I feel like life has been non-stop since September started. And here we are over halfway through October. How did that happen?! All I know is, I'm so tired. I don't want to pack up our apartment and move in 10 days. (I don't know if it's better or worse that we're moving across the street in the same apartment complex). I don't want to look at my race training schedule. I don't want to cook a healthy dinner because it means a messy kitchen. I don't want to go to work. By the time we unpack and settle into our new apartment, the holidays will be upon us. I don't see things slowing down until March. And that thought exhausts me.
Maybe it's because I'm exhausted in general. I have been fighting a head cold all week and have not been sleeping well. Running, after a glorious high point last week, has gone rapidly downhill (figuratively, unfortunately, and not literally). I ran about half the miles I was scheduled to this week- culminating in today's "11 mile run" that turned into a lousy, windy, humid, sweaty, achy 4 miles.
My legs are tired. My heart is tired. My head is tired of mental running games. I'm starting to dread runs. I wake up feeling like I "have" to get this certain run in, instead of feeling strong and confident and WANTING to go running. I'm questioning whether or not I actually want to sign up for the marathon. The whole point was to get in shape and after almost a year of consistent exercising, I feel like I am almost there. Do I really need to run an insane 26.2 miles to prove it?
I still alternate running 5 minutes and walking 1 minute for most of my runs, and definitely for anything over 3 miles. I really loved the 10k last month and I'm already looking forward to March when I can quit the long distances and instead work on speed and eliminating walking breaks. (I say March because, inevitably, I will still sign up for the marathon in February hoping that I get out of this funk by then).
If you asked me a year ago if I could run 10 miles, I would have laughed in your face. That was the high school Therese who could run like that. But last Friday, I was on top of the world. There are a lot of things I don't miss about high school, but being in good shape is one thing I do miss. Senior year, I could go out and run for an hour at a time without thinking twice. Maybe someday I'll get there again. Today if you asked me if I could run 10 miles, I would still laugh in your face! My legs felt like deadweights all day and my knees are creaky.
What I'm hoping helps in the next few weeks:
-starting my beloved Bikram yoga again next week
-today's ice bath (I should probably start making them a weekly occurrence)
-lots of sleep
-stretching with the foam roller every day (I think a tight IT band is what's making my left knee hurt)
-vitamin C and zinc (to get this cold out of my system)
-lots of fruits and veggies to aid in physical and mental recovery
Tonight, I'm relaxing on the couch and eating the Pumpkin Ginger Snaps I just made. (Thanks for the reci"pea" Sarah!)
makes 20-24 cookies
- 1 c. whole wheat pastry flour + 1 c. unbleached all-purpose flour
- 1 T. ginger
- 2 t. baking soda
- 1/2 t. baking powder
- 1 t. cinnamon
- 1/2 c. butter at room temperature
- 1/2 c. canned pumpkin
- 3/4 c. organic sugar + additional 1/4 c. for rolling
- 1/4 c. molasses
In a medium bowl, combine flour, ginger, baking soda, baking powder and cinnamon. Set aside. Using an electric or stand mixer, cream together butter, pumpkin, sugar and molasses. Gradually add flour mixture to wet ingredients, mixing until a dough comes together. Chill dough for at least an hour.
When dough is chilled, preheat oven to 350 and pour remaining 1/4 c. of sugar into a shallow bowl. Roll heaping tablespoons full of dough into balls. Roll each ball in the sugar until completely covered. Flatten cookie dough balls slightly and bake for 8 minutes or until edges are set. Do not overbake. Cookies will seem soft, but allow them to cool on the pan for 1-2 minutes before transferring to a cooling rack.
Now if only I could learn to be thankful for everything even when I'm under the weather, like this blogger is!