it, isn't it obvious that when you allow an extrinsic factor to determine your happiness, you will never be happy?! In the end, Angela knows she's at her 'happy weight' now, but she doesn't know what that actual number is. And that's okay.

Here's her Operation Beautiful note:

There's a quote from the book Eat, Pray, Love that I highlighted a while ago (I'd also like to say I fell in love with the book when the movie was just a twinkle in Elizabeth Gilbert's eye). Gilbert is journaling as her life falls apart around her and says,

This is what I find myself writing to myself on the page: I’m here. I love you. I don’t care if you need to stay up crying all night long. I will stay with you…There is nothing you can ever do to lose my love. I am stronger than Depression and I am braver than Loneliness and nothing will ever exhaust me.

Tonight, this strange interior gesture of friendship- the lending of a hand from me to myself- reminds me of something that happened to me in New York City. I walked into an office building and dashed into the elevator. As I rushed in, I caught an unexpected glimpse of myself in the mirror. In that moment my brain did an odd thing- it fired off this split-second message: ‘Hey! You know her! That’s a friend of yours!' And I actually ran forward toward my own reflection with a smile, ready to welcome that girl whose name I had lost but whose face was so familiar. In a flash instant, of course, I realized my mistake and laughed in embarrassment at my almost doglike confusion over how a mirror works. But for some reason that incident comes to mind again tonight during my sadness in Rome and I find myself writing this comforting reminder at the bottom of the page: Never forget that once upon a time, in an unguarded moment, you recognized yourself as a friend.”

Amarillo 2007

Some of the things I say to myself, I would never dream of saying out loud to a friend I loved. It would hurt their feelings and damage our friendship. (More to the point, I have never even thought these things about my friends because physical appearance is not what makes me love them.) So why on earth do I continue to say these things to myself? When it comes to broken hearts, I have no one to blame but myself. Treating myself with kindness should be the rule, not the exception.

Canada 2008

Finally, about my own Operation Beautiful note. The Serenity Prayer is wonderful because it's so applicable to so many situations:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference. 

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.

Friends at my bachelorette party in 2008

I CAN do my part to reach out and make friends. I can train for a marathon and fuel my body with real food. I cannot change my weak chin or crooked nose. But with time and practice (and certainly a generous amount of gentle forgiveness) I can learn to accept those things the way they are. I can't change the way I look, but I can change the way I see.

Wedding day 2008

Own It

Ross and I ran 4 miles this morning! Well, we ran 5 minutes and walked 1 minute and repeated that pattern until we'd covered the distance we needed. But 4 miles is still 4 miles and I'm going to own that accomplishment! It took long enough to get here. 

 

The farthest I've ever run in my life is 13.1 miles, but that was 7 years ago. So for now, 4 miles is a new personal distance record (PDR).  Running in the shade and the slightly cooler weather helped so much! As did a good iPod mix. And knowing Ross was behind me, expecting me to finish.

 On to Week 4 of my 10k training plan!

Yogging

I've ashamed to admit that I've seen my fair share of Will Ferrell movies. Most of the popular ones came out when I was in high school and college-- prime time for wasting time and money on stupid movies! One of my favorite quotes is from Ron Burgundy in Anchorman:

"Veronica and I are trying this new fad called, uh, jogging. I believe it's jogging or yogging. It might be a soft 'j'. I'm not sure, but apparently you just run for an extended period of time. It's supposed to be wild!"

I just finished a 2.2 mile run that was so much harder than it should have been. I'm on week 2 of my 10k training plan and my weekly mileage has actually dropped 1 or 2 miles in the last two weeks. It should be easier, right? On days like this, I have to remind myself of the good runs and the weeks I know I'm improving.  And when I finish that 10k in September (and that half marathon in November, and that marathon in February), I know the feeling of accomplishment is going to be wild!

Third Time's a Charm

Today was the third time I've run 3 miles without walking in less than 3 weeks!  That may not sound like much, but it's such an accomplishment for me. Back when I was struggling to run 2 minutes at a time without a walking break, I couldn't imagine reaching this point again. Today's run was on the slow-ish side, but I was more focused on finishing than running fast, and I was actually (relatively speaking) comfortable for most of the run.  I was still in Omaha so the slightly cooler weather and the early morning cloud cover helped immensely and I was even able to run up the 1/4 mile-long hill up to my parent's street at the end of the run!

I had set a goal to run 3 miles in under 32 minutes by the end of July, and I'm proud to say I met that goal last Wednesday!  Today's run in 35 minutes on hilly terrain was just the icing on the cake. Now I'm moving on to my 10k training plan for August/September and I'm so excited that I'm (knock on wood) ready to start working on more endurance. So far, the farthest I've run this year is 3.5 miles.  Hopefully that'll change in the next 3-4 weeks! Is it odd that I'm looking forward to lower-mileage speed work and increasingly longer long runs?

I've been listening to a lot of Glee songs while running, because they're so upbeat.  I particularly like this mash-up of Beyonce's "Halo" and the classic "Walking on Sunshine."

I love the opening lines:

Remember those walls I built
Well, baby they're tumbling down
They didn't even put up a fight
They didn't even make up a sound

It's like I've been awakened
Every rule I had you breakin'
It's the risk that I'm takin'
I ain't never gonna shut you out

Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace

Granted, this song is about love but for some reason those words make me so happy to be running. I imagine myself pushing through those invisible barriers my mind creates when I feel like quitting and it reminds me of the walls I've already broken through in the last few months. Corny, I know, but whatever work, right?

Running is becoming a saving grace. Onward to my 10k!

You Are So Much Stronger Than You Think

My gym membership has officially expired. I loved having a membership in Texas because they had just built a gym right down the street from us. Here, the gym is a good 10-20 minute drive, depending on traffic. This drive stresses me out to the extent that it cancels out any endorphins I earned during my workout! Plus, we're not exactly rolling in the dough with two full-time incomes anymore. A gym membership just doesn't make sense right now.

I'm getting used to running outside again (my first love) and doing random speed workouts on the apartment treadmill. Running in the heat is SO MUCH HARDER than I remembered! Early in the summer, I was good about getting out early to beat the heat. I'm dragging lately, and even if I got up early I'd still have the humidity.

My last three workouts have been some of the hardest of my life (at least it feels like it at the time, even though they've been nothing special). The other day, running an eleven minute mile on the track took so much effort I felt like my Garmin should've been reading an 8-minute-mile pace!

Fortunately, my July Runner's World made me feel a little better: Every five-degree increase above 60 degrees Fahrenheit can slow your pace 20-30 seconds per mile.  This would mean that the effort it takes me to run 12 minute miles in 90-degree heat could be the same as me running a 9 or 10 minute mile at 60 degrees, the ideal running temperature. After my run the other day at 90 degrees and 60% humidity, I definitely believe that!

For now, I'm so proud of every single workout that I complete and I've adopted this runner's mantra: You are so much stronger than you think. You are so much stronger than you know!

*It takes patience to become the best runner you can be... running is a long-term sport. It is set up for people who value delayed gratification and who like hard-earned success* -Anthony Famiglietti, two-time Olympian and six-time national champion

This Morning

I ran 3.1 miles outside in the blazing sunshine and I DIDN'T WALK ONCE! I also ran it in a reasonable time, even though I wasn't focusing on my pace. I love running in my old neighborhood. I think I found some of the "old me" running around those streets again.

This Morning

by Lucille Clifton

this morning
this morning
i met myself
coming in

a bright
jungle girl
shining
quick as a snake
a tall
tree girl a
me girl
i met myself
this morning
coming in

and all day
i have been
a black bell
ringing
i survive
survive!

Reminiscing about BRAN

June always makes me miss BRAN (the Bike Ride Across Nebraska). Now that I'm working day shift, I miss it even more. When I walk out to my car on the way to work, all I can think is that June mornings smell like BRAN to me. It makes me miss being outside all day and wandering around small towns after a grueling workout.

I've done a total of 7 bike rides across Nebraska. When I started, I rode 5 summers in a row: every summer of high school and the summer after freshman year of college. Then I fell into an every-other-summer pattern due to summer jobs, moving, etc. However, this is the SECOND summer in a row that I am not doing BRAN, which means its the longest I've gone without my bike riding, small-town-loving, little-old-lady-homemade-pie-eating fix. I'm determined to go next year.

Somewhere in middle America in 2008

To get a mini biking fix in, Ross and I went out to Shawnee Mission Park for a bike ride this morning. It reminded me of the less pleasant side of BRAN: bike riding! I told myself I would take a week off of running this week. I'm not sleeping well yet and my body isn't recovering from runs. I just get slower and more sore each day. So I thought an easy bike ride would be a nice way to get outside and get moving. I forgot that my KC running woes would also translate into biking woes: there are hills everywhere!

We biked 6.65 miles in 35 minutes. This would be incredibly slow and kind of pitiful on a flat trail, but there were no flat surfaces on our ride! We climbed 679 feet, which isn't a lot to some bikers, but it's a lot when you haven't gone on a long bike ride in a year. It's also a lot when you've promised your legs you will give them a one-week break and they end up begging for mercy halfway up each hill instead!

The elevation on today's ride

It was merciless and painful, yet strangely fun. BRAN in a nutshell. All that was missing was another 40-90 miles of biking, some good home cookin', and a tent waiting to be set up for the night.

Click here to see more BRAN pictures from the 2008 ride.

Learning to Chill

After my run today, submersing myself (and my burning legs... and my accidental sunburn) in cool water sounded great. The pool, however, isn't cold enough (I swear you'll never hear me say that in any other context). My legs have been burning for about 2 weeks now and desperate times call for desperate measures. I decided to resort to the old cross-country runner's standby: an ice bath. It's such a great recovery tool! So much better than just stretching (which, trust me, I do) and Advil.

I think I've only psyched myself up for 2 other ice baths in my life, both senior year of high school. I told Ross that last time I did this, I spent 20 minutes in the tub reading Boston College pamphlets and dreaming of majoring in theology. Funny how choosing a college when you're 18 really can be the biggest decision you'll ever make! My life would be so different if I'd enrolled at BC after getting that glorious acceptance letter!

Anyway, I filled the tub 1/3 of the way with cold water and then dumped about 13 lbs of ice in! It melted pretty quickly, making a uniformly icy cold bath.

Getting in was not fun. But I forgot the best part of an ice bath... after about 5 minutes, your legs get fuzzy and numb and you can't even tell it's cold! I kept having Ross stick his hand in to make sure that water was still icy enough to benefit from it.

You know you're a runner (and grew up biking and dancing) when your legs are flat on the bottom of the tub but your quads aren't covered in water. Boo. I had to keep swishing the water around because my quads needed ice the most.

Ross just had to document this even because he thought it was so funny that I'm always cold, yet I was willingly subjecting myself to an ice bath. Then he got all worried (he took whitewater kayak rescue classes in college) that the water was "wetsuit temperature" and I was going to get hypothermia. The nurse in me reassured him that my nailbeds and lips were still pink, and my torso felt plenty warm. When my arms did start to get goosebumps after 15-20 minutes, I knew it was time to get out (and apply aloe vera to my sunburn). I may have taken a cold bath, but I'm going to be burning up tonight!

I had an uncomfortable workout in the noonday sun today, but the most important part is this: today I realized that getting back into running is also helping me build character. (Corny, I know, but bear with me). I had a tough run today... not tough on paper, but tough on my mind and body. I ran 2.58 miles in 30 minutes. Hardly record-breaking, even by my own personal standards!

That poster made me smile during my "race" on Saturday, but my burning quads are reminding me I don't really want to run all day long :o) My legs never loosened up on my run today. I ran outside on an unshaded trail at 11:30am and it was already a humid 85 degrees. But despite my snail-like pace and discomfort, my negative-nelly mindset never showed up for our usual run date. Could it be that I'm *gasp* growing more mature?!

Never once did I freak out, and the thought of NOT finishing never even crossed my mind! I kind of zoned out, really. Definitely not the "runner's high" type of zoned out. More like my mind just decided, "this is really uncomfortable but it's going to last 30 whole minutes so I'm just going to think of something else entirely."

I know there are days that a full workout just isn't in the cards; I've had several of these since January. I start and I just never warm up. Instead of adrenaline, I get hit with overwhelming fatigue and I know in my heart that finishing a workout like that will do more harm than good. But most days, workouts are just hard. They push me out of my comfort zone, but I know I need to push myself and focus on my achievements instead of my unrealistic expectations.

I'd love to wake up and run an easy 5 miles tomorrow morning, but that's not something that happens overnight. Last November when I was alternating running 1 minute and walking 2 minutes, I couldn't fathom running 4 minutes at a time with just a 1 minute walking break between reps, which I've been doing for a week and a half now. Today I can't imagine running 3 miles without stopping, but I know I've done it before and I will do it again. I ran 1 mile without stopping on Saturday, so I know I'm getting closer! For me, running is JUST AS MUCH of a mental workout as a physical one.

I needed a mental and physical change of pace last week-- 2 weeks of rain was really wearing on me. I swam laps at the gym and a few minutes into my workout, I started to wonder (as I always do) why I don't swim more often! It's really quite nice, mentally. I'm always able to relax during swims and I don't count laps, I just go. When my arms start to hurt, I switch to breaststroke for a few laps and then resume freestyle. Sometimes I just kick, sometimes I do arm drills. But my thoughts are always pleasant (except when I see floating gobs of stuff, at which point I have to immediately remind myself that I'm swimming in gallons of chlorine).

Anyway, my point is that swimming is a good change for me mentally as well as physically and I should do it more often. Maybe that mindset will carry over to my running? As an added perk, I was drying off in the locker room and an older woman told me I was a strong swimmer. She said I make it look so easy! I muttered something bashful about how I splash a lot and I'm sure my face turned bright red. But then I claimed my senses, looked her in the eye, and said "thanks!" Compliments about my strength can only improve my mindset, and my mood was sunny the rest of the evening despite the pouring rain.

*We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.* —Carlos Castaneda

Girls on the Run 5k

I didn't leave work until 9pm yesterday and I was proud of myself for not crying until I got into my car after 15 crazy hours. It's a bad day when the best thing about it was that you didn't cry in front of your co-workers! I miss the days when I loved my job. Now I'm starting to dread going to work.

Ross was certainly dreading work this morning. He had to man the door during Old Navy's $1 flip-flop sale. Last year they had to call the cops 3 times because things got so out of hand! Apparently people lose all control during this sale. Let's remind ourselves that normally Old Navy flip flops are 2 for $5, so you're really just saving $1.50 on a chunk of plastic, and this sale limits you to 5 pairs per person for a total savings of $7.50. Yes I wear and love my cheap-o flip-flops, but I don't think I'd wait in a line that wraps around the store to get them. Ross doesn't get upset about work that often. I usually ask him how work was and he says, "work-y." But this afternoon when he came home for lunch, he had a few other choice words in his answer!

While he dealt with difficult customers, I made a last-minute decision to run the Girls on the Run 5k this morning. I was hoping to beat my Truffle Shuffle time and run a sub-32 minute race, but instead I finished in 32:58. Not terrible, considering I didn't have my long-legged running buddy (Ross) with me.

I walked 1 minute at mile 1, 1 minute at mile 2, and 1 minute at mile 2.5. I ran the first mile without stopping in 9:59! After that you have to factor in the walking, but I also know I slowed down a bit. Mile 2 was 10:42 and Mile 3 was 11:01. Mile 0.14 was 1:16. I'm happy with my time because I know I was pushing myself and I also have to factor in the heat that I'm no longer used to. (But I am glad summer seems to be arriving after all... April showers lasted a good 2 months here).

The 5k "route" was a glorified 2 laps around a parking lot, so I wasn't too into the race itself, but Girls on the Run sounds like a really cool program! I may look into being a volunteer coach this fall to give me something to do on my days off.

*Running to him was real; the way he did it was the realest thing he knew. It was all joy and woe, hard as diamond; it made him weary beyond comprehension. But it also made him free.* –from Once a Runner by John L. Parker, Jr.

Garmin Grins

This birthday keeps on giving! My parents gave me birthday money to put toward a Garmin Forerunner 305 and the package arrived today! I tore it open and immediately plugged the thing in. I'm sure I visibly wilted when I read that you had to charge it for 3 hours before using it the first time and Ross verified that the manufacturer knew what he was talking about. Apparently batteries "learn" their lifespan when you charge them fully- erm, something like that. Ask Ross.

Disclaimer: this is a stock photo. I only wish I could run 3.8 miles in 28 minutes!

ANYWAY, I finally ran with it and I love it. I'm still figuring out all the little details, but it's very easy to press start and stop and scroll through the screens telling you your time, pace, and distance. It can also show heartrate, but I didn't wear the monitor strap today.

I was all excited to plug it into the computer after my run and I trudged up to our apartment to find... a locked door! I never bring my key when I run and Ross is home. He'd left at 6:00 for his 7:00-10:00pm night class in Lawrence and I didn't finish my run until 6:10! MAJOR miscommunication! I ran to the apartment office, which is open until 6pm, but of course it was already closed and locked for the night. So I walked ANOTHER 1.5 miles roundtrip (+ 1 huge hill) to the QuickTrip down the road to use their phone and leave a very angry voicemail for Ross.

By the time I got back to the apartment complex, it was only 7:05pm. Ross' class had just started and he had a presentation tonight, so I knew he wouldn't be able to leave class when he got my message! After standing by my car for a few minutes, the sun started to set and I started to get cold. So I decided to see if I could climb up onto our balcony.

I'd been out there earlier today planting stuff (involving another post and another birthday gift, this time from my mother-in-law), and I was praying the sliding door was still unlocked! Don't worry, the lights were out in the two apartments below ours so no one would think I was breaking in while they were cooking dinner. I got up to the second floor balcony easily enough, but there was a bigger gap between the second and third stories. You probably don't want to know what I did, considering my lack of arm strength, wobbly balcony construction, and distance from the ground. Suffice to say, I'm so glad I'm alive and uninjured writing this post. I must've been delirious! Some spiderman-like moves and sheer willpower launched me onto our balcony after several attempts and (praise God!) the sliding door was still unlocked. I rushed to the kitchen to chug some water and inhale my belated dinner! Too bad I didn't leave the Garmin on for my climb. That would've been some nice vertical elevation!

When I finally plugged my new toy into the computer, it automatically pulled up my workout stats and even made a chart plotting distance and elevation! (It's pretty much a hill any way you run from our apartment). I'm still trying to figure out how to see a breakdown of your pace per mile. Right now, it just shows my average pace and my fastest pace (apparently for one brief, shining moment, I was running at an 8:30 pace- ha! I haven't run a full mile in under 9 minutes since high school).

I love my Garmin! And I will never run without a key again. And please thank God for not letting me injure myself in my studpidity. Amen.

Lynn Electric 5k

Congratulations to Ross! After his first 5k last month, he agreed to sign up for another one in April. I ended up having to work the night before, but he decided to drive out to Lawrence, KS and run the race anyway. I'm so proud of him!

He was aiming for a sub-30 minute time, but Lawrence is HILLY. He thought he came in at around 31 minutes, but the official results clocked him at 20:13. Typo? Or am I just really holding Ross back when he runs with me at my pace?!



The big event of the day was actually the Lynn Electric Marathon and Ross had never seen such a huge running crowd before! He said he'd do the Lynn Electric 1/2 Marathon with me next year. We got awesome technical t-shirts this year (he picked mine up for me. I did register, after all). Next year, we will earn the word "marathon" on our shirts!

Eat, Sleep, Run

I have a Nike t-shirt hanging in my closet with "Eat, Sleep, Run" emblazoned on the front. Senior year of high school, I was in my running element! It's embarassing to think how long ago that was. Yet I still think of myself as a runner. I'm so happy to be getting into it again. I'm actually starting to look forward to my workouts!

I recently discovered a blog by my friend Amari from high school (by the way, anytime you see an underlined word in my blog, you can click on it and it'll direct you to a link regarding whatever subject I'm talking about). It's a great blog and the other night when I couldn't sleep, I started reading hers and some of the other blogs she recommends. I ran across a one called Healthy Tipping Point and found some tips for beginning runners that I could really identify with! If Emily and I can do this, anyone can :o)

Here are the tips, with a few of my own comments added in:

1. Start slow and short! You don’t want to burn yourself out mentally OR physically. Don’t try to pound out a 5 miler on your first run, and don’t be disappointed if you have to stop after 10 minutes. Similarly, don’t try to be a speed demon right away.

2. Try the Galloway Method, which is basically walk/run/walk/run. You walk for 2 minutes, then run for 2 minutes, then walk for 2 minutes, etc. This gives you time to catch your breath and cool down. Gradually decrease the amount of time you spend walking and increase the amount of time you spend running.

3. Stay hydrated! This is equally important in the winter and in the summer.

4. Find a running buddy. It’s best if you can run with someone slightly better than you who is willing to walk when you need to. A running buddy holds you accountable, pushes you to improve, and gives you someone to chat with — which helps the time fly by. (Emily Gilmore is my running buddy even though we don't exactly go on runs together since we live in different states. But she's hard-working, determined, and committed. I can't skip a workout because I KNOW she's not skipping a workout!)

5. Sign up for a race! I love doing races. Races give you motivation to succeed, and it makes your workout schedule have a “point.” (See my personal training goals a few posts ago).

6. To fight the urge to slow down or quit, listen to music, plan your day, or just zone out! Running serves as excellent mediation. Focus on your breathing, the feel of your blood coursing through your veins, and the sensation of power pushing through your legs.

7. Think positive! Too many people focus on how hard running is. Well, of course it's hard work. And it's even harder if you think about how mucy you're dreading it or you bitch and moan about it. I talk and think about running as my life’s passion, even though I'm just (re-)starting out. Put a positive spin on exercise, and it won’t seem like a chore!

8. Just do it. Seriously. This is what gets me out the door most days. Sometimes I don’t want to run, but I just lace up my shoes and GO. Within an hour, my workout is DONE and I feel more energized, happier, and more positive! It's hard to remind myself of the rewards of working out before my run, so my bottom line had become JUST. DO. IT.

Cowtown Marathon

Marathon
Back in November, I mentioned that I was going to start training for the February 2011 Cowtown Marathon with my friend Emily Gilmore. We started running then but got sidetracked by holiday travels and winter weather. We started again in January (hence my New Year's resolutions) and I'm still running!
However, I have attempted to train for a marathon before and seen it fizzle out for 1,000 reasons. I was talking to my Dad about India when I realized I wasn't going to be able to go on that mission trip, and he brought up the marathon. My parents know me better than I know myself sometimes! I'm the type of person who will say "yes" to everything, but I rarely follow through. He said not to set my hopes too high on the marathon, either. But if I really wanted to do it, I needed to set a goal and a date on which to re-committ and know that I'm able to put the work and time in to train.
Therefore, since I've been going to the gym and running and feeling an improvement (for the most part... although this Monday was rough), I feel that it's safe to tell you my short-term goals and my re-committment date. Ross and I are running the Truffle Shuffle 5k on March 6 (I have no idea why they chose that name, sorry!) and we have the March for Babies (sponsored by March of Dimes) on May 1. I'm hoping to run the entire 5k next month without taking a walking break.
I think the key will be to keep signing up for little events along the way, several 5ks and 10ks and maybe even a half-marathon (although if the timing doesn't work out with my training, I don't have my heart set on that). That way, it puts more pressure on me to keep running. The Cowtown Marathon is a year away, giving me a false sense of security. I'll think, "I have plenty of time to train for this! I don't need to work out today!" An immediate deadline is much more motivating. Bottom line, if I can run 5 miles without stopping by May 1, I'm going to officially re-committ to the marathon and it will be much more realistic and tangible then!
Kansas
In other news, I can't BELIEVE we've been in Kansas for 4 months as of today! It's growing on us, but I still don't let myself dwell on Texas too much-- it makes me heartsick. We're hopefully going to Amarillo in March for Ross' spring break ("spring break-- wohoo!") and in May we're GOING TO DENTON/FT. WORTH for Emily's grad school graduation!!!!
Work
I'm still on night shift with no end in sight, but having a primary patient makes me want to go to work a little more because I get to see how she's doing! Her parents are so wonderful and they've been able to take all her ups and downs in stride and be here for her every day. I wish all babies had parents like that.