Just Say No

This entire thought process occurred yesterday (Sunday) afternoon at work:

After I got back from lunch, the charge nurse asked if I wanted to work extra today (Monday). I had already signed up for overtime Wednesday, but they had several babies who needed one-on-one nurses Monday, so they were more desperate for help than usual.  I said, "Sure, take me off of Wednesday and I'll work Monday instead."

Then I remembered I had to have my Bone Marrow Donor labwork done this morning, so I said, "Actually, I can help out, but I can't come in until 11." Which was fine. Then I started to get anxious thinking about it. That meant putting myself at 3 in a row, which always stresses me out now that I'm on day shift. Granted, I'm doing three in a row by working Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, but I was mentally prepared for that. I started wondering, what will I pack for lunch? Will I have time to run errands, workout, and get blood drawn before going in at 11? So I erased my name and put myself back on Wednesday.

Then I felt guilty. But I reminded myself that the entire NICU does not (by any stretch of my imagination) depend on me and me alone. Yes, I work overtime almost every week because we are consistently short every shift thanks to a summer baby boom. Yes, it frustrates me that other people complain about staffing, yet refuse to work overtime. Yes, I like to help when I can. But it's my life, too!  And I'm SO glad I decided not to work today.

On the way to the lab

I got my blood drawn without incident. It's always good when the lab tech tells you that you have good veins before she even applies the tourniquet to your arm. (As an aside, every time I get blood drawn, I feel a little more guilty for sticking our babies when they don't know what's coming. And in general, they do NOT have good veins, so it's never a simple stick.)

Success

I went to Coffee Girls in Brookside and got a fresh squeezed juice as my reward. I'm hoping the extra dose of vitamins and minerals will help my now-slightly-diminished blood supply. After all, I have a 10k to run in two weeks!

Liquid Sunshine

I ate a big lunch at home and then I sat by the pool for 3 hours, soaked up the sun, and read a book nearly cover to cover. As much as I complained about the heat this summer, I'm shockingly upset that summer is fading and I needed one last fling with it.

I love summer!

Dear sunshine, please don't leave me.

 Now I'm anxious about work again, but it's nice to know that I got at least 3 hours of relaxation and sunshine in.  Changing seasons always leave me nostalgic. When I was walking back from the pool, I thought of one of my favorite quotes from Elizabeth Gilbert:

"Of course, we all inevitably work too hard, then we get burned out and have to spend the whole weekend in our pajamas, eating cereal straight out of the box and staring tat the TV in a mild coma (Which is the opposite of working, yes, but not exactly the same thing as pleasure)."

Substitute computer for TV and that's usually my day off in a nutshell-- the opposite of work, yes, but not exactly relaxation. The moral of my story is, just say no. Sometimes "me" time is more important than overtime!