Keep on keepin' on

I haven't said a whole lot about marathon training lately, but I'm still running 3 times a week! My mileage ticker is slowly but surely creeping upward (see the dailymile.com box in the right sidebar). I'm having some issues with sore feet and extremely tight calves after standing all day at work, but I'm just happy I'm still going. Slow and steady *finishes* the race.

Crazy Days

I suddenly have less time to blog now that I'm on day shift. Working 6:45am-7:30pm leaves you worn out in a whole different way. Don't get me wrong, I'm SO glad to be on day shift! (Even though I will always have a soft spot for my night shift co-workers and they will always have my undying respect.) But day shift is so much busier. "More bang for less buck," as my friend Kate says.
My feet hurt and my legs are so stiff. I worked Friday and Saturday and Saturday was especially JPS-worthy crazy. When I got up this morning, my feet started to hurt while I was standing in the kitchen making breakfast! And I get to do it all again tomorrow. However, I am very glad that I started my nursing career in such a busy unit. I still miss it with all my heart.
I'm so UNSURE of everything here. It REALLY doesn't help that my current NICU has been divided since I got here. There's one unit on the first floor and the main unit is on the 5th floor. We get shuffled between them just enough that I've been here 7 months and I still can't find supplies when I really need them!
I miss going to deliveries. I miss having designated "admit" nurses and I hate the chaos when we might be getting a baby and no one seems to know who is even going to take the admission at first. I remember feeling so lucky that in my entire first year and a half of nursing, there was never a day I DREADED going to work. I LOVED my job. I am still undecided here. Don't get me wrong, I love my patients (most of them, anyway) but there are definitely days that the thought of going in to work really weighs me down.
Ross hates it when I complain about missing Ft. Worth, but I need to get this out. I miss JPS. Yes, the county hospital with mostly Spanish-speaking clientele and homeless people watching TV in the ER waiting room when the weather was bad. I miss my little Hispanic babies who were always born with a full head of hair. I miss having a Neonatologist at the hospital 24/7.

That's Dr. Prieto on the right... my hero! I would move back to Fort Worth JUST to follow her around and learn from her. She always talked to the nurses, got their opinions, and actually dialogued with us regarding the patient's status. The best day of my nursing career was when we were talking about a baby's blood gas and I said something she hadn't thought of and she complimented me!

I definitely miss doctors who took the time to teach the nurses in the unit! (Here they're too busy teaching the residents, most of whom will never step foot in a NICU again after their rotation.) I miss being at the bedside when the doctors spoke to the infant's parents in rapid-fire native tongue. It's been 7 months and my Spanish is all but gone. I hate that.

I really hope that studying for my RNC brings back some confidence, because right now I'm no longer one of the lucky few who can say that I do what makes me happy and I get paid for it!
*A good leader inspires people to have confidence in the leader, a great leader inspires people to have confidence in themselves* -Groucho Marx

Community Supported Agriculture Week 1

When we moved here, I researched CSA groups in the area and I've signed up to get one box of fresh, local produce per week for 25 weeks this spring, summer, and fall from Fair Share Farm. Ross graciously picked up our first week's produce while I was at work today and he even took a picture in the car.

It all looks amazing and I'm so sad I won't be able to cook with it for a few days due to work! By the way, does anyone know what the purple flower is? I have a feeling we'll be learning about a lot of new produce this summer.

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A full produce drawer makes me happy! My garden is doing alright, but it's kind of at a standstill right now with all this cool, wet weather we're having.

I'm glad there are professionals out there to supplement my first gardening attempt.

Happy Mother's Day!

I took a quick trip to Omaha this weekend and my mom had all 4 kids under one roof for Mother's Day. How she handled 4 kids under the age of 10 I'll never know. Although she grew up in a house with 5 kids under the age of 6, so I'm guessing my grandma taught her a thing or two!

As for Ross' mom, she had to raise Ross... enough said. When his sister Emily was learning to sit and walk, Ross would walk by and casually push her over! He's still a bully.

Happy Mother's Day to my wonderful mom, mother-in-law, and my awesome grandmothers who are computer-savvy and read my blog!

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National Day of Prayer

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I'd like to share a prayer that has gotten me through some tough times. I'm not sure where I found it, but it's been on a sticky note on my laptop for 2+ years now.

God, make me brave for life: oh, braver than this.
Let me straighten after pain,
as a tree straightens after the rain,
Shining and lovely again.
God, make me brave for life; much braver than this.
As the blown grass lifts, let me rise
From sorrow with quiet eyes,
Knowing Thy way is wise.
God, make me brave, life brings
Such blinding things.
Help me to keep my sight;
Help me to see aright
That out of dark comes light.

Check out this preemie's crib

All my nerdy NICU friends have been sending this video around... I'm a little behind the times. I don't know who recorded it, but it's pretty funny!

FYI: PDA means "patent ductus arteriosus" and it means that a fetal heart structure remained open after delivery instead of closing. It's pretty common among preemies and causes a heart murmur which, at times, can be turbulent enough to sound like a washing machine when you listen with a stethoscope... hence the joke.

Good morning, day shift!

Ah, day shift. It almost feels like my first day at KU all over again! When I started working back in October, they were so desperate for experienced nurses on night shift that I didn't work a single day shift with a preceptor- I went straight to nights. Now I'm going to be working with people who only know me from change of shift report.
*You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself in any direction you choose.
You're on your own.
And you know what you know.
You are the guy who'll decide where to go.*
~Dr. Seuss
New haircut? Check.
New work shoes that look more professional than tennis shoes and make me 3 inches taller? Check.

New scrubs? Check.

Caffeine? Check!
Truth is, I was scared out of my mind for my first day shift today. Day shift tends to be much faster-paced and you have to be on your toes to talk to the doctors when they make rounds and write orders for the day. I feel like I've lost a lot of skills since leaving JPS and I'm terrified someone will find out I'm just an expensive babysitter! Well, the babysitter part is an exaggeration. I still consider myself a good nurse. But I miss going to deliveries, admitting babies, and juggling terrible assignments. I can't believe I said that, but it's true! You feel so much more accomplished when you get through a crazy day. I'm sure I'll have my share of those, but I really miss my delivery and admitting skills.
I must keep reminding myself of the positives:
1. I went to the February staff meeting and asked our manager if we had a Developmental Care Committee. She said no, but she'd like one. And then she put me in charge of it!
2. I was in a family meeting with a mom whose baby is one of our micro-preemies, and the doctor (our head neonataologist) told her, "Therese is actually the head of developmental care here. You should be very glad she's taking care of your baby." (Prior to that statement, I wasn't sure he even knew who I was since that was my second-ever day shift).
3. Sometimes the Pediatric ICU (PICU) nurses call us when they've attempted an IV on a kid a few times without success. I was the only NICU nurse available to go downstairs and help them the other day... and I got the IV on my first stick! It's always a bigger deal when you have 3 other nurses hovering around you and the hard-stick patient.
4. My sweet lil' primary patient went home on my birthday and her mom still sends me updates!

Career goals to keep the "I'm losing all my skills" worries away:
1. Get the Developmental Care Committee up and running. We've already had 2 meetings and things are really going well.
2. Take the NICU Certification test by December 15 (my 3 year nursing anniversary). This actually scares me out of my mind, but it's something that will really help me feel like I'm not missing out on learning experiences.

*A great deal of talent is lost to the world for want of a little courage. Every day sends to their graves obscure men whose timidity prevented them from making a first effort.* -Sydney Smith
*Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside of them was superior to circumstance.* -Bruce Barton