Negative Thought of the Day (turned positive?)

So... the Assessment Center called and said they were already closing for the day due to snow, and would be closed tomorrow as well. So I need to reschedule my test. My first response? "Eff you, snow." (Except, not in PG language).

So I called the hospital and changed my schedule, hoping to force my way to work in the snow tomorrow and take the test Friday instead. Then I called the Assessment Center, and they can't schedule me for this Friday. But they can do Saturday, or else next Friday. Ummm no way in HECK am I waiting another week. I took Saturday morning. And then I e-mailed Brooke from BadSeed and I'm hoping to reschedule my Saturday interview and not be frowned upon. (Wait, what?! I'll explain that one later).

SO. Now I am taking my RNC test SATURDAY instead of tomorrow and I can prolong my terrible self-care and housekeeping habits for another two days. Oh boy. Earlier today, I had picked up sushi and a chick flick to occupy my evening, because studying into the night won't do me any good at this point. When they called and cancelled tomorrow's test, I ate my sushi out of protest. And bought several $1.27 songs on iTunes. Once the sushi digests, I'm going to go running and pound out my frustrations to the soundtrack of Glee and hope to God that cheers me up.

I wanted to come to my blog and rant and rave and ask what else life could possibly throw at me (which is always a dangerous question). It's been a long month. And I'm driving myself crazy and literally making myself sick with a cycle of optimism and pessimism about passing this stupid test.  But when I logged into blogger.com, I had a comment from my earlier post waiting for me:

Therese, I enjoy your blog and appreciate your dedication to your career. Having had both my children go to the NICU upon birth, I know how much your presence and reassurance means to scared parents and sick babies. Thanks for what you do. 

Cue extreme humility. Thank you, Mel, for reminding me why I'm doing this. Even if I somehow don't pass my test Saturday, the big picture is that I have learned A LOT while studying for this test. Some of the things I've learned are already affecting my patient care (and helping me impress/scare med students when I can answer a question that they can't). I needed a reminder.

And, if there's a positive side to prolonging my stress, it's that I can also prolong my studying. I was cramming in a few more subjects this morning with plans to go through my flashcards this afternoon/evening. Now I can take my time today going through the last few sections (dermatology, neurology, genitourinary) today and save the flashcards for a cozy chair at Starbucks on Friday.

For now, I'm going to go clean the kitchen. And go running. And, heck, I might as well watch that chick flick!