Saturday, October 17, 2009

558 miles without cruise control (or "The Move")

Before I entered my driving coma yesterday on the road between Fort Worth and Kansas City (you know, you're in the "zone" and you aren't even thinking about where you're going or where you came from) I entertained a lot of unorganized thoughts about leaving and about life. Here's a sample:

-If Ross had stayed in the Peace Corps for his entire assignment, he'd just now be returning to the United States! Life would look very different right now.

-I made the decision to live in Ft. Worth twice. The first was when I chose to go to TCU. The second time was when I broke up with a long-distance boyfriend my senior year of college and asked myself, "what do I really want?" I realized I wanted to stay in Fort Worth despite all my homesickness! I love this city. I love speaking Spanglish at work, I love the weather, I love Central Market, I love the local food movement, I love the music (did I mention that Pat Green goes to Christ Chapel with us?), I love the big university (TCU) in a big city, and I love how clean downtown cowtown is.

-I will admit that I DON'T love the traffic. I-35 handed me a nice "goodbye" traffic jam on my way out of the city.

-You never hear me apologize/
For growin' up strong, growin' up right/
Livin' life by the Golden Rule/
Say 'Yes, Ma'am, Thank You'/
Green fields for miles an' miles/
Ain't nothin' but country on the radio dial/
I thank the good Lord I was born an' bred/
Corn fed.
*Corn Fed by Shannon Brown*

-I saw a billboard outside of Ft. Worth that that said DFW Airport is larger than the island of Manhattan. I always knew "DFW" was a real city in addition to Dallas (D) and Fort Worth (FW)!

-My life in Fort Worth may be ending, but it's still my life. It's okay to look back as long as I remember to move forward.

-Turns out travel nursing may not be a glamorous job in my future. I get too attached to a place and can't stand to leave.

-Don’t quit your high school football team halfway through the season/
Don’t bust your buddy in the nose when you know he didn’t mean it/
Don’t lose a girl you love at home for a night in Panama City/
Don’t rush off the phone when your Mama calls - you ain’t that busy
*Don't Ask Me How I Know by Bobby Pinson*

-This birthday billboard has been alongside I-35 for over a month now. I think it's hilarious!

-They have been doing road work on the interstate in Oklahoma for AT LEAST 6 years. Seriously not helping the state's like-ability ratings.

-I wanna love like Johnny and June/
Rings of fire burnin' with you/
I wanna walk the line/
Walk the line/
'Till the end of time/
I wanna love/
Love ya that much/
Cash it all in/
Give it all up
*Johhny and June by Heidi Newfield*

-There's nothing like packing up and moving to make you realize you're just as selfish and materialistic as the next person after all.

-There's also nothing like moving to make you realize how wonderful your husband is! Ross and I don't see eye to eye when it comes to packing/organizing; we like to do things in different orders and we have different ideas of relaxation and peace of mind. But when it comes down to it, he's thoughtful, selfless, and a very hard worker!

I got into Kansas at 11:30 last night. Ross had gotten the mattress out of the U-Haul and we both crashed pretty quickly! We spent our last night in Fort Worth on the floor because we didn't have the pump to inflate our air mattresses. Our real mattress on the floor in an otherwise empty apartment was a big improvement. Once I had a moment to sit still, the permanence of my drive finally HIT ME and the tears came.

Suffice to say, I don't tolerate change well and I have NEVER enjoyed moving. Ross just let me cry on his shoulder. After the tears passed, I realized that I'm going to be sad about this, and it's okay. It's going to hit me several more times I'm sure, but as long as I don't avoid making a life here, it's okay to be sad for a season.

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